Jade (the Prophetess) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dreamflowers) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
kenoslogs2024-02-25 05:33 pm
dreamflowers) wrote in kenoslogs2024-02-25 05:33 pm
[closed] you keep dreaming and dark scheming
WHO: Jade and Alice L. Malvin (a_noble_flame)
WHAT: Just some late night night-terrors, no big d.
WHEN: Late February/Emru.
WHERE: Springstar; Heliopolis dorms.
WARNINGS: PTSD and all that fun stuff. Will update if necessary.
[To say that the Prophetess' arrival was ill-timed would be quite an understatement. Not only had she made very little use of herself during the chaos of the attack shortly after clawing her way out of the ground, but her lack of power made her virtually useless, anyways.
[The decision to Harmonize wasn't devoid of hesitation, though. In the end, Jade knew she had made her decision before she even accepted it. Sure, she could have remained on the fence and run, concluding that the problems of this world had nothing to do with her. Except for the grim reality is that it did, and still does. Much as she hates it, hates her damned world, the fact is that she fought tooth and nail trying to save it at one point. Now is no different.
[Of course, such a decision also didn't come without consequence. Everything has a price, including the power she intended to reclaim -- something which she had since accepted several moons ago, back when she had first washed ashore on a foreign country with a sickness that was slowly killing her.
[Fortunately, she's spared from having to endure the "Journey to the Water" again in order to tame her magic reawakening within her, but it still hits her just as hard in other ways. The headaches, the pain, the voices and the mirages.
(as soon as it's out, we'll put it in the trough)
[Nightmares are nothing new, but they feel more visceral than the had in the last couple of weeks. Painful and real, like their presence echoes in this very room. First comes the paralysis, then the whispers and the callous reminders.
(you're too weak - you always were)
[This time, it's an ocean. An icy chill flooding her senses as she sinks deeper and deeper into the black; so freezing it burns every fiber of her body and soul.
(the salt corrodes your skin)
[Can't breathe.
(and the water filling your lungs is cold)
[Dying.
(but you still haven't found it, child... have you?)
[At some point, she must have stopped breathing, because she truly does feel as though some parts of her have shattered, rather than simply being entangled by the sweat-coated sheets of her dorm bed. The rasp dryness of her throat burns from hyperventilating as a chill shatters her nervous system.
[Soon, what few newcomers were still housed in the Heliopolis dorms are awakened in the middle of the night by screams of bloody murder once Jade finds her own voice again. But in her mind, she is still in that dark, frozen, all-consuming ocean. Drowning. Dying.]
a_noble_flame)WHAT: Just some late night night-terrors, no big d.
WHEN: Late February/Emru.
WHERE: Springstar; Heliopolis dorms.
WARNINGS: PTSD and all that fun stuff. Will update if necessary.
[To say that the Prophetess' arrival was ill-timed would be quite an understatement. Not only had she made very little use of herself during the chaos of the attack shortly after clawing her way out of the ground, but her lack of power made her virtually useless, anyways.
[The decision to Harmonize wasn't devoid of hesitation, though. In the end, Jade knew she had made her decision before she even accepted it. Sure, she could have remained on the fence and run, concluding that the problems of this world had nothing to do with her. Except for the grim reality is that it did, and still does. Much as she hates it, hates her damned world, the fact is that she fought tooth and nail trying to save it at one point. Now is no different.
[Of course, such a decision also didn't come without consequence. Everything has a price, including the power she intended to reclaim -- something which she had since accepted several moons ago, back when she had first washed ashore on a foreign country with a sickness that was slowly killing her.
[Fortunately, she's spared from having to endure the "Journey to the Water" again in order to tame her magic reawakening within her, but it still hits her just as hard in other ways. The headaches, the pain, the voices and the mirages.
(as soon as it's out, we'll put it in the trough)
[Nightmares are nothing new, but they feel more visceral than the had in the last couple of weeks. Painful and real, like their presence echoes in this very room. First comes the paralysis, then the whispers and the callous reminders.
(you're too weak - you always were)
[This time, it's an ocean. An icy chill flooding her senses as she sinks deeper and deeper into the black; so freezing it burns every fiber of her body and soul.
(the salt corrodes your skin)
[Can't breathe.
(and the water filling your lungs is cold)
[Dying.
(but you still haven't found it, child... have you?)
[At some point, she must have stopped breathing, because she truly does feel as though some parts of her have shattered, rather than simply being entangled by the sweat-coated sheets of her dorm bed. The rasp dryness of her throat burns from hyperventilating as a chill shatters her nervous system.
[Soon, what few newcomers were still housed in the Heliopolis dorms are awakened in the middle of the night by screams of bloody murder once Jade finds her own voice again. But in her mind, she is still in that dark, frozen, all-consuming ocean. Drowning. Dying.]
no subject
Frankly watching Jade load up her pipe is almost as therapeutic as anything. Is that strange? Maybe. It's so methodically done it makes her think of how she relaxes by cleaning her blades and the like.
The lavender is a nice scent though. The weed itself is ... unique to say the least. Alice isn't quite sure if she likes it or hates it. She takes in the scent without complaint though, a thoughtful look on her face. Then she smiles a little.]
When I was little I lived with my great-grandfather for a long time. He liked pipes now and then but only tobacco and generally when I wasn't around. I rather liked the scent of it though.
no subject
Ha. Tobacco's all right, though not my first choice. Peaceweed's been more effective in reducing my Fever.
[Which. She is going to have to get used to again, now that she's Harmonized and can feel her magic slowly return, and with it comes the "fun" drawbacks. But she learned how to manage it back then, and she can do it again.
[After a moment, her eyes flick to Alice before tilting the pipe in her fingers. Judging from what she just said, it doesn't sound like she's ever smoked before, but...]
Wanna try? It's not addictive or anything.
[Jade would know.]
no subject
Jade's offer draws her attention back though. Her brows rise upward as she considers. She had had a long talk with Tezca over the need to unwind. Alcohol was something she would have to approach in dosed portions so she hadn't considered it very deeply. And smoking anything, well ...
After a moment of chewing over it Alice ends up standing and approaching Jade. She hadn't looked at the pipe very closely but now she can admire it's craftsmanship and appearance.]
I'm not sure I would know how.
no subject
[She doesn't know too much about Alice, or if such a thing would suit her fancy. But she does seem to be the sort who could potentially benefit from the habit every now and then.]
Oh, it's easy. You just relax, take in a good breath, and then breathe it out. Just make sure you don't swallow the smoke, or you're in for a bad time.
[Jade is still holding out the decorated pipe in case Alice changes her mind.]
no subject
As long as you don't mind then.
[She's careful about how she does take the pipe. The last thing she wants is to break it in her clumsiness. She doesn't waste time in just eyeballing it either, she let's go of a breath to relax herself and then does as instructed.
Deep breath in. Then another out. Could she hold it for longer? Probably. The wisps of smoke come largely past her lips and she's doing pretty well to be honest. She has a bit of a contemplative look on her face much like someone trying a new flavor for the first time.
Then she hits the end when she does manage to inadvertently swallow. At least she's quick enough to give Jade her pipe back before she turns her back on the other woman to not so delicately hack up a lung into the crook of her elbow. It sounds a little raspy but it's by far one of the easier coughs Alice has ever had.
When she looks back with her eyes a touch teary she notes cheerfully through the last bits of her huffing:]
That started out fairly pleasant.
no subject
First time can be pretty rough for some people, but you get used to it.
[As Jade says this, she takes another drag, not caring that Alice just had her mouth there seconds ago. It's not her first time of puff, puff, pass, at any rate.
[Exhaling the smoke through her nostrils, Jade closes her eyes a moment and leans back, resting her shoulder against the side of the bedframe.]
Not as strong as the stuff I usually take, but it'll give a good buzz for a while.
[Which she can start to feel in her muscles, in her skin. In her brain. It's a soothing high, not as intense as the type of Dust she used to sniff to escape her troubles instead. At one point, she'd be getting the shakes without the stuff, but these days...
[That itch for another fix just doesn't haunt her so much anymore.]
If you feel a strange tickle or lightheadedness, don't worry. That's normal. Should probably sit down, though.
no subject
Oh! Yes, excuse me.
[She doesn't mean to sit down in that poor chair like she's suddenly exhausted but the coughing took it out of her a little. Though frankly now that she's done coughing her lungs still feel pretty good. Far better than any of her childhood coughing fits anyhow. No thickness, no trying to clear her airways.
She leans back in the chair shortly after once the feeling finally begins to trickle over her.]
Is the stuff you usually use very much stronger?
[Ah, maybe Jade doesn't want to delve into that though.]
I apologize. What knowledge I have of these sorts of things is all based around the drug trade. There was a fairly notorious ring ... it wasn't very pretty, I'll say that.
no subject
[After giving the tin a shake, she hands it over to Alice to maybe help with the coughing. But Jade feels her mien grow somber at Alice question, then apology.]
No, it's fine.
[Her expression forced neutral, she deliberates how much is appropriate to share, before she shrugs. Because fuck it.]
You're not too far off. To be honest, I used to be pretty bad about that kinda thing. I wish I could say it's ancient history, but...
Hm. Well, it wasn't too long ago that I was practically sniffing Dust for breakfast.
[But Jade doesn't quite have the disposition of a former Dust addict, or even someone who'd recently gone cold turkey. If she were considered a junky at any point in her life, she hides it pretty damn well.]
no subject
Mm, I understand. A little at least. There were many who retreated to the sewer systems during the war when they were displaced. The community there was unfortunately easy prey for abuse.
[Another sip and she offers the tin back with a slight smile.]
With support many of them did well in the end though.
[She doesn't delve into Jade's own usage. That's neither here nor there as far as Alice is concerned.]
no subject
[Jade takes back the water, pausing before taking a drink for herself. Between the buzz from the pipe and the brandy she had before going to bed earlier, she probably should hydrate a little.]
Not much help for the displaced in Nehrim, unfortunately. Though not without folks trying.
[Didn't help her reticence towards idealism and philanthropy any.]
What kinda support did they get? [Jade asks, maybe in an attempt to avoid her sordid history of bad habits at the moment.]
no subject
[Alice looks somewhat pained for a moment. The stuff Jade shared is started to hit her head and she's sinking back into her chair to cope. It's not bad by any means just ... different.]
While I believe in the mission of war relief completely I do admit there are flaws with it and gaps. There is only so much one section of the army can do. I do admit I try on my own as well though.
[There too though she is only one noble and not even the head of her family. Well technically she is for the moment but ...]
no subject
War relief... We had people do shit like that in my country, too. Didn't always end well. Heard about some... particularly gruesome incidents that happened in villages between the locals and the humanitarian efforts. Mistrust and all that, I guess.
[Despite her words, a small, wry smile forms, before Jade finishes off what's left of her pipe.]
That is to say... I've seen that war relief can be just as dangerous as fighting in a battlefield. I respect the effort, even if it wasn't always extended to people like me.
[Though perhaps some of the outlanders wouldn't have hated her half-Aeterna heritage as much as the Nehrimese. Jade rarely ever got close enough to know for sure.]
no subject
It does come with the territory, yes. I was once told that the people expect action and correction of their problems before trust can be given. Blankets and food lines can only do so much and real systemic change is difficult to say the least.
[She sighs out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding there. It feels strange to be so at ease. Her gaze drifts around the room a moment but it's ... distant. Her mind has floated off to the moments before she left home, that day spent hunched over the radio receiver in a room separate from everyone else but intimately connected through the static-filled voices through the speaker.]
Sometimes there are those people who like a flower in the ground are stepped on too often and can't find the will to raise themselves up in time. They look to society at first, they cry for help and no help comes. They are trampled again and again and eventually they either die or they say, "No more! I won't take this!" and they fight back.
I don't blame them for that fight.