Jade (the Prophetess) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dreamflowers) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
kenoslogs2024-02-25 05:33 pm
dreamflowers) wrote in kenoslogs2024-02-25 05:33 pm
[closed] you keep dreaming and dark scheming
WHO: Jade and Alice L. Malvin (a_noble_flame)
WHAT: Just some late night night-terrors, no big d.
WHEN: Late February/Emru.
WHERE: Springstar; Heliopolis dorms.
WARNINGS: PTSD and all that fun stuff. Will update if necessary.
[To say that the Prophetess' arrival was ill-timed would be quite an understatement. Not only had she made very little use of herself during the chaos of the attack shortly after clawing her way out of the ground, but her lack of power made her virtually useless, anyways.
[The decision to Harmonize wasn't devoid of hesitation, though. In the end, Jade knew she had made her decision before she even accepted it. Sure, she could have remained on the fence and run, concluding that the problems of this world had nothing to do with her. Except for the grim reality is that it did, and still does. Much as she hates it, hates her damned world, the fact is that she fought tooth and nail trying to save it at one point. Now is no different.
[Of course, such a decision also didn't come without consequence. Everything has a price, including the power she intended to reclaim -- something which she had since accepted several moons ago, back when she had first washed ashore on a foreign country with a sickness that was slowly killing her.
[Fortunately, she's spared from having to endure the "Journey to the Water" again in order to tame her magic reawakening within her, but it still hits her just as hard in other ways. The headaches, the pain, the voices and the mirages.
(as soon as it's out, we'll put it in the trough)
[Nightmares are nothing new, but they feel more visceral than the had in the last couple of weeks. Painful and real, like their presence echoes in this very room. First comes the paralysis, then the whispers and the callous reminders.
(you're too weak - you always were)
[This time, it's an ocean. An icy chill flooding her senses as she sinks deeper and deeper into the black; so freezing it burns every fiber of her body and soul.
(the salt corrodes your skin)
[Can't breathe.
(and the water filling your lungs is cold)
[Dying.
(but you still haven't found it, child... have you?)
[At some point, she must have stopped breathing, because she truly does feel as though some parts of her have shattered, rather than simply being entangled by the sweat-coated sheets of her dorm bed. The rasp dryness of her throat burns from hyperventilating as a chill shatters her nervous system.
[Soon, what few newcomers were still housed in the Heliopolis dorms are awakened in the middle of the night by screams of bloody murder once Jade finds her own voice again. But in her mind, she is still in that dark, frozen, all-consuming ocean. Drowning. Dying.]
a_noble_flame)WHAT: Just some late night night-terrors, no big d.
WHEN: Late February/Emru.
WHERE: Springstar; Heliopolis dorms.
WARNINGS: PTSD and all that fun stuff. Will update if necessary.
[To say that the Prophetess' arrival was ill-timed would be quite an understatement. Not only had she made very little use of herself during the chaos of the attack shortly after clawing her way out of the ground, but her lack of power made her virtually useless, anyways.
[The decision to Harmonize wasn't devoid of hesitation, though. In the end, Jade knew she had made her decision before she even accepted it. Sure, she could have remained on the fence and run, concluding that the problems of this world had nothing to do with her. Except for the grim reality is that it did, and still does. Much as she hates it, hates her damned world, the fact is that she fought tooth and nail trying to save it at one point. Now is no different.
[Of course, such a decision also didn't come without consequence. Everything has a price, including the power she intended to reclaim -- something which she had since accepted several moons ago, back when she had first washed ashore on a foreign country with a sickness that was slowly killing her.
[Fortunately, she's spared from having to endure the "Journey to the Water" again in order to tame her magic reawakening within her, but it still hits her just as hard in other ways. The headaches, the pain, the voices and the mirages.
(as soon as it's out, we'll put it in the trough)
[Nightmares are nothing new, but they feel more visceral than the had in the last couple of weeks. Painful and real, like their presence echoes in this very room. First comes the paralysis, then the whispers and the callous reminders.
(you're too weak - you always were)
[This time, it's an ocean. An icy chill flooding her senses as she sinks deeper and deeper into the black; so freezing it burns every fiber of her body and soul.
(the salt corrodes your skin)
[Can't breathe.
(and the water filling your lungs is cold)
[Dying.
(but you still haven't found it, child... have you?)
[At some point, she must have stopped breathing, because she truly does feel as though some parts of her have shattered, rather than simply being entangled by the sweat-coated sheets of her dorm bed. The rasp dryness of her throat burns from hyperventilating as a chill shatters her nervous system.
[Soon, what few newcomers were still housed in the Heliopolis dorms are awakened in the middle of the night by screams of bloody murder once Jade finds her own voice again. But in her mind, she is still in that dark, frozen, all-consuming ocean. Drowning. Dying.]
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Then Cyrus died and she understood what it was. She mourned arriving too late to help alongside her own inability to tell just what it was she should be helping with. This world was so fraught with issues now, people slamming into communions to talk about their vindictiveness or their justified anger --
Hadn't she just gotten off a radio communication at home blaring off these same issues? Hadn't she spent so long with her nerves shot, fear coursing through her as she felt herself crushing who she was in the service of others? There she felt she had done something, gave closure to that tank full of Anti-Ares soldiers and the cast off princess of Pelion. And now?
It's the wee hours of the morning and she's exhausted but still awake, gazing out of a window over the rest of Springstar. She might understand war to some degree but this city was foreign to her still. If she was going to understand it and the rest of the world better she needed someone to teach her. The question was who did she go to? With the divide between Meridians and Zenites widening would it be better to consult one on each side or --
She brings a hand up to the back of her neck seconds before a scream rings through the Heliopolis dorms. It's enough to send her up on her feet with enough force to knock over the chair she had been sitting on.]
What?
[Her first thought was of course yet another murder. Maybe someone was going after the newer Shard-Bearers? It wasn't anymore unlikely than anything else that had happened since she arrived. With gritted teeth she goes for that borrowed sword of hers, barely bothering to strap the scabbard around her waist before she darts out of her room.
Typically Alice is the polite sort. She was raised a noble after all, trained to mind her manners and say 'please' among the host of ideas her grandfather has on nobility. Usually she would knock at a door but she'd also had her fair share of busting into rooms as needed.
Like right now. She might be all of five foot and there are far better people to test the might of the Heliopolis dorm room doors. Yet there she goes, driving the heel of her still-armoured boot just near the keyhole. Remarkably the door does give a vicious creak, a testament perhaps to Alice's determination here and the strength she's built up through the years.]
HELLO? MISS?
[It sounds like a woman anyhow. Alice steps back and gives it another try, slamming her heel near the keyhole yet again.]
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[Save for the familiar woman, now curled up in the corner of her bed with her back pressed against the wall, hands over her head as though shielding her face from falling debris (or worse) coming down on her.
[But there is nothing -- no assailant, no attack. Only her.
[Flinching at the sharp sound of the door being forcefully opened, Jade's sinks into a ball, her screams muffled by her own trembling, compressed body wrapped up in thin sheets.
[In the other corner of the room, right by the door Alice had just kicked open, stands a man with ghastly blue skin and a hole in his chest. Water drips from his straw-colored hair and the ragged clothes he wore the day he died. His eyes are black like the gaping hole in his chest where a sword had run him through, killing him immediately. He doesn't move, doesn't speak. His expression is empty, but she can feel his judgment on her skin.
[Another illusion. The same kind others have reported seeing recently? No. No, this was all her own mind this time, she fears. The echoes of the dead have always been there, and they never took kindly to her simply ignoring them.]
Sorry, I'm sorry... [She hears herself muttering between sharp gasps. Who is she apologizing to? Alice? The corpse? Or so some abstract being that she must have disturbed for this to happen, such as her own worthlessness when people were fucking dying all around her.]
(as if you expected any different)
Shut up. [Jade hisses under her breath.] Shut the FUCK up.
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Eventually though as Jade sinks into more of a ball and keeps screaming the recognition strikes her. Jade, the woman with the coffee -- or well, the woman she'd introduced to coffee. Handholding, spilling, all that; it flees from her mind as she looks at her the way she is.
Her sorries are muttered but still legible in the quiet of the room. Alice's shoulders begin to relax as she comes out of her fighting stance. Quietly she slides her sword back into the scabbard around her waist before she even thinks of coming further into the room.]
... Jade.
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[Everything is just so. Quiet now. Even the voices. And when Jade's eyes briefly flick up towards the sudden light leaking into the room, the corpse in the corner is mercifully absent.
[Should she be relieved? Happy? No. There's only confusion when a small, familiar silhouette hangs at the entrance, saying her name. Jade's jumbled thoughts attempt to make sense of it, of where she is and whether or not this is also real. If she is real.
[Still shaking, she slowly lowers her hands from her head and squints at the light.]
Wh... What're you doing here? [When she speaks, her voice is hoarse from screaming, so the answer should be obvious if not for her addled mind. Her eyes then dart towards the splinters.] And what the heck happened to the door?
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I heard screaming so I was afraid someone else was being murdered.
[Not that she heard Cyrus' murder but if one happened -- albeit to a high-ranking official -- she wouldn't be shocked if another did. The newcomers had all the more reason to be wary if they hadn't Harmonized yet too.
She pauses with her hand on the doorknob, half-turning back to Jade. Her eyes are somewhat adjusted to the darkness still and thankfully there's enough moonlight from whatever windows are in the room to help.]
... Were you having a nightmare?
[She asks it softly like she doesn't want to intrude or ask too much. She's ... not the best at comforting but ...]
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[Well, she's pretty sure it was a few hours... It was dark back then, and it's still dark now. It seemed like more than what she got most nights without her usual "coping mechanisms" to keep her under.]
Ah.
[Of course her screaming would have been cause for alarm around here. She can't blame Alice for reacting the way she did, even at the cost of her door. If anything, it makes her feel like more of an encumbrance to the people currently residing or working in this place.
[At the question, Jade just pulls the blankets over her shoulder and burritos herself in, like that would somehow shield herself from the discomfort of the situation. Her lips purse into a thin line as she tries to consider how much is worth sharing in her pathetic, weary state of mind.]
Guess so. Can't remember too much of it, though.
[It's not entirely a lie. When you get nightmares as frequently as she does, they all just kind of blur together after a certain point. All she remembers is drowning, and a suffocating darkness. Nothing worth writing home about, truly.]
It's... not uncommon, I'm sorry to say. But I've already been planning on getting a place outside of here soon, so I don't bother the other people living here with it.
[Much like she did just now, it seems.]
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The blonde lingers by the doorway. She's not afraid in the least but she is definitely respectful. With Jade curling up as she's doing it's clear the other woman must be more than a little uncomfortable. As Jade talks Alice wonders if she ought to leave or not and then when she mentions bothering others Alice can't help but frown a little.]
I won't say screaming isn't alarming but no one would say you were bothering them. I was admittedly alarmed but I wasn't bothered.
[Bothering Alice would be more like ... maybe interrupting her during her practices? No, that wouldn't bother her either. ... Standing in front of her might do it. It certainly bothers her when the Corporal does.
Alice's figure relaxes some now that the threat is past. A thought strikes her then.]
I'll leave you if you like but if you would rather have some company for a while I would be happy to oblige.
[She pauses there to admit lightly:]
I was already awake when I heard you. My mind has been ... restless lately.
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[With a shudder, she manages to untangle her long, slender legs from the sheets, swinging them over the edge of the bed. They both seem adult enough not to care when she casually pulls on the pants she had kicked off just before sleep, right there in front of Alice.]
I can tell. You looked like you were ready to throw hands just then.
[Considering her subtle offer, her attention falls down to the pouch laying at her bedstand.]
Some company doesn't sound too bad. Don't think I'll be getting any more sleep tonight, anyways.
[Pausing, she grabs the pouch and pulls out a decorated pipe she had bought at the Empório marketplace, some time after receiving a modest stash from Tezcatlipoca. She was pleasantly surprised to see something not too unlike her own world.]
D'you mind if I smoke? It helps calm me down. [And if the people in this building had issues with her indoor smoking habits, they didn't say anything. Nothing that can't be fixed by propping the window.]
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The blonde laughs a little sheepishly at that.]
Yes, sorry again. I ... tend to react a little overtly sometimes ...
[That's putting it mildly.
In the end Alice turns to the door, making sure it still semi-shuts enough to keep it from just wafting back open or something. Then she finds a chair not so different from the one in her room to sit on, giving her head a bit of a shake at Jade's question.]
I don't mind at all.
[As she sits though Alice looks curious.]
Pardon me ... is it tobacco?
[She's only really begun to understand now that one can smoke other things. It's a whole new concept for her.]
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It's fine. Guess that's two doors I gotta fix recently.
[Since she did offer to help fix the broken door at the orphanage, when she had accompanied Yuri in delivering some supplies to those affected by the recent attack. It wasn't the first time she had to replace someone's door. Knowing her luck, it probably won't be the last. But hey, it gives her something to do, and that's what's important.
[Once she pushes open the window, she prepares the pipe accordingly. Her method is a bit different from the one she'd seen done here, with Jade crumbling up the leaves of the plant with a bit of lavender to give it something of a floral essence when she lights it with some matches (fascinating as Tezcatlipoca's zippo was, she much preferred something more similar to the firetwigs she's familiar with).
[With a smoky sigh, she sits back down on the bed, facing the chair Alice has settled down in.]
Not quite. It's Peacewe- [She pauses.] Well, I guess they just call it "weed" here. It's not quite what I'm used to, but... same effect, really.
[She takes a moment to pull a breath of smoke from the pipe before releasing it, the scent noticeably different from regular tobacco, coupled with her own personal touch to the batch she'd received.]
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Frankly watching Jade load up her pipe is almost as therapeutic as anything. Is that strange? Maybe. It's so methodically done it makes her think of how she relaxes by cleaning her blades and the like.
The lavender is a nice scent though. The weed itself is ... unique to say the least. Alice isn't quite sure if she likes it or hates it. She takes in the scent without complaint though, a thoughtful look on her face. Then she smiles a little.]
When I was little I lived with my great-grandfather for a long time. He liked pipes now and then but only tobacco and generally when I wasn't around. I rather liked the scent of it though.
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Ha. Tobacco's all right, though not my first choice. Peaceweed's been more effective in reducing my Fever.
[Which. She is going to have to get used to again, now that she's Harmonized and can feel her magic slowly return, and with it comes the "fun" drawbacks. But she learned how to manage it back then, and she can do it again.
[After a moment, her eyes flick to Alice before tilting the pipe in her fingers. Judging from what she just said, it doesn't sound like she's ever smoked before, but...]
Wanna try? It's not addictive or anything.
[Jade would know.]
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Jade's offer draws her attention back though. Her brows rise upward as she considers. She had had a long talk with Tezca over the need to unwind. Alcohol was something she would have to approach in dosed portions so she hadn't considered it very deeply. And smoking anything, well ...
After a moment of chewing over it Alice ends up standing and approaching Jade. She hadn't looked at the pipe very closely but now she can admire it's craftsmanship and appearance.]
I'm not sure I would know how.
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[She doesn't know too much about Alice, or if such a thing would suit her fancy. But she does seem to be the sort who could potentially benefit from the habit every now and then.]
Oh, it's easy. You just relax, take in a good breath, and then breathe it out. Just make sure you don't swallow the smoke, or you're in for a bad time.
[Jade is still holding out the decorated pipe in case Alice changes her mind.]
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As long as you don't mind then.
[She's careful about how she does take the pipe. The last thing she wants is to break it in her clumsiness. She doesn't waste time in just eyeballing it either, she let's go of a breath to relax herself and then does as instructed.
Deep breath in. Then another out. Could she hold it for longer? Probably. The wisps of smoke come largely past her lips and she's doing pretty well to be honest. She has a bit of a contemplative look on her face much like someone trying a new flavor for the first time.
Then she hits the end when she does manage to inadvertently swallow. At least she's quick enough to give Jade her pipe back before she turns her back on the other woman to not so delicately hack up a lung into the crook of her elbow. It sounds a little raspy but it's by far one of the easier coughs Alice has ever had.
When she looks back with her eyes a touch teary she notes cheerfully through the last bits of her huffing:]
That started out fairly pleasant.
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First time can be pretty rough for some people, but you get used to it.
[As Jade says this, she takes another drag, not caring that Alice just had her mouth there seconds ago. It's not her first time of puff, puff, pass, at any rate.
[Exhaling the smoke through her nostrils, Jade closes her eyes a moment and leans back, resting her shoulder against the side of the bedframe.]
Not as strong as the stuff I usually take, but it'll give a good buzz for a while.
[Which she can start to feel in her muscles, in her skin. In her brain. It's a soothing high, not as intense as the type of Dust she used to sniff to escape her troubles instead. At one point, she'd be getting the shakes without the stuff, but these days...
[That itch for another fix just doesn't haunt her so much anymore.]
If you feel a strange tickle or lightheadedness, don't worry. That's normal. Should probably sit down, though.
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Oh! Yes, excuse me.
[She doesn't mean to sit down in that poor chair like she's suddenly exhausted but the coughing took it out of her a little. Though frankly now that she's done coughing her lungs still feel pretty good. Far better than any of her childhood coughing fits anyhow. No thickness, no trying to clear her airways.
She leans back in the chair shortly after once the feeling finally begins to trickle over her.]
Is the stuff you usually use very much stronger?
[Ah, maybe Jade doesn't want to delve into that though.]
I apologize. What knowledge I have of these sorts of things is all based around the drug trade. There was a fairly notorious ring ... it wasn't very pretty, I'll say that.
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[After giving the tin a shake, she hands it over to Alice to maybe help with the coughing. But Jade feels her mien grow somber at Alice question, then apology.]
No, it's fine.
[Her expression forced neutral, she deliberates how much is appropriate to share, before she shrugs. Because fuck it.]
You're not too far off. To be honest, I used to be pretty bad about that kinda thing. I wish I could say it's ancient history, but...
Hm. Well, it wasn't too long ago that I was practically sniffing Dust for breakfast.
[But Jade doesn't quite have the disposition of a former Dust addict, or even someone who'd recently gone cold turkey. If she were considered a junky at any point in her life, she hides it pretty damn well.]
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Mm, I understand. A little at least. There were many who retreated to the sewer systems during the war when they were displaced. The community there was unfortunately easy prey for abuse.
[Another sip and she offers the tin back with a slight smile.]
With support many of them did well in the end though.
[She doesn't delve into Jade's own usage. That's neither here nor there as far as Alice is concerned.]
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[Jade takes back the water, pausing before taking a drink for herself. Between the buzz from the pipe and the brandy she had before going to bed earlier, she probably should hydrate a little.]
Not much help for the displaced in Nehrim, unfortunately. Though not without folks trying.
[Didn't help her reticence towards idealism and philanthropy any.]
What kinda support did they get? [Jade asks, maybe in an attempt to avoid her sordid history of bad habits at the moment.]
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[Alice looks somewhat pained for a moment. The stuff Jade shared is started to hit her head and she's sinking back into her chair to cope. It's not bad by any means just ... different.]
While I believe in the mission of war relief completely I do admit there are flaws with it and gaps. There is only so much one section of the army can do. I do admit I try on my own as well though.
[There too though she is only one noble and not even the head of her family. Well technically she is for the moment but ...]
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War relief... We had people do shit like that in my country, too. Didn't always end well. Heard about some... particularly gruesome incidents that happened in villages between the locals and the humanitarian efforts. Mistrust and all that, I guess.
[Despite her words, a small, wry smile forms, before Jade finishes off what's left of her pipe.]
That is to say... I've seen that war relief can be just as dangerous as fighting in a battlefield. I respect the effort, even if it wasn't always extended to people like me.
[Though perhaps some of the outlanders wouldn't have hated her half-Aeterna heritage as much as the Nehrimese. Jade rarely ever got close enough to know for sure.]
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It does come with the territory, yes. I was once told that the people expect action and correction of their problems before trust can be given. Blankets and food lines can only do so much and real systemic change is difficult to say the least.
[She sighs out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding there. It feels strange to be so at ease. Her gaze drifts around the room a moment but it's ... distant. Her mind has floated off to the moments before she left home, that day spent hunched over the radio receiver in a room separate from everyone else but intimately connected through the static-filled voices through the speaker.]
Sometimes there are those people who like a flower in the ground are stepped on too often and can't find the will to raise themselves up in time. They look to society at first, they cry for help and no help comes. They are trampled again and again and eventually they either die or they say, "No more! I won't take this!" and they fight back.
I don't blame them for that fight.