Jade (the Prophetess) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dreamflowers) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
kenoslogs2024-02-25 05:33 pm
dreamflowers) wrote in kenoslogs2024-02-25 05:33 pm
[closed] you keep dreaming and dark scheming
WHO: Jade and Alice L. Malvin (a_noble_flame)
WHAT: Just some late night night-terrors, no big d.
WHEN: Late February/Emru.
WHERE: Springstar; Heliopolis dorms.
WARNINGS: PTSD and all that fun stuff. Will update if necessary.
[To say that the Prophetess' arrival was ill-timed would be quite an understatement. Not only had she made very little use of herself during the chaos of the attack shortly after clawing her way out of the ground, but her lack of power made her virtually useless, anyways.
[The decision to Harmonize wasn't devoid of hesitation, though. In the end, Jade knew she had made her decision before she even accepted it. Sure, she could have remained on the fence and run, concluding that the problems of this world had nothing to do with her. Except for the grim reality is that it did, and still does. Much as she hates it, hates her damned world, the fact is that she fought tooth and nail trying to save it at one point. Now is no different.
[Of course, such a decision also didn't come without consequence. Everything has a price, including the power she intended to reclaim -- something which she had since accepted several moons ago, back when she had first washed ashore on a foreign country with a sickness that was slowly killing her.
[Fortunately, she's spared from having to endure the "Journey to the Water" again in order to tame her magic reawakening within her, but it still hits her just as hard in other ways. The headaches, the pain, the voices and the mirages.
(as soon as it's out, we'll put it in the trough)
[Nightmares are nothing new, but they feel more visceral than the had in the last couple of weeks. Painful and real, like their presence echoes in this very room. First comes the paralysis, then the whispers and the callous reminders.
(you're too weak - you always were)
[This time, it's an ocean. An icy chill flooding her senses as she sinks deeper and deeper into the black; so freezing it burns every fiber of her body and soul.
(the salt corrodes your skin)
[Can't breathe.
(and the water filling your lungs is cold)
[Dying.
(but you still haven't found it, child... have you?)
[At some point, she must have stopped breathing, because she truly does feel as though some parts of her have shattered, rather than simply being entangled by the sweat-coated sheets of her dorm bed. The rasp dryness of her throat burns from hyperventilating as a chill shatters her nervous system.
[Soon, what few newcomers were still housed in the Heliopolis dorms are awakened in the middle of the night by screams of bloody murder once Jade finds her own voice again. But in her mind, she is still in that dark, frozen, all-consuming ocean. Drowning. Dying.]
a_noble_flame)WHAT: Just some late night night-terrors, no big d.
WHEN: Late February/Emru.
WHERE: Springstar; Heliopolis dorms.
WARNINGS: PTSD and all that fun stuff. Will update if necessary.
[To say that the Prophetess' arrival was ill-timed would be quite an understatement. Not only had she made very little use of herself during the chaos of the attack shortly after clawing her way out of the ground, but her lack of power made her virtually useless, anyways.
[The decision to Harmonize wasn't devoid of hesitation, though. In the end, Jade knew she had made her decision before she even accepted it. Sure, she could have remained on the fence and run, concluding that the problems of this world had nothing to do with her. Except for the grim reality is that it did, and still does. Much as she hates it, hates her damned world, the fact is that she fought tooth and nail trying to save it at one point. Now is no different.
[Of course, such a decision also didn't come without consequence. Everything has a price, including the power she intended to reclaim -- something which she had since accepted several moons ago, back when she had first washed ashore on a foreign country with a sickness that was slowly killing her.
[Fortunately, she's spared from having to endure the "Journey to the Water" again in order to tame her magic reawakening within her, but it still hits her just as hard in other ways. The headaches, the pain, the voices and the mirages.
(as soon as it's out, we'll put it in the trough)
[Nightmares are nothing new, but they feel more visceral than the had in the last couple of weeks. Painful and real, like their presence echoes in this very room. First comes the paralysis, then the whispers and the callous reminders.
(you're too weak - you always were)
[This time, it's an ocean. An icy chill flooding her senses as she sinks deeper and deeper into the black; so freezing it burns every fiber of her body and soul.
(the salt corrodes your skin)
[Can't breathe.
(and the water filling your lungs is cold)
[Dying.
(but you still haven't found it, child... have you?)
[At some point, she must have stopped breathing, because she truly does feel as though some parts of her have shattered, rather than simply being entangled by the sweat-coated sheets of her dorm bed. The rasp dryness of her throat burns from hyperventilating as a chill shatters her nervous system.
[Soon, what few newcomers were still housed in the Heliopolis dorms are awakened in the middle of the night by screams of bloody murder once Jade finds her own voice again. But in her mind, she is still in that dark, frozen, all-consuming ocean. Drowning. Dying.]
no subject
War relief... We had people do shit like that in my country, too. Didn't always end well. Heard about some... particularly gruesome incidents that happened in villages between the locals and the humanitarian efforts. Mistrust and all that, I guess.
[Despite her words, a small, wry smile forms, before Jade finishes off what's left of her pipe.]
That is to say... I've seen that war relief can be just as dangerous as fighting in a battlefield. I respect the effort, even if it wasn't always extended to people like me.
[Though perhaps some of the outlanders wouldn't have hated her half-Aeterna heritage as much as the Nehrimese. Jade rarely ever got close enough to know for sure.]
no subject
It does come with the territory, yes. I was once told that the people expect action and correction of their problems before trust can be given. Blankets and food lines can only do so much and real systemic change is difficult to say the least.
[She sighs out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding there. It feels strange to be so at ease. Her gaze drifts around the room a moment but it's ... distant. Her mind has floated off to the moments before she left home, that day spent hunched over the radio receiver in a room separate from everyone else but intimately connected through the static-filled voices through the speaker.]
Sometimes there are those people who like a flower in the ground are stepped on too often and can't find the will to raise themselves up in time. They look to society at first, they cry for help and no help comes. They are trampled again and again and eventually they either die or they say, "No more! I won't take this!" and they fight back.
I don't blame them for that fight.