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Entry tags:
- arcane: vander,
- arknights: gavial,
- bastard!!: dark schneider,
- expanse (the): amos burton,
- fire emblem: dimitri a. blaiddyd,
- genshin impact: kaeya alberich,
- genshin impact: zhongli,
- granblue fantasy: eustace,
- legend of zelda (the): link,
- oc: liem talbott,
- orv: dokja kim,
- practical guide to evil: akua sahelian,
- snotgirl: lottie person,
- star wars: cassian andor,
- star wars: jyn erso,
- trigun maximum: vash the stampede
april event, phase one: seeds of unrest đ±
THE BEGINNING
Summertime in Springstar has been on its way out, heralding the arrival of fall; winter has likewise given way to spring in Highstorm - at least, according to the calendar. Yet there is an unseasonable bite on the breeze - one growing as frigid as the mood among Meris and Zenites in their cities. Between Alenrouxâs occupation and talk of âthe Blight,â worries have been on the lips of the citizens with increasing frequency - and with good reason. The reports of plant life dying, of objects crumbling, of people whose bodies are deteriorating are dominating the rumor mills and local papers.
Everything comes to a head early in the second half of Pelu.
After an unusual pocket of commotion in the Seat of the Tribune and the courtyard of Yimaâs manor, an urgent announcement is made on behalf of both cities: both Great Trees have been quarantined, and no one is permitted in either location without clearance. New rumors spread of an âincidentâ that saw those in the immediate vicinity of the Trees rapidly demonstrating symptoms of an illness that was becoming all too easy to identify. It had stricken with frightening speed; not long afterwardâŠ
The unrest had spread into the streets, and it wasnât just about the Blight anymore.
Cetina and Kathova wasted no time in reaching out to the Bearers via Communion to offer them guidance from their leaders and incite them to action.
Everything comes to a head early in the second half of Pelu.
After an unusual pocket of commotion in the Seat of the Tribune and the courtyard of Yimaâs manor, an urgent announcement is made on behalf of both cities: both Great Trees have been quarantined, and no one is permitted in either location without clearance. New rumors spread of an âincidentâ that saw those in the immediate vicinity of the Trees rapidly demonstrating symptoms of an illness that was becoming all too easy to identify. It had stricken with frightening speed; not long afterwardâŠ
The unrest had spread into the streets, and it wasnât just about the Blight anymore.
Cetina and Kathova wasted no time in reaching out to the Bearers via Communion to offer them guidance from their leaders and incite them to action.
SPRINGSTAR: THE ROOT OF THE ISSUE
Day by day, changes unfold that render the city increasingly dangerous...
ROOTS:
Vine-like roots have begun to thread the streets, creeping upon and over buildings, spreading outward from the Tree in Heliopolis. Over the next two weeks, they will continue to grow in size and become more troublesome, slowly blooming ice-like leaves that radiate a sickly glow.- GROWTH: Contrary to the Blightâs normal behaviors, some people and things around clusters of vines or leaves can experience a burst of vitality, growth, and splendor as if transforming to beyond peak condition. In a normal citizen, this may result in an almost manic level of energy, reckless behaviors, and aggression. In objects, they become more durable and efficient, but dangerously so - for example, a stovetop cooks faster but burns uncontrollably hot. In plant life, this results in overgrowth that can overwhelm and choke nearby flora, objects, or even people. Then, they burn out an hour after exposure and immediately succumb to a dire state of Blighted.
- CHILL: The temperatures will continue to drop throughout the next two weeks. It will be coldest where vines have clustered and outright dangerously so near where flowers have budded or bloomed in great numbers. This will force some people from their homes.
TIME POCKETS:
In seemingly random parts of the city, areas referred to as âtime pocketsâ have populated. There is no way to identify a time pocket but to stumble into one.- REGRESSION: NPCâs in these areas will appear to freeze in time once a Bearer has breached the pocketâs radius but appear normal from the outside. Time within has halted at the point the pocket manifested ( typically covering an area like a city street or inside a single large building that sees regular use ). Objects can be freely manipulated but will not fall if thrown, etc.
- The pocket cannot be left until the Bearer has achieved their objective. Attempting to exit the way they entered, theyâll run into an unseen barrier that is painful to the touch, a sensation of frigidity that travels to their Shard.
- Their goal will be to locate a past version of themselves hidden from immediate view. This past version of themselves can be from any point in their lives but must be from a moment when they felt extremely vulnerable, isolated, wounded, or fearful.
- Once finding this past version, they will feel the compulsion to either find a way to reassure their past selves somehow or kill them. Whether it is the Bearer themselves who performs these acts or another Bearer in their company does it for them, as long as their past selves are pacified enough ( to player satisfaction ) or dead, they will gain immunity to the pocket and may leave. The immediate area will remain frozen, however, and the past version will be revealed to be made of roots that will shrivel and die.
- Note: Bearers will be able to see other Bearerâs past selves, even after they have been freed. Whether the past reflections are capable of speech while functional is up to player discretion.
HIGHSTORM: THE ROOTS OF CHANGE
The snows continue to fall over the city, feeling brittle against your skin...
ROOTS:
Vine-like roots have begun to thread the streets, creeping upon and over buildings, spreading outward from the Great Tree in Yimaâs manor. Over the next two weeks, they will continue to grow in size and become more troublesome, slowly blooming ice-like leaves that radiate a sickly glow.- SACRIFICIAL: [ CW: self-harm ] Where the roots snake and gather throughout the city, NPCâs in several locations are falling victim to the quiet, slow pulse of the flowers and their buds. They will sit and stare at the flowers for hours, unblinkingly, as their body begins to succumb to the Blight. If they are disturbed in any way - a loud noise, an attempt to move their person, etc - they will calmly look up from their worship and crack off a piece of their brittle body before returning to their reverie.
- In order to save them, a pair (or more) of Bearers must sneak up on the NPC - one using a pacifying spell given by one of the faction leaders while the other crushes the flower. If the NPC is not pacified before the flower is crushed, they will become hysterical and the Blight will rapidly consume them, causing them to perish. If they are pacified and the flower is not crushed, the spell will wear off within ten seconds with the same result.
- CHILL: The temperatures will continue to drop throughout the next two weeks. It will be coldest where vines have clustered and outright dangerously so near where flowers have budded or bloomed in great numbers. This will force some people from their homes.
TIME POCKETS:
In seemingly random parts of the city, areas referred to as âtime pocketsâ have populated. There is no way to identify a time pocket but to stumble into one.- REFLECTIONS: NPCâs in these pockets are moving in surreal blurs, pieces of them moving forward as others move backward, some changing as if time were rapidly passing as others remain frozen still. The Bearersâ surroundings are distorted as if reflecting multiple realities simultaneously.
- Their goal will be to locate a tall standing mirror situated alone in the center of the time pocketâs radius. The Bearer who first touches their reflection ( henceforth called âmirror-Bearerâ ) will cause the world inside the pocket to suddenly stop, reflecting a comforting environment they have fond or pleasant associations with. The mirror will be gone.
- Something or someone the mirror-Bearer highly values, deeply misses, or sees as imperative to their character, goals, or desires will be present. If they make contact with this object or person, the Time Pocket loops and sends them back to searching for the mirror - but they will have no memory of this occurring. Their partner, however, will recall everything.
- Both Bearers will be released if five loops occur without the mirror-Bearer being stopped from causing the loop or if the mirror-Bearer is stopped from reaching their goal for five minutes ( willingly or otherwise ). The longer they refuse to make contact with this object or person, the more tempting and dire the need becomes inside of them.
- Once the Bearers are released, the Time Pocket disappears. If they manage to avoid contact with the temptation inside the Pocket, the roots and flowers in this area will be withered and dying, buying the NPCâs and buildings in this location some time. Otherwise, they will be thriving and dangerously blooming.
- Note: the mirror will not respond to the non-mirror-Bearer once it has been touched the first time.
ENTREE-TING HELP
The Tree of Life is in danger, and you know it. Both Yima and Cyrus have directed all Bearers who might listen to increase visitation to the Tree and monitor it for signs of the Blight - of its leaves changing color, of any frostbitten bark, of its roots withering.
And then, during a moment in which you find your mind at ease, at rest... you dream, even if dreaming is unnatural for you. You dream of yourself sitting beneath the massive bows of the Tree's breadth, at peace. The perpetual dawn's glow warms your skin in a way that seeps into your bones, leaving you certain you are safe from harm. The Tree reaches out, and though it cannot speak to you in words, you feel it is trying to convey a message: one of urgency. One of plea.
But you cannot understand...
Soon, the branches of the Tree are reaching out to others. You cannot see them, but you know they're there; a spiritual tether connects your Shards together, bringing you all into a place of wordless unity. And once your fellows have been summoned, you know what you are here for.
You feel it rather than see it: some meager, barely-there brush of something cold in the warmth of the island's comfort. The Tree is already infected, and the clock is running down for all of you.
When you wake to yourself, a feeling of dread not entirely your own will chase you, and you will find a single violet leaf in your hand.
And then, during a moment in which you find your mind at ease, at rest... you dream, even if dreaming is unnatural for you. You dream of yourself sitting beneath the massive bows of the Tree's breadth, at peace. The perpetual dawn's glow warms your skin in a way that seeps into your bones, leaving you certain you are safe from harm. The Tree reaches out, and though it cannot speak to you in words, you feel it is trying to convey a message: one of urgency. One of plea.
But you cannot understand...
Soon, the branches of the Tree are reaching out to others. You cannot see them, but you know they're there; a spiritual tether connects your Shards together, bringing you all into a place of wordless unity. And once your fellows have been summoned, you know what you are here for.
You feel it rather than see it: some meager, barely-there brush of something cold in the warmth of the island's comfort. The Tree is already infected, and the clock is running down for all of you.
When you wake to yourself, a feeling of dread not entirely your own will chase you, and you will find a single violet leaf in your hand.
MISC NOTES
- Bearers start with immunity to the Blight. They will not succumb to the effects of the Blight even if they handle the vines and flowers directly without precautions or care.
- The above effects will occur in small clusters and are not yet spread city-wide during phase one. The escalation of frequency characters will come across problematic clusters or Time Pockets will be slow building.
- For context, it takes about a month from infection to death or dissolution for the average person or object to succumb to the Blight. By the 21st, it will be three days to a week.
- Bearers will be directed by Cetina or Kathova to make efforts to protect the civilians and investigate the manifesting changes around both cities. Both factions are working on their own methods to attempt to counteract the Blight, but neither has produced a failsafe solution.
- The roots will remain mostly outdoors, for the most part, these first two weeks.
- Tensions will slowly ramp up in Alenroux, and there are checkpoints for any non-PC visitors to screen for signs of infection.
- Player characters who die inside the Time Pockets are dead and need their Shards brought to the Tree of Life for revival.
- HAVE FUN!! â„
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sick trees, strangling roots, mania and stasis, dangerous, magical flowers â he's been in kenos long enough to have awareness of how much of the bizarre is commonplace here, but it's still far from his experience. but neither is he interested in doing nothing. this might not be his world, but there are innocent people here. there are things he can do. never mind how recently he's returned from the beyond and all that they found there â this is the problem in front of him now, and he has no intentions of sitting idle.
he'd been directed to the spire, told that there were roots going unchecked out here, and that's why he's here now. moving with purpose, looking for people to clear from the area, or...anything strange.
and that's when he does find something strange. he walks directly into it, a pocket of space where their surroundings, where the people here, seem to glitch...except for one. a familiar face. cassian nods at him, a crease appearing between his eyebrows, as he looks from amos, to everything around them, to the mirror. ]
Do you know what's going on here?
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[ Eloquent, but more importantly, truthful. Amos has more familiarity with this world â as much as anyone of their generation, he figures â but he hasn't seen anything like this before. He comes to stand beside Cassian, staring up at the mirror and presently ignoring their reflections standing before them in it. ]
I just know that this wasn't here before, so that might be the source of the problem. Only I'm not sure how we're supposed to deal with it, if we should just break it or what.
[ Which seems like the obvious solution to him? Which is a problem: it's the obvious solution to him, so there's a chance he's completely wrong, and breaking it will just result in them being the ones to shatter or some shit.
Amos breaks his gaze from trying to see how high the mirror goes to look at Cassian instead. Any ideas, buddy? ]
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and then everything stops.
the environment around them blooms green, full of towering trees, thick vines, luxurious growth. and the memory of a dead world he'd thought long buried would be bad enough â is bad enough, stiffens his spine and traps his breath in his chest and clenches his jaw so ferociously his teeth hurt â
the mirror is gone. instead, standing just a short distance away, is a little girl. her hair is long and curly; her eyes are dark and solemn; she looks very much like cassian. she looks directly at cassian, speaks softly in a high, clear voice, in a language that amos isn't likely to recognize. ]
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Or maybe not, because the world around them is different now. Like nowhere Amos has ever been before, could have ever fathomed. It's all he can do but look around him in awe, mouth agape, too astonished to even be confused. It's like some kind of paradise â or would be, if it wasn't so obviously not real by virtue of whatever that mirror actually is. Was.
Needless to say, he misses Cassian's initial reaction entirely. Misses a lot of things, too much sensory input in this new environment, until that little girl speaks. Amos' eyes fall directly on her, taken aback for a second. Where did she come fromâ but she can't be real eitherâ butâ ]
Melshi...? [ He looks back to Cassian, because the resemblance is right there. And she definitely isn't anyone he knows. ] Who is she?
1/2
all of the blood has drained from cassian's face, as he looks at her. his eyes are wide. he's trembling, though the worst of the shaking is at his hands, reflexively curled into fists to hide it. even without thinking, he tries to obscure the truth.
she speaks again. kassa, she says, and then more words strung into sentences like pearls on a string. and the truth is,
a hollow, aching thing that seems to open inside of his chest. or maybe it has always been open, and he has learned how to ignore it. give too much attention to a bleeding wound and you can never think about anything else, and he has always had so much to devote his mind to doing. he has always given himself so much to devote his mind to doing. he has
dreamed of those last days on kenari so often. he has dreamed of her so often. he remembers the last thing he ever said to her with excruciating clarity. in his dreams, they talk, and they laugh, and he holds her hand and reassures her, and it's all done in the only language they'd ever known, and
he doesn't understand a word of it now. she could be speaking shyriiwook for how comprehensible it is to him, rather than the language of his homeworld. it's a wonder she even recognizes him; in this moment, not for the first time, he doesn't recognize himself. he stumbles forward a few steps, unheeding of amos's question, and she draws closer to enclasp his hand with both of hers.
and then, ]
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Do you know what's going on here?
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Amos stares at Cassian like he's insane (is he?), because this is. None of this makes any sense. His reaction as though he'd seen a ghost, haunted and hollow until he'd gone right up to the little girl, and even then. His steps towards her like they weren't even his own, the way Cassian's entire world seemed to narrow down to her alone, and...
Yeah. Yeah, Amos gets that part, actually.
But she's gone now, and with it, so is Cassian's hauntedness. He looks like before, when they'd first found themselves in the space, not a damn clue between the two of them what was going on or where they'd ended up or why. Like the little girl was never here at all, like his mind hadn't just fractured for a moment there. ]
... There was a mirror. You touched it. [ Amos speaks slowly, as though Cassian is simple and that'll help him understand â as though Amos is simple and that'll help him understand, because he isn't exactly faring much better. ] The world bloomed around us like it was some kind of jungle or something, and there was a little girl. She said something to you, you went up to her, she disappeared, and now we're still here.
[ A beat. A slight tilting of his head. ]
You don't remember any of that?
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That mirror?
[ less than a meter off from them is the same mirror cassian and amos had been examining before. it doesn't look any different than it had before, or even like it ever vanished. ]
I don't remember anything about touching any mirrors. This is the first time I've seen it.
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You don't?
[ Amos is still staring up at it, his back to Cassian. He catches the look of wonder on his face in his reflection, and the temptation to shatter it is still there.
But nothing bad had actually happened when Cassian touched it. Just something... different. ]
You did. We were looking at it, I thought maybe we should break it, you reached out to touch your reflection and then the world changed. We were in a jungle. The mirror was gone. There was a little girl who kinda looked like you...
[ He really doesn't know what that part was about.
Amos hesitates before turning back to Cassian, a cant of his head indicating the mirror. ]
Touch it again. Maybe it was a fluke or some shit. You'll remember when it happens again.
[ He says it with a full confidence, that this is the way they'll get out of this, because how could it not be. Right? ]
1/2
no, he doesn't remember anything like that. and the story amos tells doesn't ring any bells, either. but it does...seem to strike at something inside him, just the same. a jungle. a little girl who looks like him. these are deeply buried memories, but cassian is too analytical not to consider just what it might be that amos saw. that he saw, apparently, that he doesn't remember.
his jaw clenches, and his eyes harden.
it'd be a bad joke. it'd be horrible thing to pull out of him. but he's never breathed a word of anything connected to kenari here on kenos. longer. jyn knows nothing. and even before that...
he looks from amos to the mirror, critical. assessing his options. but how many options are there? he's seen these pockets in springstar, enough to know that there's no leaving until they're dealt with. and how else to deal with them but to engage with the mirror? ]
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and once again, the mirror vanishes. once again, the world blooms a bright, vibrant green, lush with growth. this time, cassian is ready; his reaction is more subtle, less instantaneous. amos had warned him about this, and so when he looks around it's to understand what he's seeing, not just lapse into shock. it's a jungle, as amos had said. it's a perfect match for his memories, and that's â troubling. or maybe it isn't. more likely that some magic could pull this image out of his head, than that it could reach across time and space to manifest kenari. kenari as it was, anyway.
once again, there's a voice.
and no matter how much cassian had braced himself for this possibility, when he turns to look at her â there's no bracing himself for the sight of her. every detail is achingly familiar, etched into his mind as if with dark ink. all of the blood has drained from cassian's face, as he looks at her. his eyes are wide. he's trembling, though the worst of the shaking is at his hands, reflexively curled into fists to hide it.
he tries to find his voice, fails. he swallows, then manages, ]
This was the girl we saw?
[ to amos, though he doesn't look to the other man. he can't take his eyes from her. ]
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He does shift slightly to give Cassian more room as he reaches out to touch the mirror again, watches as it simply disappears. In its place is the jungle coming to life again, and for as awed as Amos remains by it, he's got more presence of mind to keep an eye on Cassian this time instead. His muted reaction â at least until the little girl comes back, and he sees her.
Amos' heart instantly clenches. He assumes daughter, but the specificities of the relationship matter less than what it's drawn out of Cassian. He's someone who cares about her, deeply, so on top of freeing themselves from the time pocket, they've gotta figure out how to take the kid with them, too.
Which isn't going to be easy. And potentially impossible. ]
Yeah. That's her. [ Amos' voice is soft, because shit, he's hardwired to try to find a happy ending here. He wants to reach out to Cassian, put a reassuring hand on his shoulder or something; thinks better about it. Unsolicited physical contact might not be the way to go right now, especially when he isn't looking at him. Amos doesn't blame him. ] What's she saying?
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amos is right in the instinct to not touch cassian; he would hate it, and there's a strong possibility he'd startle badly in a way neither of them need right now. he holds himself very, very still, very carefully. ]
This isn't possible.
[ is a murmur more than anything else, but audible. enraptured as he is at the sight of her, the analytical part of his mind whirring just as quickly â more quickly for his emotional response. some things become hard-wired after all, and his eschewal of emotions, vulnerability, for his own survival runs deep. he has to force himself to acknowledge that even if kerri were here, somehow, she'd be older. she wouldn't be the little girl he failed. they'd only been a few years apart in age; unfathomably younger to a nine year old, but not much now. she'd be an adult, like he is.
(did she outlive him? he hopes she did. he hopes that so badly. he hopes scarif meant something, and that she lives in a galaxy that has more of a chance than the one he last saw.)
what's she saying? he can't even bring himself to start considering how he'd answer that. having to acknowledge the truth out loud feels like it'd break him irreparably, and he can't do that. he can't do that in front of someone he barely knows, if he could at all. he takes one step closer to her, slow, then two, then three. then kneels, so he's closer to eye level. so he's less in danger of his knees giving out from the cavernous loss shuddering inside his ribs.
aloud, he clarifies instead, ]
My sister, [ and he should've lied, would've lied, but it's impossible to deny her while she's looking him in the eye, while she's approaching him, ] looked like this a long time ago. [ he has to clarify, he reminds himself ruthlessly, because they both need to understand the situation they're in. amos all the more, for not having an emotional connection to whatever is happening. ] When we were both young.
no subject
Sister. Okay. Then either there was a massive gap between when their parents had the both of them, or there's some time bullshit at play here â and isn't it weird that the latter is more likely in a world like this.
He doesn't pay much thought to how his question doesn't even get an answer, chalking it up to Cassian being in shock. Because the man is in shock, as though he never expected anything like this, and... yeah. Who would?
Amos hangs back, because it's his place. Gives a cursory look at their surroundings, because Cassian is the one who should take point on his sister, and that leaves Amos to take point on finding a way out of here. ]
Okay. [ There's an emotional quality to his voice, unfounded considering he's the third wheel here â but sometimes there are certain things that just get to you, and this is one of them. He clears his throat. ] We'll take her with us, find a way out of here with her. I don't know what's going on, but Yima might. She'll help her.
[ There aren't any immediate answers for an exit, so looks like the three of them might be poking around for a little while. He looks back to Cassian, to his sister. ]
We're not leaving her behind. I promise.
1/2
seeing her again, seeing her here like this. feeling, no matter how irrational a part of him knows it is, like he can save her this time. the sympathy in amos's voice. we're not leaving her behind, i promise. how many years has he wished to hear that? how many years has he wished that maarva or clem had, somehow, known about kerri and promised him this before taking him offworld? how much better is it to be promised they won't abandon her, than to be told there were no survivors on kenari?
he trusts the raw emotion in amos's voice more than he trusts the idea of yima. he trusts the promise more than he should. for no better reason, he knows, than it's what he wants. he's manipulated people in this way more times than he can count. he should know better. he does know better. he watches kerri draw near, and he closes his eyes, and he nods in response to amos's promises. softly, ]
She'll come with me.
[ his voice is not gentle, because he's long since cut everything gentle out of himself. but it is fragile in a way he rarely is. rarely allows himself to be. his eyes are still closed when she's near enough to raise a hand to his cheek. when she touches his face, he exhales a long breath, shivering. ]
no subject
Do you know what's going on here?
no subject
The world reverts again when Cassian reaches his sister, and Amos' heart sinks.
That's two data points, both identical. Cassian reaches his sister. The world goes back to what it was. Cassian asks him if he knows what's going on here. It's time to break the pattern, and no matter how he slices it, Amos is pretty sure they're going to have to leave Cassian's sister behind.
At least he won't remember that Amos had promised him. Amos will, though.
He swallows. Looks around them, looks for any way they can just exit whatever space this is they've found themselves in, so Cassian doesn't have to be subjected to that again. ]
Think we stumbled into some fucked up time bubble. I don't know how we get out. Or... what happens to the people stuck in here when we do.
[ Shit. Shit shit shit. Because as far as he knows, the people here are actually alive, and Cassian's sister... probably isn't. Which makes her not the priority, and this is completely uncharted territory for him.
He hates it.
Amos closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. Steeling himself, because everything goes different when Cassian touches the mirror. That has to be their way out; there's just one data point he can think of left that has to change.
He exhales. Cants his head towards the mirror he saw in his cursory look around. ]
You've touched that thing twice now. Each time you do, the whole place turns into a jungle. And your sister's there. I know you have one because you told me, even if you don't remember what's going on after. So I think you need to touch it again to get us out of here.
[ And he'll do what he has to do once she appears.
Fuck. ]
no subject
his eyes widen, briefly, before narrowing. his mouth pulls into a frown. he goes from humoring amos, to something more serious and more angry. his expression becomes the spy's mask: inscrutable, calculating, dangerous like a knife in the dark. suspicious as only a man who assesses other peoples' weaknesses, what threat other people may pose to him, for a living can. i know you have one because you told me. he doesn't remember that. think we stumbled into some fucked up time bubble. he's seen the ones in springstar, met the younger version of jyn and others, but that's not the same thing. could be a different phenomenon. could still be the blight.
could it be a lucky guess? is there any possible way for amos to know he has a sister? not even jyn knows. no one at the rebellion knew. how could they? and they weren't a universe apart from what happened at kenari. could yima, who brought their shards here, know? could she have told amos? would amos lie to him about it? occam's razor: the only way amos could know about his sister is if cassian told him. if cassian told him, then amos is telling the truth. as far as he's aware, amos has never deliberately lied to him.
the look he slants amos's way is hard, the expression on his face harder. there is no trace, in this moment, of the friendly man he's spent more than half of pelu pretending to be. he does not say, if you're lying about my sister, i will kill you. he doesn't have to.
slowly, without taking his eyes off amos, he extends a hand to the mirror. slowly, his palm touches the cool glass. immediately, the mirror vanishes and a green jungle blooms around them. immediately, the image of a little girl starts to materialize. ]
no subject
And if he hates Amos for what he has to do next then he wouldn't blame him, either.
Amos' expression doesn't change. He remains frustrated but otherwise open, unbothered by the venom being shot his way now. Because he gets it â he'd kill anyone lying to him about this sort of shit, too. Probably would shoot them that exact same expression, so at least they understand each other perfectly.
He keeps himself close to the mirror. Close to Cassian, when he touches it. When the world blooms around them again, when the girl appears again.
And turning from the girl to Cassian, he lays a firm hand on his chest. ]
You can't go to her.
[ His voice is soft, his eyes hard, and judging by the he's started to hold him back it is an order, not a request. ]
no subject
no matter what amos had told him, no matter that cassian had taken the warning seriously: there's no bracing himself for the sight of her. maybe he has seen her already. maybe this is the third time he's seeing kerri, the trees of kenari, today. but for him this is the first time â and so it takes the breath out of him, drains the blood from his face, sets a tremble to his hands, to the rest of him. she speaks, and her voice is achingly familiar, and her words are achingly unfamiliar. she could be speaking shyriiwook for how comprehensible it is to him, rather than the language of his homeworld. in this one miserable moment, before amos does anything, cassian is blindsided by his lost childhood.
and then amos does speak. and then amos does lay a hand on his chest, making him flinch with surprise. and then all that shocked misery curdles inside him, and his sadness sharpens into a hot anger. ]
Fuck you. [ he goes to violently shove amos's arm away, stepping closer to the girl as he does. ] Get out of my face.
[ he can't go to her? the thought hadn't ben a conscious one in his mind, but as soon as amos says it, he's aware of his need to do just that. of course he'll go to her. that's his sister. he's been searching for her since he was a child, and now she's standing in front of him â in kenos, this corner of the universe where the impossible happens â and he should not go to her? no. that simply isn't an option. ]
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He cares, and that's what makes this both awful and a relief. But if there's anyone suited for doing the dirty work it's Amos, so he'll force down everything he's feeling. Get rid of all of it. It doesn't matter that Cassian is seeing his sister again for the first time in however long, it doesn't matter that he so obviously cares for her deeply. It matters that every time they've reached one another the world has reset, and Amos is going to put a stop to that.
His expression doesn't change as Cassian snarls at him, shoves his arm off of him. Amos instantly puts it back up, actively pressing his hand against Cassian's chest as he pushes him back a step with enough force to indicate that he means what he's saying. ]
Every time you reach her the world resets and you're standing around asking me if I know what's going on because you don't remember anything. I told you I knew your sister would be here because you told me, even though you didn't remember doing that. I know what I'm talking about here.
[ He doesn't, not entirely â it's a guess, but he has more to work with than Cassian does, so the statement is delivered with sincere belief. ]
Listen to me.
[ Don't make me do anything else, the warning sliding into his tone. ]
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he really does, even as amos pushes hard enough to make him step backwards. his gaze keeps flicking from kerri to the other man, his eyes hard and troubled. his jaw clenches so tightly it's a miracle he doesn't crack his teeth. his hands, at his sides, are in fists. there's an ugly edge of resentment unfurling in tandem with the growing need to move closer to, not farther away from, the little girl. but he listens. ]
So, what then? We stand around and look at each other and hope she goes away?
[ beyond them, the little girl's voice gets a little more frantic, a little more insistent. ]
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It's a blink, emotion slipping across his face as the little girl starts to sound distressed, and this goes against all of his instincts. He wants Cassian to reunite with her. Wants to bring her out with them. And knows, objectively, that the second the two of them meet they'll be back to square one.
He shuts his eyes, shaking his head â not in no but in frustration at himself, though who's to say how that'll be interpreted. ]
Maybe. [ The authority hasn't left his voice, even though the word probably indicates he shouldn't have any. ] I just know when you get to her you're not going to remember any of this, so we gotta do something different. And that means you not going up to her.
[ She needs her brother, he is actively keeping her brother from her. There's borderline a growl in Amos' throat because he's upset, he doesn't know how to be upset, he's angry. Doesn't matter who at. He just is. ]
Maybe we can find a way out when everything's a jungle like this. But you can't go to her.
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there's another part of him that thinks that amos's logic holds water. it makes sense; it's what he'd conclude, himself. it's what he'd do, himself.
there's another part of him that feels kerri's distress like a physical wound. the awakening of long-forgotten memories that float to the surface: taking her hand to comfort her, humming melodies to soothe her, combing the tangles out of her hair with as much care as another child can. remembering small softnesses; things he doesn't know how to do anymore.
he looks from amos to her, and the longing in his chest has him try to push forward before he even knows what he's doing. he stops, swallows, squeezes his eyes shut. nods slowly. does the little girl's pitch get more insistent, more distressed, at his decision? or is that just in his head? he doesn't dare open his eyes yet, to look at amos and find out. ]
Tell me something, [ he says instead. his tone sounds more like an order, but they both know it for the plea it is. give me something else to listen to. ]
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Amos can't look at her either. He doesn't have that level of emotional attachment, the depths that Cassian does to make this agonizing. He just hears a child in need and wants to fix something that cannot be fixed.
Really, he should be used to it. Got used to it decades ago, which is why he can never get used to it again.
His hand drifts to rest gently on Cassian's back, to urge him to take a step away from the little girl. Walk with me, essentially. Away from her, specifically. He doesn't want to look either; besides, the more distance they put between themselves and her, the better a chance they have at finding a solution. ]
Starwatcher's Spire. That's what you came here for, right? Me too. I don't want to see it go to shit; it's a nice place. Doing some good stuff with the observatory they got, considering the way islands drift around here. I'd say it's as vital as anything else. We find our way out of here, we should be able to make sure it's holding up okay.
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