[ PERMANENT. ] a (k)atch-all log for kenos

[dawnlord]

WHO: Set ( redsoil ), Bondrewd ( dawnlord ), Drizzt ( twohand ), et. al
WHAT: i actually can't stand month-by-month logs so i'm gonna crush my boys into one perma-log for anything outside of events
WHERE & WHEN: Listed in comment headers, or under the cut.
WARNINGS: General warnings for violence, vulgarity and unethical science. Will update/comment with warnings!


I struggle so hard w/ month-by-month logs, so y'all have to deal with my weird organization...

— [MARCH | SET] GOT NO SHAME, GOT NO PRIDE

Comments

#justosiristhings

[muchalucha]

[ Quetzalcoatl listens to his story in silence, since it’s obvious right away that this is important enough to not interrupt at all.

It strikes her first as he explains the dynamics of his family just how different their pantheons are. In broad strokes, it’s the same, of course. They’re powerful beings with dominion over everything from nature to abstract concepts. They’re imperfect and flawed, because even with power, they’re still people. But the dynamics that Set describes at the start are much more human than her own pantheon’s.

It wasn’t like they didn’t marry or have children. Most of the gods did, honestly, and it was just the four Tezcatlipocas (though she’d always hate being considered an aspect of him) who were destined to remain bachelors. But the emotion that went with such a thing for humans and for Set simply wasn’t there for them. Marriage or children was almost preordained, a bond that fulfilled a role within the universe of the Azteca rather than a bond of emotion.

But she doesn’t think lesser of him for the difference between their families—No, the story that Set tells (and the part he doesn’t tell) hurts all the more for the fact that he isn’t given that distance. Set’s conflict with Osiris isn’t like her conflict with Tezcatlipoca at all. Rather than their relationship being more akin to a force of nature, a natural cycle of things where they would always be at odds, there’s real, painful betrayal here.

It’s evil, she thinks, and an anger on Set’s behalf builds with each of Osiris’s crimes. By the time he chokes on the last part and his claws dig into her arms, the sting of it isn’t even something she reacts to. He’ll just feel the strong muscle of her arms that’s tight with tension, and though he can’t see her face as he’s folded into her, the anger and upset is almost palpable as it rolls off her. If she possessed her Authority here in Kenos, it surely would have drawn a storm to Springstar above. ]

What he did… All of that is amocualli, great evil. It’s not love.

[ Her voice is still soft, but there’s a lower edge to it. It’s beyond the ideas of tlatlacolli, because it’s a kind of damage that can be repaired or repented for. No one is perfect, and no one is free of the damage to one’s heart that tlatlacolli causes. But amocualli, that’s something that can’t be forgiven. It’s a defect so deep that it can’t be carved out. ]

If he ever crawls out of the roots of the Tree, I’ll kill him. He doesn’t deserve to be a god of life, and I’ll rip that domain away from him before I carve out his heart and his Shard.

[ Were he not clinging to her so tightly, she’d take his face into her hands to demonstrate her sincerity. In lieu of that, her hold relaxes as she forces some of the angry tension away, but it’s so her embrace is softer too. She wants to convey acceptance and love to him, even if her heart is on fire. ]

I’m sorry this happened to you, Set. [ And, just based on how it had come up, with his anguish over being ignored by Nut and how he feared Yima’s indiscriminate love, she can guess— ] And I’m sorry that you had to bear it alone.

[redsoil]

[ She calls it evil, not love. The words feel like a blow, different from any other; a dull, hunched pain that builds within his belly and shoves itself up, up into the space where lungs might dwell, ripping breath from him if he truly needed to draw it. Seizing his shuddering heart in a fist, to clench it so hard he feels faint. Quetzalcoatl knows, in some form, now. She knows, and her condemnation does not arrive upon Set's shoulders — he is not condemned for being repulsive, pathetic, less than a man to allow himself to be led astray. To be devoured by a skilled liar, whom he still,

in some ways,

loved. Shamefully so. Reconciling the image of his generous, kind brother and the madman he had become felt impossible. ( Set knows he drives men to madness, after all. ) ]

— who would have born it for me? With me? I was an idiot.

[ A naive idiot, blindsided. ]

Nobody asked. Nobody wondered. Nobody considered that he could have been the one who ruined everything, it all fell upon me. You know gods are made for particular duties, yes? We are made by our creators, or are creators whom make ourselves, even. But, we do not choose our way. So, if we are made — if we are given roles, and maat, reality itself, expects us to perform them for the functionality of the world —

[ He sighs through his thought. ]

I was made to be alone, Quetzalcoatl.

[muchalucha]

[ As she listens, her grip does relax, since she forces herself to, at least a little. Set might not mind bruising strength any more than she minded his claws, but still… She wants to be gentle with him. He bears his heart before her, and the last thing she wants to do is cause him any more pain than this. It does take her a few moments longer to respond this time, though. What he proclaims is something she wants to deny immediately and vehemently, but she waits and thinks first instead so her words come with more care. ]

Mm, it’s true. We’re given roles to fulfill because the world itself needs us to, yes? When there are humans that believe in us, then we’re made to be what they both need. But…

[ It was a vastly different feeling at the time, but the memory still comes to her. Divinity is powerful, but it wasn’t all-reaching. She had once stared up at an impossible god and declared her nothing, because a god’s power was always derived from their lands and their people. Quetzalcoatl was of neither, and so she could defy even something impossible. It’s probably fitting that Set’s lands weren’t too far off from those because in that, she can find more certainty. ]

The rules of reality, they aren’t so concrete, you know? At least not when you start getting gods talking to other gods, anyways. You’re bound to maat and I’m bound to teotl, but they’re not the same thing. I’m a god of a distant land where all the rules that govern it are different.

[ And at this point, she does pull back from him, but just a little. She can’t resist the urge anymore, because she wants, no, needs to see his face as she says this. When there’s enough space between them, Quetzalcoatl places her hands on either side of his face. She lifts his gaze up to hers so that he’s not just hearing her words, but so he can see the conviction behind them too. But it’s gentle as well. Her hands cradle his face with care, like he’s something precious. That too is her love. ]

Maat has no more sway over me than teotl does over you. So, I can be the one to break your fate while you’re away from it. I will be. [ That simple sentence is said with weight, like she's swearing an oath with divine power behind it. But after a moment to let that sink in, her serious expression does turn to a tender smile. ] Me and everyone else that cares about you here in Kenos too, you know? You don’t have to be alone anymore, not ever.

[redsoil]

[ Not ever? What about when they lead Meridian to victory, and he delivers his promises to those who have received them? What about when he returns to Egypt, and has to know those who share a world with him ( even a potential world — ) are so far beyond his reach. In time and space, both. What if they aren't part of his world at all, and return to their own? He will be alone, then. Even if he is not, for a time.

His hands hook into the ends of her hair, drop low to the warm skin of her waist as he is brought up, to look into her eyes. The weight of her words is unmistakable; a warm thing, but something with the bearing and audacity of a god, and his own instincts cannot deny such an oath. Just because her conviction is spent on him, does not mean he can ignore it any less than Cassian pledging to protect him ( protect? him? what the hell does that even mean! ) or Hayame taking him by the hand to urge him to be better.

He cannot ignore the convictions of those who oppose him, so why is it such a struggle, when that conviction is focused upon him? He feels — difficult, and lethargic. In his throat, a stone-like weight bobs as he swallows coldness down into the root of his ribs and his hands tremble against her. What does one say, when a fellow god pledges something so simple but so deep to another? What can he say, when protest dries up in his mouth and he can do nothing but push his face through the firm hold she has upon it and find the line of her shoulder, hands rising, arms sliding around her to feel the powerful muscle of her back.

Unmistakably, his brother's poison lingers. A curse rooted so deeply within him, powerful because it was made from him and designed to act as shackle and collar. The leash was never attached, though. But, it was there. Waiting. Yet, in Kenos — for as long as possible, he is free from the threat. The potential is there, but at the very least? Quetzalcoatl is at his side. ( Horus, was once at his side. He doesn't know why he keeps thinking of his nephew, either. ) ]

— okay. Okay, I hear you, Quetzalcoatl. I believe you.

[ While tenuous, and fleeting, he accepts her conviction. ]

[muchalucha]

[ It’s easy to push through her hold, because it was only meant to draw his attention up for the sincerity of the moment. She embraces Set again, and it’s as easy as if they were truly siblings. Though considering both of their siblings, maybe that’s why it’s easy. They’re two gods of different lands and different fates, so the world itself couldn’t put them at odds. ]

Good.

[ It’s her simple response first with just a little tone of the teasing, chiding big sister—it’s a ”you had better”, though the threat behind it is still ultimately a playful one. The only consequence he could possibly face at her hands would be a lecture or maybe having a lucha move practiced on him. Her love is simple, but warm and vast.

…Though, it’s not like she doesn’t share the thoughts that go through Set’s mind. It’s a promise she can’t possibly keep, not in the sheer expanse that is their lives. Even if they see Meridian’s dream realized, even in the slight chance that maybe they were from the same world… The Quetzalcoatl that Set is meeting is the Heroic Spirit, not the God. Her spirit will return to the Throne, and she can only hope that her more divine self might peek into the experiences of the smaller one and take what she’s learned.

Still. She might not be able to keep the promise truly forever, but as long as she’s here, she’ll hold that promise close. She’ll be as reliable and steadfast as the sun, so that maybe when the time comes that they have to part ways standing on his own might not be so intimidating. Maybe he can look and consider that even if his hands were bound by maat, the hands of those reaching out to him first might not be.

So, gently, she leans her head against his to rest it there. ]

Just like the sun always looks over the desert, I’ll look after you, Set.