[OPEN] you're on your own, kid

[ghostmoder]

WHO: Yusuke and... you?!
WHAT: May Catchall
WHEN: anytime and all times
WHERE: Highstorm, Old Springstar, elsewhere?!
WARNINGS: shitty teen behavior




Prompts in comments! Feel free to wildcard me if you feel like riffing on any of them, or hit me up with a PM or on Discord (@ pineappamatic) if you wanna plot out something specific!

Comments

[ghostmoder]

[He still only has a vague understanding of the difference between being dissipated and being shattered, but in actuality he... doesn't really care that much. Not because of a false sense of security about dissipation, but because of a base assumption that if anyone did manage to dissipate him, they could and should also shatter him. Hayame would be making the smart choice in that hypothetical, as far as he's concerned, even if he probably wouldn't do the same if the situation were reversed.

The truth is, addressing the issue like this probably is the best way to go about it. It indicates to him that Amos is starting to pick up what he's putting down, that he's not just some kid out of his depth— but also that Amos doesn't know and, maybe, should. If he's going to ask that directly, the least Yusuke can do is give him a direct answer.

bluntly:]

I am dead. [He strikes himself lightly on the chest with two fingers, over his heart.] He got me good. Last thing I remember is hittin' the ground, before I woke up six-feet-under in this hellhole.

[The feedback of emotions from his end cuts off abruptly; it might be the closest he's come to Amos' stillness since the conversation began. He isn't doing it intentionally, or even consciously. He just... has to. This is the first time he's allowed that memory to come this close to the surface since he woke up in Kenos; he has to keep a stranglehold on it, under control, so that he can keep moving forward.]

That wasn't the first time, though. I died once before that. Watched 'em load me up on the gurney. Went to the wake. [In case Amos might be tempted to think that Yusuke doesn't know the value of his own life— he very much does.] I got lucky that time. The underworld let me go back. I don't think I'm gonna get lucky like that again.

[He's wrong, but he doesn't know that.]

Or are you asking if I've ever seen somebody I care about die? Because I have. Or if I've killed somebody myself? Done that too.

[a beat]

What d'you think? Is that "familiar" enough?

[Interestingly, there's no frustration or exasperation behind any of this, the way there has been up to this point. It's plainer, more matter-of-fact: do you believe me now?]

[baltimores]

[ Blunt is good for Amos, too. He wouldn't know how to coach someone about going through death, his capabilities topping out at fumbling with words and maybe an awkward shoulder clasp in an attempt at sympathy. To have Yusuke so straightforwardly talk about it — well, it isn't good, because it isn't good that he's been through all of this, but at least he can understand it.

So a blink, a spark of surprise at I am dead, and then as Yusuke's emotions cut short Amos finds himself listening with increased focus. It's easier when it's just words and no other bullshit in the way.

He listens, and when Yusuke is done, exhales. It turns into a puff of a laugh, devoid of humour and more something for him to do. Like that's how a normal person with feelings would response to all of that. ]

Maybe a little too familiar. [ His arms fall from across his chest to hang limply at his sides as he tilts his head slightly, like he's literally seeing Yusuke in a new light instead of just metaphorically. ] Saw plenty of people die by the time I was your age. Killed some of them, too. Never died myself though. That's...

[ Fuck, at that age? There's something a little sad about that, and it bubbles up briefly before he subconsciously tamps it back down. Wherever Yusuke is from being brought back is possible, where it wasn't where Amos came from. That does change things some. ]

... I mean, shit, where I grew up if you were dead that was kinda it. I've died a couple of times since I've been here. It's, [ he waves a hand at his side vaguely, ] whatever. As long as you've got someone to take your Shard back to the Tree again and plant you, you'll come back. It's not a big deal.

[ It maybe? Should be? It is to other people, but Yusuke knowing the value of his own life barely makes a blip on Amos' radar. If you die and come back that many times then it doesn't exactly have any meaning, does it? Not until you don't come back, and then it's too late, so it circles back around to not really mattering. ]

Just means you really gotta be careful about not ending up in a situation where someone can crush your Shard. [ Sure, be complacent about death, but not too complacent. There's a fine line, somehow. ] If you're gonna die send out a message or something so one of us can come get you. It'd fucking suck otherwise.

[ A beat, like oh, yeah. ]

But probably should avoid putting yourself in situations where you might die if you can help it to begin with.

[ghostmoder]

Not gonna happen.

[That same plain, matter-of-fact kind of stubbornness. He doesn't fully understand the why of this yet, couldn't explain it in any kind of eloquent or self-aware way, but he knows it's true: he's going to put himself in those situations. He needs to, almost. The life-or-death stakes are the entire point.]

I'm gonna be out there. You can't stop me. [still without any heat, like a clarification more than a clapback] But I always play for keeps, and that ain't changing here, Shards or not. If anybody over there's taking me down, they're gonna have to work for it.

[Having the shards as a safety net, so-to-speak, is actually like... annoying, from his perspective. Amos' attitude towards it is exactly what he doesn't want— for death to stop mattering.]

You don't have to worry about me. [edged with sarcasm, like it's goofy to consider anyone worrying about him in the first place] But if I ever get pinned down, sure, whatever. I'll send a memo.