kenoslogs | 2024 catch-all

[ It takes all types in Kenos, and sometimes those types like to hang out in sketchy places for information. Or market research. Either way, ]

Ah, yes, Amos—

[ Sebastian laughs as he pulls his hand away after the shake, though there is a prickle of curiosity that lingers. “Unattached”? He’s not sure what that means at all, but he’ll save the question in favor of the topic at hand. He might get a better answer once they’ve carried on with the conversation a bit more, after all. ]

He was also one of the first to arrive here in Kenos. In fact, his tenure is a bit longer, in a way, for an even smaller handful of us were in another place before. [ Sebastian waves his hand lightly, as if to dismiss the thought. Because he is. Don’t worry about this one, Demeisen,,, ] But you needn’t worry about that. That place has not been relevant in the slightest, so that part seems to be just odd coincidence.

[ He takes another languid drag from the pipe to punctuate the conversation, then shrugs. ]

But as I am sure you saw, he is a rather straightforward, taciturn fellow. If you have remaining questions, I am at least happy to answer.

[I roll my eyes every time either of them takes a drag from their pipe. They’re so fake…]

[Demeisen raises an eyebrow, a little intrigued to hear that some of the most senior of this generation’s shard-bearers hailed from “another place”—one that, by context, he assumes was not their home. Sebastian seems disinclined to elaborate, however, and it really does sound more like a curiosity than anything else, so Demeisen lets the subject slide by.]

He was, [Demeisen agrees,] but then I wasn’t especially keen on sticking around the Tree to question him when I hadn’t so much as seen another person yet. My patience for that kind of thing has its limits.

[One reason why he’d done his info-gathering across various different establishments and from a plethora of different people. At least in a crowded bar, he could listen in on surrounding conversations while maintaining his own.]

On the subject of the Tree, though—he mentioned it did more than just spit out new shard-bearers, sometimes. Said it tries to talk to people.

[Though he’s learned things about Kenos and shard-bearers and the conflict between the Zenith and Meridian factions, he’s yet to learn anything of substance about the Tree of Life from random locals.]

You know anything about that?

[ yes please look at their Normal Human Behavior, everyone. very believable. ]

Ah, only what I have heard secondhand, I am afraid. It seems more inclined to “talk” when someone dies—dissipates, rather—and is in the process of reviving. I do not make a habit of dying, and so I have not heard it personally.

[ Casual shade to the repeat offenders… Which, honestly, is mostly Silco that he’s thinking about. His master has terrible, humorous luck. ]

So, in that respect, you may have to chat with others more than I… But from my understanding “talk” is not quite the right word. From what others have explained, it is more vague and is conveyed through imagery and sensation over words. On occasion you will find that you experience things that I would call “visions”, and the popular theory is that they come from the Tree, but I would not disclude other options, personally… But I am also a skeptical sort when it comes to such things, I admit.

[ He’s also not the Tree’s biggest fan considering he’s still holding a grudge from his first few months here, but. No need to get into that. Surely, that’s not related (it is). ]

I apologize if that is not what you wished to know. [ He says, having given a long explanation anyways. ] I would have made a recommendation for someone who would be happy to explain more, but alas, he has recently left us yet again.

[Given Demeisen’s own tendency towards skepticism, he won’t judge Sebastian at all for being doubtful of the origin of these “visions”. As far as most of the locals seem to be concerned, the Tree is simply a life-giving entity that has no complex motives, save perhaps vague protective desires concerning those currently living in Kenos. It seems to be an uncomplicated, benevolent deity figure. To him, that seems awfully convenient.

What kinds of messages are people receiving from this god when they must be revived? Amos had suggested the Tree might have thoughts about him fully harmonizing with Zenith; what kind of thoughts might this deity be expected to have?

Well, it hardly matters now. Once again he’s struck out on finding a shard-bearer with any actual experience with this mysterious tree, so he simply moves on, judging this to be a dead end with his current companion. There’s no shortage of other things he’d like to know, in any case.]

The fellow died? [Said with the same tone as someone asking “he went on a trip?”] Or are people known to just vanish, here?

The latter, but I would not be surprised if it were actually the former... At least largely speaking.

[ Sebastian shrugs, since until relatively recently, he’d pretty much assumed that most cases ended in death. Perhaps their Shards were reabsorbed, perhaps Aetos took them into their custody, who knows? He didn’t exactly care other than it being a curiosity. However, it’s the same person that had changed his mind, funnily enough. ]

That fellow was actually here, disappeared for a bit, and claimed to have returned to his world in that time. Decades passed for him, apparently, and then he found himself brought back. I suppose it could be true, in a sense, as some of the other oddities about this world have made it clear that there are multiple versions of a world, at the very least?

[ There’s a question in his tone because that’s actually not something he’s that familiar with either… Sebastian may be very intelligent, but he’s also from the late 1800s. The idea of multiple realities, parallel dimensions, and other similar scifi concepts are harder for him to grasp. However. That may not even matter because— ]

However, fond of the man as I was, his tether to reality was not always the best… So it could have been a vision that he was already inclined to believe just as much.

[Say no more, Sebastian. Demeisen is well-acquainted enough for the both of them with the concept of multiple realities and other sci-fi things, and he takes in the other man’s musings with a completely unmoved expression. None of this weirds him out at all; if anything, the idea that he’s found himself in another reality is probably the most straightforward thing about any of this.]

And this vision could have come from the Tree, or from elsewhere.

[He presents this possibility with the tone of a confirmation: Sebastian’s alternative to this vanished man actually returning to his own home. None of these options bother Demeisen, but they do imply different things. If the man was truly returning home, for instance, then some power there would need to return him, and then act again decades later to bring him once more to this reality. Not impossible, but definitely a bit of a backwards way to achieve a fairly straightforward objective: updating the individual in this reality with new data.]

And did he mention his experience of it at all, when he returned? The transition from this reality to the other. Memories from his time here.

[He takes another drag from his pipe, mostly to give Sebastian a chance to actually answer his question, but he has another query that he follows up with almost immediately.]

What about you? You well-tethered? Is this place [—he makes a sweeping motion with his pipe, gesturing at the establishment around them—] real, do you think? You’ve been here a year. Surely you must have some opinion.

..That he did, but it is why I note that his connection to reality was not the best. At least for my measures.

[ Sebastian sighs, and his expression turns a bit difficult as he relays Voryn's experience. This is a case where he's tempted to do so verbatim, if only because he couldn't make total sense of what Voryn had been talking about. Part of it was just a difference between worlds, he's sure, but the other part, well. Demeisen will see what Sebastian means, he thinks. ]

He "died", in a sense, but he claimed to have spoken to God and been given such power. His body lay within a mountain, but his soul lay elsewhere, where he felt as if he were dreaming. In his dream, he could view the world outside, and thus when the time was right, he took control over his dream to allow him to wake—to return to his physical body. But this process was not a short one. From how he said it, I had the impression that he had only just awoken.

[ so, yeah. voryn gonna voryn. miss u boo ]

[ But after his explanation, Sebastian is rather caught off guard by the question that follows. It's again another gap in experience due to the differences of time. He doesn't have the context to wonder about what Demeisen does. It's clear from the question in his tone as he parrots one word. ]

...Real?

[ His brow knits together as he at least considers it, but it's clearly for the first time. ]

Well, yes. I have been given no reason to think it is not real. A marvel, certainly, but I experience everything as I normally would.

[Demeisen is content enough to agree that the story Sebastian relates is a bit fantastical, and does sound rather more like someone’s dream than what he’d originally been imagining, which would be this person waking up in their original home and body and going about their days as usual. He can see easily enough why Sebastian might think of it as a vision rather than reality.

But what of their present circumstances? Are they really any less strange?]

Everything here seems as it should be, then?

[Demeisen’s gaze fixes intently on his companion; he is truly curious to hear his perspective on all this.]

The way you departed your own reality; the laws governing this one; the little [—he wiggles his fingers—] quirks that come of being a shard-bearer.

[The magic. The way certain parts of him just don’t work, seemingly without cause—but maybe Sebastian hasn’t experienced that. After all, he does seem like an ordinary human man. (lmao)]

...Well. That is the pickle, somewhat. It is so far outside of my experiences that what should or should not be is something I do not know about, really.

[ He makes a thoughtful noise, and with a little sigh, he decides that two pieces of information are likely to be helpful in clarifying what he means. He prefers to reveal both more elegantly than this, but he also thinks it'll be more helpful to explain his point of view. ]

For one, the place and time I am from was a very mundane one. England in 1889 was not dissimilar from Highstorm in many ways, but without any of the magic, the Shards, or even anyone but humans in it. Electricity has only just been invented, so in many ways, what I know from my world is considered quite "behind" many others. Meditations on reality are a line of thought that is something I have only found in Kenos, really, save for the theological sense.

[ Which— ]

And two, I am not unfamiliar with the idea of traversing realms, for it was part of my "work". The world I am from was populated largely by humans, but I am from a realm quite separate from it that is not. I am not human, you see, and I am in fact exceptionally long-lived. So, due to that, the idea that what rules govern one realm may not govern another are not odd to me either.

[ Another light sigh follows, but it comes with a shrug. ]

So, in short, there is nothing that has caught my attention as being illogical, at least by what Kenos determines to be logic.

I wouldn’t have guessed, [Demeisen comments, eyebrows raised with what appears to be modest interest.

The news that his current speaking companion is not human comes to him as a mild surprise. After all, he not only looks human, but also scans convincingly as one by the various readings he’s been getting from the other man. What oddities he’d registered, he’d assumed were likely some quirk of Sebastian’s particular branch of pan-humanity. He has, after all, never heard of England, likely because the place is apparently mired in a stage of civilizational development that makes it completely irrelevant to the rest of the developed galaxy.

This news does make Sebastian’s lack of any kind of high rather more suspicious, though.]

I ask because this place reads not unlike a playground someone might set up if they wanted to live out some heroic fantasy with their pals: be the chosen one, save the universe, that kind of thing. Or make a new one, as the case may be. [A small nod, here, to his Zenith buddy.] Memory mods to block out aspects of reality wouldn’t be uncommon there, but there’s no fucking way I’d have plunked myself into a sim like this.

[And the idea that someone else might borrow his mind-state for their own entertainment is too bizarre to devote any real thought to. It just wouldn’t be worth the attention they’d get from his fully-endowed self, even if they managed to scoop his soul out from under the ship’s proverbial nose.

He shakes his head, putting the thought out of his mind.]

The “separate” place you come from was quite different, I assume.

You are not supposed to.

[ Sebastian concedes to his surprise like it's a compliment. He gives a little nod of his head and a pleased little smile, but takes another leisurely drag from the pipe as he listens. His brow knits together lightly as Demeisen describes the fantasy, but then more at "memory mods" and "sims".

They're not totally new words to him, but he's only ever overhead them in Kowloon and mostly as snippets. It gets him to hum thoughtfully, and he pulls his pipe away as he looks at Demeisen a bit differently. It's as if he's trying to read something from his appearance, but admittedly, even he's not completely sure what he might see that might be more insightful. ]

Ah— I believe I understand some of the disconnect though not the full context. I have at least heard of those words before, but I barely know what they mean...

[ He frowns, since he hates to admit his ignorance in any respect, but. This one does seem more fair than most. ]

The place I come from is indeed very different from the human realm, but in this respect they are woefully similar. Actually, my realm is much worse in this regard, really, but I have taken great efforts to learn from humanity... Still, there are gaps that often appear here in Kenos. Your everyday is significantly more advanced than my own was, I would venture. So, I do apologize, but you will have to explain a bit further for me. What would a "memory mod" or a "sim" entail?

[Hmm. Sebastian hasn’t really elaborated anything at all about the place he came from, has he? Or what he actually is, Demeisen notices. That’s fine, though; it’s not of critical importance right now, not when the question of this reality and this world looms much more saliently in the midst of their conversation.]

I don’t suppose you’d have those, no.

[Obviously a civilization that’s only just starting to figure out electricity won’t have anything like the sort of scenario he’s thinking of. They probably haven’t even invented computers yet, much less figured out how to integrate a mind with one.]

Sim: simulation. A reality housed inside a computer, run using its processing power. [There’s a very real chance his companion still isn’t understanding him, but there’s a limit to how much Demeisen is willing to dumb things down, even when he’s trying to be accommodating. Idly, he waves a hand again at the bar around them.] It’s what I thought all this might be. Sprouting up at the base of a giant tree like a fucking mushroom, after seeing everything in my observable vicinity get annihilated. Thought someone might’ve transferred my mind-state here—maybe even just copied it. Not that any of that should be possible without my knowing, but thus the memory mods.

[He taps one temple with his free hand.]

Mind-state is just data. All you have to do is edit it when you bring someone into the sim, turn off the memories you don’t want, add ones you do. Sort of thing helps immersion, done voluntarily, but it’s not hard to do without someone’s say-so, if you’re of an unscrupulous persuasion. Trivially easy, actually.

Ah—

[ It’s an “ah” of recognition, since at least thanks to Kenos (and Amos), Sebastian has learned about computers. Not much, granted, but he at least knows they’re something that exists and the basics of them. They’re still a bit beyond his imagination for what they can truly do, but he’s not totally ignorant, at least. ]

Interesting. I have not heard that theory, rather obviously. I have nothing to refute it except my own belief that the differences would be noticeable, and that is hardly solid proof.

[ He makes a thoughtful noise and cants his head lightly. He falls into a brief silence as he considers it more, even taking a drag of the pipe as he does so, but he won’t privately meditate on it long while they’re having a conversation. ]

Well, where does the data come from, I suppose would be my question. Extracting memories, for example.

[ He has a guess just because he’s sharp, but he won’t make the assumption. ]

[Demeisen offers no rebuttal to Sebastian’s skepticism; he has his own doubts that the man would in fact be able to tell the difference, but there’s no reason to belabour the point when the entire issue is that it would be impossible to tell either way. Instead, he considers the question.]

Essentially, it’s as simple as reading it.

[He has no intention of attempting to explain the technology involved to this person, both because of his unfamiliarity with even modestly advanced tech, and because he simply doesn’t need to know. The Culture has long benefited from a bit of an aura of mystery when it comes to what the civilization is truly capable of.]

A very rough analogy would be to imagine a person’s mind-state as a journal, copied in its entirety at a precise moment in time. Every letter, every mark, every errant scribble or smudge represents the person’s thoughts, feelings, experiences and so on. Whether the mind is bio-chemical, mechanical, electronic, whatever—

[Demeisen slices his free hand through the air.]

Doesn’t matter. Complexity of the mind would affect the difficulty of accessing and parsing the information, but not the broad mechanics. So: you could read the journal easily, but it wouldn’t be much harder to edit it, make additions, or rip pages out. And of course—if you wanted—you could also reproduce it, even if the original still existed.

Well, it is that "whatever" that I am interested in, in fact. Since in that regard, I assume I am a rather special case... And so, it could help with this simulation theory, I suppose.

[ It does mean being rather blunt about what he is, which is a shame, but the larger question of Demeisen's theory is more intriguing than his own playfulness. He gestures towards himself generally as he speaks. ]

I am something rather beyond the biological, personally. I take up a biological form for convenience, but many of the structures are just for show. The brain, for example. I possess one, but only because in the event I were to sustain a head injury, it would be quite odd if nothing were there. But it does not function in the slightest.

[ He's completely sure about that, because most of what he even knows about the human brain is now from his studies in Kenos. The science of the late 19th century when it came to a brain's functionality seemed rudimentary to him in comparison now... But it's also not as if it particularly mattered in this case. It's not like having it truly function would do anything for him or help bolster the illusion of his humanity. ]

So, it is more my curiosity how it would be accessed, in that case. Not impossible, presumably, but that sort of data would be... Well, I assume it is more difficult to access in this case.

[Demeisen eyes Sebastian curiously as he explains, tapping one fingernail idly against the stem of his pipe. Strange that he says “beyond the biological.” Demeisen doesn’t entirely know what that might mean in this context, but he’s guessing it isn’t anything as simple as Sebastian simply having synthetic enhancements.

If the higher sensory functionality from his effectors was online, he’d take a look at the activity levels in the brain in question, see for himself if it was really just a lump of meat—but like a great many of his capabilities, that particular one has been denied him ever since he crawled out of the dirt beneath the Tree. He’ll have to take the man’s word for it.]

That’s less than usual, [he admits.] Still, not exactly unheard of. Plenty of eminently strange life forms in the wide, wonderful galaxy. Centralized brain is an optional feature, as I understand it.

[He shrugs, apparently unbothered by the revelation of Sebastian’s fake human brain.]

Case like yours might make it harder, though. I couldn’t really say with any authority; been short on most of my faculties since I arrived. Can’t take a peek, myself.

Is it? How curious... Matters of the galaxy are also rather new to me, so do pardon my ignorance. Kenos has done wonders to educate me on how vast and diverse the world could be, but so much of it is still very theoretical for me.

[ Sebastian makes another light, thoughtful noise, and there's a bit of lightness to it too. Mention of the galaxy does spark just a bit of his wonder for that great beyond. He'd been amazed over a year ago to learn that humanity would eventually set foot on the moon, and it's been similarly fascinating to learn just how far thinking beings could go beyond even that.

(Or, the demon has a rare, pure interest in space travel, wow.)

Though he does give Demeisen a nod of understanding at that last part. ]

Ah, you have yet to Harmonize yet, I take in? In that case you will at least find those will return to you when you do. Most likely, at least. There are some things that do not return, but it is somewhat arbitrary... Yet I have heard of nothing important being so blocked, at least.

Consider it pardoned, [he says magnanimously.

Being not the most adroit when it comes to noticing or anticipating others’ emotions, Demeisen actually finds the faint bleed of wonder filtering off the other man somewhat helpful. It’s informative, at the very least. Whatever world Sebastian hailed from originally, clearly getting from there to Earth didn’t involve seeing much of the galaxy.

Even so, Sebastian is doing him a service. What he lacks in knowledge about the wider reality, he at least makes up for in knowledge of this one.]

I’ve heard that before. [The expression on Demeisen’s face is a little pinched, his smile coolly dissatisfied. It’s one more thing about this place that makes it seem just a little unreal: these limitations that seem set in place just because.] Could be you’re right—though not about the most important bits. [His grimace speaks, again, of displeasure, but the feeling coming from him is laced with unease.] Not housed in this unit—this body. Conveniently for whoever wants us here, I expect.

[ The way that Demeisen phrases it is a bit perplexing, but at least that last sentiment is one he understands perfectly. ]

Very much so… I am subject to some additional restrictions that Harmonization did not fix myself, so I also suspect that it is a matter of convenience.

[ But naturally, that makes him all the more curious about the question of what Demeisen is. He’s talked to a handful of others who have been similarly afflicted, but the common denominator amongst them all was sheer power. Sebastian is hardly one to judge a book by its cover, considering his own penchant for taking on a less threatening form, but. ]

Though, I hope you will forgive me the slight rudeness of asking… But with how you talk of your body, I am curious indeed. What are you, sir?

[Ah—so this inhuman gentleman from the mysterious other world is experiencing a bit of inconvenience in that area as well. The fact that he readily admits that not all of Demeisen’s capabilities might return inspires rather a lack of confidence, which doesn’t hurry him at all in his decision of whether to Harmonize to one side or the other, or to none at all.

(But of course, none is not truly an option. Not when his faculties are so severely hampered, even considering just the limits of this humanoid body.)

Even so, he doesn’t have any fear in divulging what he truly is.]

Ship avatar, [he says, and then, considering that this might not be immediately obvious to Sebastian,] Starship, that is. I’m the passing-for-human face of the Culture warship Falling Outside The Normal Moral Constraints.

[A ship that, according to local wisdom, is now obliterated into nothingness… or near-nothingness, if one wishes to believe the more optimistic view of Springstar residents. Demeisen isn’t necessarily ready to believe this to be the truth, but whatever the case may be, the ship certainly isn’t anywhere near here.]

So unless the Tree is going to squeeze out my better half at some point, [—all one-point-six kilometres of it—] the important bits are not going to be in evidence.

Oh.

[ Just “oh”, at first, because this does put their conversation so far into a new context that has it making more sense, but then there’s everything else. The idea of a starship isn’t new to him, since he and Amos had talked briefly about the idea of travel in space, and naturally humans would need a ship to do so. When he and Amos had talked about it, he’d thought of it as the logical progression of humanity’s penchant for exploration. From caravels to starships, naturally.

However, it’d never come up that such a ship might be… alive, he supposed it must be. At least that would be the case by Sebastian’s definition, since it meant that this ship had a soul. How else would he be here as a Shard-Bearer otherwise? ]

How fascinating…

[ His wonder returns, though there’s a clear, more scholarly interest behind it this time. He’s tempted to truly look and see Demeisen’s soul for what it is, but… He’ll wait for that. There will be a better opportunity eventually than in a drug den, surely. ]

But I see the issue, I believe. So, yes, I do doubt that you will be made whole in that sense… [ He hums out a note, then laughs a little at himself. ] My, I have so many questions that I scarcely know where to start. Is it stifling to be in such a form?

[The surprise and curiosity—easily felt through the Aspect bond, even if in only a muted fashion—is more like what Demeisen had been expecting when he mentioned this fact to Amos shortly after his arrival. Somewhat ironic that that Sebastian, who isn’t even a human being, is more obviously taken aback by the idea of a ship avatar than Amos the Regular Human Guy.

Though it does mean, of course, that this fellow is going to want him to explain more. As Demeisen is happy to chat, however, and also interested in learning some things himself, this doesn’t seem like any real trial.]

Not in the way you might think. This body is mine—I made it. [The ship made it. Whatever.] And the me that’s here is smaller than the ship in more than just size and power. This unit doesn’t have a Mind. [The capital letter in this word is audible.] So I am, for the time being, much more comparable to a person than when I am truly representing the ship itself.

[This is giving me Quetz trying to explain her situation vibes, help…

Demeisen regards Sebastian curiously right back.]

Do you find it stifling? To be limited despite having harmonized already?

[ Sebastian’s brow is knit together in concentration as Demeisen explains, but his attention is sharp and interested. There are some parts that he understands without any issue, such as Demeisen making his own body, but others, such as that capital-M Mind are still a bit perplexing. From context and what they’ve talked about so far, he can at least make a guess (and he’s not terribly far off), but it’s still very much outside his wheelhouse. ]

I believe I understand… Or at least enough so. If you are in this form, you are reduced in the first place, even without Kenos’s meddling?

[ His choice of words is probably answer enough, but he elaborates with a nod. ]

…I do, yes. I have grown accustomed to it, as I have been in this state for over a year by now, but there are very useful things I miss. Most notably, there was no manmade weapon that could truly injure me. I could make a show of it, since the body does get injured, but it was trivial to simply fix any damage, no matter how severe.

[ He sighs longingly ]

I imagine I need not explain how such a thing would come in handy when fighting this little war.

About the size of it.

[Demeisen’s agreement comes easily enough, despite the low undercurrent of disgruntlement at his situation that he cannot entirely ignore. Probably no one in this world is going to understand just how truly powerful—martially, mentally, and otherwise—his ship body is (was?), and he’s not especially invested in filling in all the details regardless. It’s largely irrelevant at present anyway, no matter how used he is to him and the ship being connected.

At Sebastian’s description of his missing ability, however, Demeisen raises an eyebrow, tipping his head meaningfully toward his companion.]

Awfully convenient that it’s gone, I’d say. If someone were to want to keep you in line.

[He’s not suggesting these strange little quirks prove that their scenario was set up by some intelligent hand. Demeisen is perfectly aware of how little information he really has about their situation at present, and how data points can easily be misleading in isolation. Still—suffice to say that this whole thing stinks to him, and he’s far from ready to believe either faction’s promise and go along with things like a meek little soldier.]

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