[catch-all] my body is a cage;

[dreamflowers]

WHO: Jade and You.
WHAT: Catch-all log for April.
WHEN: Month of April, namely after the Shard-Bearers have awakened in their respective Resting Rooms.
WHERE: Various, but mostly Old Springstar (and Skysong).
WARNINGS: Psychosis due to the Arcane Fever stuff. I'll mark in the subject headers for anything heavy.

Prompts will be added in the comments. If there's anything specific you'd like me to whip up for you, feel free to hit me up in a PM, discord, or plurk (whippoorwill). This will be especially helpful as Jade's Arcane Fever will result in her struggle to discern what's real and what isn't, potentially causing her to hallucinate alternate versions of characters! Fun times.

Comments

[dreamflowers]

Pfft, yeah. Being a king is a heck of a lot different than being some penniless urchin kid from a podunk farm.

[Not being intentionally self-depreciating here, but... Facts are facts.

[When Dimitri asks, however, Jade blinks, then realizes how odd her comment probably comes off. She takes another drink of water before setting it down.]

Well... [She tucks a strand of long, black hair over her ear, revealing the pointed tips with dark looped earrings along the shell.] I'm not totally human. Not that it's an excuse -- Nehrim isn't at all friendly towards outlanders in general. But I used to try and... "pass" as human as best I could, for a variety of reasons.

[hauntedking]

Oh-! Oh, I see.

[ He looks a touch sheepish. ]

...I honestly hadn't noticed. Still... that doesn't make any difference. It shouldn't be a reason for others to harm or hunt you. Or anyone.

[ He shakes his head. ]

...in any case, what did you need for your treatment? I can make an attempt to find something.

[dreamflowers]

[Seeing his initial reaction makes her chuckle a bit. Considering her efforts were to try and blend in among humans, his scrutiny (or lack thereof) was not unwelcome.]

If it's one thing I've learned over the years, people don't need a reason to hate or harm others who are different from them. They'll do it regardless.

[And she was hunted... though not specifically due to her being a halfbreed. But that's another story.]

Treatment. Right.

[She glances to the shadows again. Mercifully, the delusions have seen fit to disappear for now, but Jade remains on her guard nevertheless.

[Blinking, she glances back up at Dimitri, her brow furrowing when she sees his face not looking quite... right again. She sighs and closes her eyes.]

I can write up a list of ingredients needed to make something called Ambrosia. Most I doubt will be available in this world -- but other, more common ones might be more feasible, though less effective. [At this point, she'll take what she can get.]

[hauntedking]

I can do some hunting for them... and see what I can find. I don't know if we'll be successful, but it's the only thing we can do I suppose. Unless there's another way to handle it? Like discord?

[ He seems genuine about all of that at least. ]

I have to admit I'm not familiar with Ambrosia, unfortunately. It's not something we... had to deal with in my own world, obviously.

[dreamflowers]

Discord sounds like the exact opposite of something that would help me.

[Then, she pauses.] No, wait. I've read a little about that -- well, more like skimmed. How... would that help, exactly...?

[There was only so much she could research during her initial weeks here before they all fell asleep for 114 years, okay.]

But I'm willing to try whatever if Ambrosia's out. I don't expect you'll find many people, if anyone, who'll know how to make the stuff in this damned place.

[hauntedking]

I meant more... would something like the approaches we use to handle discord work on your condition?

[ He shrugs sheepishly. ]

For some reason close contact with others, especially of the opposite faction, helps deal with discord. I don't know if this works quite the same...

[dreamflowers]

Ah, probably not.

[She pauses, thinking about how much she should try to elucidate.]

The Fever is a direct result of my magic. The way it works, it's, er... different from the kinds that I've read about here, to say the least.

[hauntedking]

...I can't claim to be an expert. But I'm willing to learn a little, if you think it will help.

[dreamflowers]

I'm hardly one, myself. But I'll try to put it as simply as possible...

[Even though she's become quite skilled in magic, it's hard to contend with the fact that she's still pretty new to it. It also means that much of her knowledge is quite fresh.

[She tries to think of where to start:]

Did you have one of those weird dreams when we woke up? That feeling like you were yourself, but not?

[hauntedking]

...yes. It was very strange. I thought it was only a dream, although I didn't linger on it too much. Why?

[dreamflowers]

[So it wasn't just her who had a dream of that nature. Jade wasn't entirely sure, but it's as much a comfort as it is disquieting.]

Well, my magic is... like that. The ability to see possibilities and pull from those realities, making them real.

For me, that switch is always on -- and the Fever is a result of the body and mind not being able to "cope" with it. If I'm not careful, it can kill me, or worse.

[The way she talks about it is matter-of-fact, like she's simply describing allergies and not a life-threatening condition.]

[hauntedking]

I see.

[ He responds in a low voice, looking a touch lost in thought. ]

That sounds... overwhelming to put it mildly. And this ambrosia is the only way to contain it? There's no other way to help you?

[ He looks very serious. ]

Perhaps we can ask the healers here if they've heard of anything...

[dreamflowers]

Well, there's Peaceweed... or similar drogae I've been able to find here.

[Drugs. She basically means drugs.]

It's only been good for maintaining the Fever at lower levels, though. I think the symptoms have gotten far too "advanced" for them to be much use, so Ambrosia's gonna be the next best thing.

[She sighs, leaning back in her seat.]

I can write down the ingredients, and you can keep an eye out for them.

[hauntedking]

...yes. I can't say I'm an apothecary or anything of the sort, but I do grow some things in the garden. If anything I can find can help, I'll let you know as soon as I can.

[ He nods. ]

Until then... is there anything else that can be done? Anything that might at least treat the symptoms a little?

[dreamflowers]

Right. You got anything to write with? I can jot down a list. Unless you've got a good memory.

[Literacy wasn't afforded to everyone on Vyn, but Jade was lucky enoguh to have once had companions who taught her how to read and write.]

As for treating the symptoms... I dunno. If you can find anything akin to Peaceweed, I guess? I found some places down in Kowloon that were similar. Like I said, they probably won't be as effective at the advanced stages I'm in, but it does help to ease the pain a bit.

[hauntedking]

Yes, I should have some paper and a pencil... somewhere.

[ He rises to go rummage through a drawer. ]

I'm not familiar with Peaceweed, but I can certainly ask. Someone around here might know of something similar.

[dreamflowers]

Mm.

[As Dimitri gets up to retrieve writing utensils, Jade nods, before finishing her glass or water to sate that dry itching in her throat.]

Shouldn't matter whether you're familiar. Some local drogae seem to work just as well as substitutes, but I haven't explored too much. I try to avoid the heavy hitters. [For very good reasons.]

[hauntedking]

I can imagine. Drugs are... troublesome.

[ He returns with his scratch paper and pencil. ]

I'll ask around, regardless. If I can help, I will. I... know how it feels to doubt reality, even if the cause of my own troubles isn't quite the same.

[dreamflowers]

Yeah... They are.

[It was agony trying to cut herself off the way she did, but that's a whole other can of worms.

[She sighs, setting down the now empty glass.]

I'm not sure if it helps that I'd already been predisposed to this shit even before I got my magic. But I know how it is when it's all just... your head.

So... yeah. I appreciate it.

[hauntedking]

Of course.

[ He takes a breath. ]

If you need more water, please let me know. But... for now let's see what we can sort out. I'll write it all down and we can go from there.

[dreamflowers]

[Cradling her head in her hands, Jade nods absentmindedly.]

Yeah... One step at a time.

[Once she's given the chance to write down a list, only two of the ingredients seem like viable options -- thistle and nightshade. Anything else, she can probably improvise for the necessary potion.]

Dunno if these things'll have the same alchemical properties to make Ambrosia, but, eh... [She shrugs.] We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

[hauntedking]

We certainly will. And... in the meantime, please. Feel free to use my house to get some rest. To find some respite, however temporary. If you ever need anything, my door is open to you.

[ And he means every word of it. ]

[dreamflowers]

Hm.

[She's quiet a moment, thinking before she adds:]

I... didn't really have much of a home for a long time -- or places that I could consider safe. So, uh, I appreciate it. The way things are in Skysong, I don't think I could stand staying in Heliopolis anymore.

[hauntedking]

...I understand what you mean. There was always a sense of security, of soldiers... but now it feels quite different altogether. I'm not sure I enjoy it.

[ No, he's very sure. He's just trying to be... what? Polite? ]

It's not enjoyable to wake up and find so much suddenly changed.

[dreamflowers]

[Well, Jade gets it. Kind of. Though she so rarely knew what that security actually felt like, she has an idea; has maybe felt it on a few occasions in her miserable life.]

Pff, I can imagine? I mean, I was only around for like a month before everything changed, but I guess it must be jarring as fuck for folks like you who made a home outta this world.

[Which isn't to say the adjustment period has been difficult for her as well, but she feels somewhat fortunate to have woken up to find herself in almost a similar conundrum as the one she was already acclimating to.]