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Entry tags:
- !event,
- arcane: silco,
- arknights: gavial,
- black butler: sebastian michaelis,
- culture (the): demeisen,
- divinity original sin: fane,
- enderal: jade the prophetess,
- expanse (the): amos burton,
- fate grand order: tezcatlipoca,
- fate/: rin tohsaka,
- fate/: sakamoto ryouma,
- fire emblem: shez,
- fire emblem: yuri leclerc,
- forgotten realms: raphael,
- howl's moving castle: howl,
- jinba: hayame,
- legend of zelda (the): link,
- life is strange: chloe price,
- oc: liem talbott,
- oc: matt jamison,
- pumpkin scissors: alice l. malvin,
- suikoden: yuber,
- terra e: tony asuka,
- tsubasa reservoir chronicle: subaru
THE ADVOCATE ORACLE - A RIP VAN WINKLE IN TIME
Sweet dreams are made of Bliss
As the twilight falls, and bearers begin to tuck in for their evenings on the night of the 15th of March (OOC time) and whether they tuck themselves into bed fully, or simply drift away in the middle of their dinner, work, indulgences, or what have you; bearers will fall into a deep, deep sleep. Perhaps you slump in your chair, or you wrap your arms around a teddy bear, or partner, or cup a precious shard in your sleep, it doesn’t matter, because as you drift away, into a sleep that seems to tug you under like the undertow itself, a question will echo in bearer’s minds: “If given the choice, would you show compassion in the face of adversity?”
It sticks with you, even as you fall into a dreamless sleep. As if it rotates in your mind, over and over, letting you worm over that. You know for certain what it is, that it is the calming, soothing voice of the Oracle, reaching out to you across the ether, telling you – promise you – that if you accept its promise, you will find that the Oracle could be in your hands. That thought leads you to dream of something else – of home, or your loved ones – of what you are fighting this war for. Even as you dream, you feel a presence next to you, and unlike the Harbinger’s winding, rough digging, this is more akin to a friend, who is asking you soft, coaxing questions. Things like: what was your childhood like? What were your friends like? What did you do? You cannot help but think of them, think of your home and your loved ones. Of where you came from, and how it made you what you are.
The advocate seeks to understand you, and where you come from. You can feel it, that overwhelming Acceptance and love from it, even as you reminisce, compelled to answer the multitude of questions, you can feel something building behind you, around you. “Don’t you want them all to understand this?” the impression is given through communion, and you cannot help but answer: yes.
It sticks with you, even as you fall into a dreamless sleep. As if it rotates in your mind, over and over, letting you worm over that. You know for certain what it is, that it is the calming, soothing voice of the Oracle, reaching out to you across the ether, telling you – promise you – that if you accept its promise, you will find that the Oracle could be in your hands. That thought leads you to dream of something else – of home, or your loved ones – of what you are fighting this war for. Even as you dream, you feel a presence next to you, and unlike the Harbinger’s winding, rough digging, this is more akin to a friend, who is asking you soft, coaxing questions. Things like: what was your childhood like? What were your friends like? What did you do? You cannot help but think of them, think of your home and your loved ones. Of where you came from, and how it made you what you are.
The advocate seeks to understand you, and where you come from. You can feel it, that overwhelming Acceptance and love from it, even as you reminisce, compelled to answer the multitude of questions, you can feel something building behind you, around you. “Don’t you want them all to understand this?” the impression is given through communion, and you cannot help but answer: yes.
Click your Heels together, Dorothy!
As you awake for the first time, it’s alien, the world that meets you. New smells fill your nostrils, new sights, the gravity is perhaps different than you’ve gotten used to on Kenos, even those slight shifts enough to make the world feel wholly different. You remember the advocate’s words, and it wants you to feel what it feels. Understanding. Compassion, and perhaps there is a sense that doing so would hurt yourself in turn, if you understood too much. That is the advocate’s way, after all, isn’t it?
You feel an inexorable, slight tug in your chest. Something subtle and gentle, the slightest of sensations, that gives you a direction. You know it, your mind only just now comprehending the advocate’s confusing impressions via communion, that there is something of this world’s… Soul/center/heart or whatever word you want to use for it. Something about this world that will help you along your path, and help you with the results you so desire. You know it will not guarantee a victory, but surely it will help. Especially as your numbers dwindle from world to world. You are left with an impression from the Advocate -- if you die, they cannot bring you back. There is apology in this, but alone, one oracle is limited. Only united, can they truly change your fate.
The lingering presence of the advocate starts to fade. You know this is a bearer’s world, if not your own. You look around, to see perhaps a familiar face nearby? Or perhaps you are alone. Does it matter? You know that this place belongs to a bearer, but whether they are a friend or an enemy, one has to begin to determine that. You’ll need your wits, you’ll need your strength and resolve to make it to the end of this, won’t you?
After all, as bearers were recently reminded: this is War. This is not simply the fate of this world, but perhaps all, as it will require you to find the answer to this question. So you start to move, you start to look around, explore, and search. For the soul of each world, for the bearers that lie dreaming within, and your foes that will seek you out. Stay steadfast, for the way out will come, if you make it to the end. The longer you spend in each world, however, the more the shadows look darker, and deeper. Hungrier. The more the spaces seem smaller or compressed. As if there is something gnawing away at the sides, making their way to the heart.
You feel an inexorable, slight tug in your chest. Something subtle and gentle, the slightest of sensations, that gives you a direction. You know it, your mind only just now comprehending the advocate’s confusing impressions via communion, that there is something of this world’s… Soul/center/heart or whatever word you want to use for it. Something about this world that will help you along your path, and help you with the results you so desire. You know it will not guarantee a victory, but surely it will help. Especially as your numbers dwindle from world to world. You are left with an impression from the Advocate -- if you die, they cannot bring you back. There is apology in this, but alone, one oracle is limited. Only united, can they truly change your fate.
The lingering presence of the advocate starts to fade. You know this is a bearer’s world, if not your own. You look around, to see perhaps a familiar face nearby? Or perhaps you are alone. Does it matter? You know that this place belongs to a bearer, but whether they are a friend or an enemy, one has to begin to determine that. You’ll need your wits, you’ll need your strength and resolve to make it to the end of this, won’t you?
After all, as bearers were recently reminded: this is War. This is not simply the fate of this world, but perhaps all, as it will require you to find the answer to this question. So you start to move, you start to look around, explore, and search. For the soul of each world, for the bearers that lie dreaming within, and your foes that will seek you out. Stay steadfast, for the way out will come, if you make it to the end. The longer you spend in each world, however, the more the shadows look darker, and deeper. Hungrier. The more the spaces seem smaller or compressed. As if there is something gnawing away at the sides, making their way to the heart.
Around the world in 60 seconds 12 hours
When you find yourself at the end, when you close your eyes – only a blink, but it hangs, as if the momentary motion is enough to suspend you into a suspended space before. You can see the two options stretched out before you – metaphysically – the impression of it. A long, long shadow cast over one. As if there is a presence hovering over and above, like waiting jaws, ready to strike. In the other, there remains…nothing. It is not pleasant, it is not comforting, it simply… is. A sense that there is now a lack of anything, almost like it had never existed before.
Does this world have value? You can feel the Advocate ask. Do you want to give them a chance to live? Or does should this world cease, is there nothing here to save?
And though you are compelled, required to answer, you know this question for what it is. Short-sighted. Both, in the end, will lead to its destruction, but which will you choose? Will you allow the world to continue, even with that long shadow cast, like a hungry beast with snapping jaws; or will you erase it from existence and spare it that oncoming apocalypse?
Does this world have value? You can feel the Advocate ask. Do you want to give them a chance to live? Or does should this world cease, is there nothing here to save?
And though you are compelled, required to answer, you know this question for what it is. Short-sighted. Both, in the end, will lead to its destruction, but which will you choose? Will you allow the world to continue, even with that long shadow cast, like a hungry beast with snapping jaws; or will you erase it from existence and spare it that oncoming apocalypse?
Catch [???] Winks
The last world’s fate decided, bearers float in an endless sea of stars. You can see them all, spread before you. Intermittently, they wink out, swallowed into the darkness, consumed as the shadows, that inky-black nothingness grows ever-larger. It looks upon you, bearers. It is nothing, but you have its attention, and your blood runs cold, your limbs frozen. You cannot move, you cannot speak, you cannot breathe. You feel it, the power of being drawn into it, like it wants to consume you. Like it knows you.
T̸̢̼̯͓̬̘́̀̋̆͊h̷͔̣̱̝͍̬̣͕̄̂͗̆͒͌͜ͅẹ̶̱̩̅͒̿̇͠ ̵̭̹͇͖̔̀ṃ̸̢̧͙̟̼̜͌͆̍͝͝ͅo̴̟̞̓̆̇̐̆͊̽͆̂̀r̶͈̺̮̠͙̗͌ę̸̤̻̈́͐͂̓̊͐̂͆ ̵̡̛͎̩̳̤͔͚̱̼̆̒̓y̴̺̞̹̺̝̤͂ǫ̷̡̣̱̥͊̈́̓͑̕͘ű̵̼͜͜ ̶̨̨̝̟̘̱͇̲̻̪̊͂̽̈̒͊f̴̱̐͌̌̓̋̔́̀͝i̶͖̤͎̬̝̦͒̂g̸̳̰̟̀̓̽̈́̐h̸̼͍̮͎̊̅͗͊̈͋̽̀͘t̴͔͚́̓,̷̨̧̱̠̙̠̙̱̒̍̽̾ ̷̖̰̼̬̟͐̊̂t̶̖̄͂̅̃̍͐̊̑̅͜͝h̴̢̛͙̪̞̫̝̺̋̅̿͛̇̚͝͝ͅͅȩ̶͉̤͍̠́̈͑̏͋̚͘͝ ̸̢̨̧͚̖̤̪̬̪̀̉̐͗̂͆͑̚̕̚c̴̠̩̳͎̲̪͔̟̈́͂̉͑́l̶̡̲̻̣̘̏́ͅo̶̢̧͔͈̬̳̰͈̝̻͌̋̆̃͒͗̏͘ş̴̪̺̣̥̎̽̿͗̒́͛̕̚̚e̴̺͍̤͖͂̇͑͂̋͂̆̾r̴̨̩̈́͋͠ ̷̧͚̲̩̖̋͒̉́͗y̶̘̖̝̑̈͊ǒ̵͚̽u̵͎͍̇̀̏̊̕͝ŕ̷͎̜̘͙̀̋ ̶͇̲̝̞̖̝̣̘̝̬͋d̷͔͈͔̀̿õ̴̝̯͇̹̘̏͗͜ö̵͚͓͆m̵͉̦̫̥̦̞̫͐̆͐̿͊͒͌͋͜.̷̼͈̻̥̜̾̏͐̾̐͆͘͜
You gasp, as you startle awake, and open your eyes for the first time in a long time.
T̸̢̼̯͓̬̘́̀̋̆͊h̷͔̣̱̝͍̬̣͕̄̂͗̆͒͌͜ͅẹ̶̱̩̅͒̿̇͠ ̵̭̹͇͖̔̀ṃ̸̢̧͙̟̼̜͌͆̍͝͝ͅo̴̟̞̓̆̇̐̆͊̽͆̂̀r̶͈̺̮̠͙̗͌ę̸̤̻̈́͐͂̓̊͐̂͆ ̵̡̛͎̩̳̤͔͚̱̼̆̒̓y̴̺̞̹̺̝̤͂ǫ̷̡̣̱̥͊̈́̓͑̕͘ű̵̼͜͜ ̶̨̨̝̟̘̱͇̲̻̪̊͂̽̈̒͊f̴̱̐͌̌̓̋̔́̀͝i̶͖̤͎̬̝̦͒̂g̸̳̰̟̀̓̽̈́̐h̸̼͍̮͎̊̅͗͊̈͋̽̀͘t̴͔͚́̓,̷̨̧̱̠̙̠̙̱̒̍̽̾ ̷̖̰̼̬̟͐̊̂t̶̖̄͂̅̃̍͐̊̑̅͜͝h̴̢̛͙̪̞̫̝̺̋̅̿͛̇̚͝͝ͅͅȩ̶͉̤͍̠́̈͑̏͋̚͘͝ ̸̢̨̧͚̖̤̪̬̪̀̉̐͗̂͆͑̚̕̚c̴̠̩̳͎̲̪͔̟̈́͂̉͑́l̶̡̲̻̣̘̏́ͅo̶̢̧͔͈̬̳̰͈̝̻͌̋̆̃͒͗̏͘ş̴̪̺̣̥̎̽̿͗̒́͛̕̚̚e̴̺͍̤͖͂̇͑͂̋͂̆̾r̴̨̩̈́͋͠ ̷̧͚̲̩̖̋͒̉́͗y̶̘̖̝̑̈͊ǒ̵͚̽u̵͎͍̇̀̏̊̕͝ŕ̷͎̜̘͙̀̋ ̶͇̲̝̞̖̝̣̘̝̬͋d̷͔͈͔̀̿õ̴̝̯͇̹̘̏͗͜ö̵͚͓͆m̵͉̦̫̥̦̞̫͐̆͐̿͊͒͌͋͜.̷̼͈̻̥̜̾̏͐̾̐͆͘͜
You gasp, as you startle awake, and open your eyes for the first time in a long time.
no subject
[ It’s easy for him to admit. He doesn’t so much as hesitate in the steps of the dance or even what he feels. In part, it’s because he’s already had this conversation before. He knows that Matt takes the information well, though he doesn’t fully understand why.
Yet, there’s just as much a part that’s just the time he’s had since. There were people that loathed what he was and what he did, certainly… But not nearly as many as he would have expected. He feels more confident in admitting his true thoughts, since they’ve rarely been met with the sort of backlash that would have him delicately hide them behind all his perfect manners. ]
The Covenants I offer are simple, really. I give myself over to my master and grant their deepest wishes. No matter the wish, I will see it delivered to them. The young master’s is the only one I have ever failed, technically speaking.
[ …He doesn’t count it, though. The circumstances were so far outside of his control that it seemed unfair as a mark on his otherwise perfect record. ]
And when I have given them their wish… Their soul is mine. That is always the price I ask. [ He shrugs gently ] It was the young master's poor luck that he did not intend to summon me at all, but he still desired my power. So, I imagine he would be very pleased to deny me the fruits of my years of laboring for him.
nsfw musings
It's not because he's upset, per se. The story Sebastian tells fills in the dim shape of demons are dangerous with excruciating particulars, making his chest ache with a helix of sadness and bittersweet satisfaction for the boy Ciel. But Matt's actual, physical shock comes not from anger or indignation, but from recognition: he recalls Sebastian's hand on his cock, his tongue dragging over the emerald lotus that houses Matt's soul. A hunger that grows sharper and deeper the more it tastes.
He recovers himself, sliding Sebastian a glance that's apologetic--but a little distracted. ]
I see.
[ He doesn't ask what could have possibly motivated a kid to ask for a demon's power, and at so towering a price. For one thing, morally bankrupt people exist, but more crucially ... life isn't fair. And it isn't fair to children. He's curious about Ciel's situation, but he doesn't have to stir his imagination very far to imagine the kind of circumstance that could prompt a child to lash out, out, out--and reach into the void. ]
no subject
No, Sebastian’s attention is so wholly focused on Matt that he doesn’t think it’s worth pointing out. No matter how many times he watches someone come to this sort of understanding, he’ll always enjoy it. Deception is practically his nature, and yet he loves to see people push through and see him for what he is. In part, at least. There are few that truly manage it. ]
Do you dislike it?
[ “It” is intentionally vague too. “It” could be many things, and it’s just as telling which one Matt picks here. ]
no subject
It makes me sad, [ he answers eventually. ] Whatever brought him to that place. [ And it's true: There's an undertow of grief to his emotions, dragging everything else--apprehension, horror, uncertainty--down with it. He hesitates. ] I don't know what "dislike" would ... really mean, though, in this context.
Do you mean do I wish you were different?
no subject
It could mean many things. [ He at least “elaborates” with that much so that it’s clear that he’s intentionally vague. ] But that is an interesting one.
[ It really is a dance that’s ill-fitting for the conversation, but he rather enjoys that. It may not be the intimate waltz, but with how he matches Matt’s less brisk steps, it feels a little more intense. Or perhaps that’s just the natural effect of Sebastian’s attention when it’s so focused. ]
Do you?
[ There’s no accusation or distaste in the question. Whatever the answer, it seems like he’s simply curious to know it. ]
no subject
Maybe I should, [ Matt admits with a frown. He's quiet for a long moment after that--long enough for the song to begin winding down, though Matt's not familiar enough with the music of this time ad place to know it. ] I just think everything exists for a reason. Everyone. And I don't want to ... try to pressure anyone to go against their nature. I mean, I don't want to tolerate cruelty or abuse-- [ A quick smile Sebastian's way, faint. It could almost be a challenge, or even a tease. Sorry. ] --but I think everyone deserves to be loved for what they are.
[ Matt sucks in a breath. That was a lot to say while moving so quickly. And though he started answering the question thinking only of Sebastian, he finds himself thinking about other people he's met here. Silco. Amos. Tezcatlipoca. ]
no subject
The answer makes sense with what he knows of Matt. It’s part of what intrigued him about the young man. It’s delightfully idealistic, and it’s the sort of thing that Sebastian had once taken a sort of wicked pleasure in questioning. Does everything exist for a reason? It’s a charmingly human way of viewing the world, and Sebastian doesn’t agree with it. But it’s more interesting in this case because it’s not as if Sebastian can puncture the point of view by stating his own existence. Matt already knows and still seems to believe it, so—
It's just as they step off the dance floor that Matt gives the last part of his answer. The faint smile had been met with one that’s a little sly, but it’s truly only for a moment before Sebastian is completely taken aback. The first part may be what he expected, but this extra caveat to it is decidedly not. At the very least, it deftly cuts through that dark attention. ]
…Why loved?
[ That word is the sticking point, naturally. Friendship alone is rare enough that Sebastian had thought he might tease about how Matt had used it earlier, so “love” might as well be a foreign language. Even if it’s a more platonic version of love, it still feels baffling for someone to want to apply to him. ]
Rather— [ He corrects himself as his posture relaxes from their dancing stances, but he continues to hold Matt’s hand if only to lead him towards refreshments, since it seems most of the dancers are a bit tired after the song too. ] Surely not everyone.
no subject
Everyone, [ he confirms. He doesn't necessarily sound pleased as he says it, nor amorous in any recognizable way. His emotions are cloudy. There's a hint of sadness, of uncertainty, tendrils of feeling weaving together and then unweaving. At his center, though, there's a quiet that almost feels like peace. ] There are a lot of different kinds of love, of course--eros is the one we think of a lot of the time, but there's also agape. Spiritual love, sacrificial love. And terms like ishq that kind of blend the two.
What I'm thinking of would be ... as close as I can get to the concept of bhakti. Love for all creation.
no subject
There are plenty who would disagree with the sentiment. Both that all creation should be loved, or what counts as “Creation” at all.
[ The words would also probably sound accusatory from most, but he’s pointing it out matter-of-factly. It’s also an invisible benefit of Sebastian’s time in Kenos rather than the first time they’d met in “Horos”. There, he probably would have veiled the sentiments more sweetly to lead Matt towards a perception that was perhaps warmer, but false. By now, Sebastian is at least more honest to others about his thoughts. ]
…It is not something I understand well, regardless. It is not something my kind feel. [ He cants his head lightly, and pauses, but he decides to add the clarification after all. ] Nor is it something we are given, hence my confusion.
[ Without barely offering them so much as a glance, Sebastian delicately takes a flute of champagne from the servant with a tray that wanders by. Hopefully Matt wasn’t craving water, since this is a party… But Sebastian holds it out for Matt to take. ]
no subject
Well ... I don't know how much of a favor it is to offer you something you can't feel, [ he notes wryly. ] Except I guess-- [ And his free hand lifts, fingers sketching a circle in the air to indicate the two of them. ]
But you have it. [ Another sip, as Matt's gaze drops from Sebastian to the bubbles fizzing in the flute. ] I don't really talk about it much, so I'm sure I'm not making a ton of sense. It's not anything I was raised with, like as a religious tradition or anything, it's just ... what feels right to me.
no subject
That is why it is curious to me, perhaps. I have not heard anything like it, or at least nothing that has stood up to scrutiny, as it were. Yet to be stereotypical for but a moment, perhaps that is better, for religious traditions are rather…
[ He doesn’t finish the sentence as he trails off with a knowing smile. It doesn’t really need to be said that a demon wouldn’t have the most positive opinion of religion. But it at least serves well to lighten his mood a bit back to a pleasant, cool neutral. ]
I would still think of it as a favor, though. There are simply things that are not in my nature, but that does not mean I cannot appreciate them. It is just with more… distance, I suppose I would call it.
[ It’s swung back to this after all, so he laughs gently as he gives a little shrug. ]
There have only been two people that ever called me a friend, for example. So, bhakti is a bit more than that, which is why it is a surprise. I do not expect such things, much less when I am known for what I am.
[ And though that sentiment would seem sad from most, there’s not even a trace of that from Sebastian. It’s not something he says with the intent of garnering pity—it’s only explanatory for his surprise. ]
no subject
He also can't help but wonder if it's morally defensible to love a creature who eats the souls of children. At the very least, it seems all too easy for that love to go wrong. Which is Matt's fundamental problem, really, but he sees no reason to bother Sebastian with those qualms. They're Matt's to figure out. ]
I don't know how anybody could see what you are and not feel some bhakti, [ he notes, quiet but amused. ] It's, um. Awe-inspiring. Or maybe the inverse of awe.
[ But awe and its inverse, for all practical purposes, strike Matt as the same sensation. The same spiritual free fall, the same smallness in the face of something vast. ]
no subject
…It is the inverse I accustomed to receiving, admittedly. So, if that is your feeling, I must compliment you on keeping your composure so well.
[ Granted, Matt hadn’t seen or experienced all of what lies behind Sebastian’s mask of a human form. The shadows are a fragment of it, and he can see how there’s some beauty in those. But the formless mass of shadow, teeth, and eyes is a different story, he imagines. It’s also why he’s very careful in keeping it hidden, though there’s a not insignificant part that’s simple vanity, in that case.
He steps further to the side of the ballroom and nods for Matt to join him. He leads them towards one of the windows, though there’s not all that much to see, admittedly. Beyond the deck of the ship, there’s the endless dark of the ocean and a clear sky above. It’s rather fitting to the conversation, at least, though the setting isn’t something Sebastian had picked intentional in that respect. ]
Forgive me my questions as well. You are a curious fellow. [ He always has been, technically, but he avoids speaking of the Matt he’d met in Horos now. ] It is why I enjoy our conversations, though. I may have found more acceptance in Kenos than would have ever been possible where I am from, but it is still rarely from humans that are… Of a normal character, shall we say.
[ He’s putting it politely when he really means “insane freaks”. This will only be stressed when he wakes up to a horrible cult, ]
no subject
He smiles faintly, shaking his head. ]
Don't worry about asking questions. [ How many people can he be positive genuinely enjoy talking to him? The thought slides through his mind, then down and away. ] I don't often get accused of being normal. Even if it's at the same time I'm being called curious.
no subject
Would you like to step outside? It will be cold, but you may use my jacket. I do not need it.
[ something something the cold never bothered him anyway. But regardless, he laughs a little and bows his head in a little apology. ]
Ah, but I do not mean it rudely, so do pardon me for that... I call you curious as a compliment, I swear it!
[ Though his tone is playful, it's clear that he really does mean it that way. But he does just like "abnormal" people, so. Maybe it's not a full compliment considering who it's coming from. Is it a good thing to be interesting to a demon? ]
no subject
I didn't think you meant it in a rude way, [ he assures him with a grin. ] There just strikes me as a bit of ... a natural tension between normalcy and curiosity? Although I guess that's normal too, in a way. Most of us contain some kind of contradiction.
[ For the offer, he nods pleasantly. ] Outside sounds nice. I was just thinking that I miss the ocean.
[ Go figure: If it's vast, unknowable, and deadly, Matt wants to be near it. He smiles at Sebastian, happy to accept his jacket and proceed outside. It occurs to him he has one more question for him, and the relative privacy of the chill evening is a good venue for it. ]
no subject
[ He unbuttons his jacket as they head to the door, then hands it off before he actually opens it. At least for being a formal suit jacket, it’s warm since it’s fine wool, since Sebastian just prefers nicer things. It’s also evident by the cologne that clings to the jacket just enough to be noted. It’s a warm, complex scent.
…And it’s something that’s needed, since as soon as he opens the door, there’s a burst of cold air. Yet, cheater that he is, Sebastian doesn’t even flinch. ]
…If you need something warmer, I can conjure it, at least once we are away from the ballroom. I do not know how all of this works, but assuming that it follows the same rules, outing myself as a devil would cause quite a panic, naturally.
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It's definitely cold out here at night, but for the moment, Matt's satisfied with Sebastian's extra layer. He inhales, breathing in the scent of sea air and rich cologne. countdown to him asking sebastian to manifest more clothes so matt can steal them ]
That'd be undeniably interesting, [ he allows, vis-a-vis a satanic panic. ] I can't tell whether it'd help or not in searching. Depends whether people cleared out or picked up pitchforks, I guess.
[ Buttoning Sebastian's jacket against the chill, Matt proceeds towards the railing and leans against it. He peers out across the water, up at the clear night sky. ]
I meant to ask you, [ he adds, once Sebastian's drawn near enough that he can speak quietly. ] About, uh--this business. [ He tilts his head, arch of his neck accentuating the ribbon still tied there. ] My instinct in terms of who else to bring in, or mention it to, was "absolutely no one." But is there anyone you'd want me to team up with?
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[ He politely closes the door after them, but he laughs as he steps up to the railing as well. It's an amusing topic as well as one with a rich history, after all. ]
Thus, it likely would not be helpful on the ship, I imagine. I imagine they would feel cornered enough that it would be a whole mess of things. All things considered, I would just play dead and let them throw me overboard. Though that would not work so well for you, admittedly...
[ His gaze is drawn down, but though he looks to the water below, he ends up tracking down the length of the boat. He's looking for signs of things being amiss below, but so far, it seems quiet. The Bizarre Dolls must not have made it out of cargo yet, so that's good.
When Matt speaks again of a question, Sebastian looks back to him with a light noise, but it turns to a little frown. It's reflexive in a way that at first implies that Matt's instinct is correct, but as Sebastian considers it a moment more... He sighs. ]
I do not know if it is a matter of wanting, for he would be a most irritating cretin about it, for you and for me. So, do feel free to ignore him entirely. [ Oh, the passive aggressive is coming out, it's fine. ] But Nb Set is aware of it as well as what it does. Our relationship is such that I would extend him trust on the matter, loath as I am to admit it.
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[ This is 100% a joke, if Matt's emotions (and the fact that he can't say the lines with a straight face) are anything to go by. He'd absolutely fight on Sebastian's behalf against a boatful of pitchfork-wielding townsfolk. What would pitchforks be on the ocean, tridents? Still, maybe betrayal is too sensitive a topic right now, even in joke form. Even after everything Matt's said to him tonight. He sobers quickly just in case.
Emotionally. Alcohol-wise, he takes another drink of champagne. ]
I see. [ His eyebrows arch for irritating cretin. Matt's not surprised, strictly speaking. Set seems to him to shift like sand: one moment wise and thoughtful, then irascible, then weeping miserably. (That last one was probably a special case.) But Sebastian's not a human, so maybe he sees dependability differently. ] If I can ask, um ...
Why do you trust him? Or, what do you trust him to do?
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Oh, you know that would hardly matter. I am sure they would simply throw you in with me, for you should not have been seduced by my wiles at all! Why, just imagine the gossip taking place now… Two gentlemen having a dance without even having asked a lady first?
[ He tuts with mocking chiding, because actually, he finds the etiquette more ridiculous. He leans against the railing too, and having finished his appraisal to his liking, smiles back at Matt. ]
You and I will be the talk of the ship, for all… Oh, four hours or so that remain?
[ So, indeed. Why not have fun with it? There’s an impermanence to these worlds that Sebastian does enjoy. It allows him a bit of reckless fun that he usually doesn’t allow himself. But, speaking of the patron god of it… His smile stays in place, though it’s more thoughtful. ]
…It is more what I trust him not to do, honestly. He is annoying and boastful, and he will take every liberty to make my life more difficult for the sheer fun of it, but he knows there are boundaries that cannot be crossed. And he knows the consequences for doing so, for we are the same in this respect. Our grudges’ patience is measured in centuries, and when it comes, it is devastating.
[ He shrugs gently ]
Whether he would assist or not, I do not know, mind you. But I have a suspicion that he might be inclined to share his thoughts with you, at least.
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Gosh, a scandal, [ he says. ] And I thought I was being so proper! I even curtsied.
[ Is there nothing that'll please these people?
Matt shifts, stepping closer to Sebastian as he joins him at the railing. As long as they're enmeshed in sudden scandal, may as well give any prurient observers a little show. As Sebastian goes on, explaining, Matt listens as closely as before; but his gaze drifts from him and back out to sea. Our grudges' patience is measured in centuries. He makes a soft hum, agreeing. ]
Well, [ he says eventually. ] I'll plan to see what we can learn from a scry. But that's good to know. Set and I don't always see eye to eye, I don't think, but I appreciate his perspective. I mean-- [ Another huff of breath, this one a bit frustrated. Matt can never seem to articulate how he feels about the various gods in this place. Only with Quetzalcoatl had he come close, and now she's gone. ] Yeah. I do.
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As do I, and perhaps with the same amount of reservation, though I imagine not the same ones precisely.
[ Definitely not, considering Sebastian and Set do usually see eye to eye… But, no need to point that part out. ]
…Though I do imagine I have something of an advantage when dealing with him, for the ways we think are similar. I also have gotten the impression that I am more used to being around humans than he. So, from the sounds of it, I am not surprised that you may have found him vexing.
[ If that little huff was anything to go by, at least. ]
If it is not prying to ask, what is it that you did not agree on?
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There are things Matt isn't sure about yet, but he doesn't think that counts as disagreement. Set could be right, after all. After a moment, he realizes he's been kind of staring blankly at Sebastian, and he laughs sheepishly. ]
Ah ...
Maybe it's more than we don't see eye to eye, if that makes sense. Our lenses are different. And I value that in people, I really do.
[ He's just not used to finding the experience quite so disorienting. ]
I don't think he likes me much, [ he offers eventually. ] But last time we talked, he said he was willing to work with me, so for your purposes, I don't think there's any problem.
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It makes perfect sense to me, actually. It is a metaphor I am fond of, for I would say the same for myself. The “lens” I use to view the world is fundamentally different from yours, and it is fundamentally different from Set’s as well.
[ Another nod follows, since it’s just a slight elaboration to say that he understands the disconnect. Digging into it further would change the direction of the conversation, so he continues. ]
But I will say if he is willing to work with you, that is a good sign. I do not always understand his whims, especially when it comes to those he likes or dislikes, but he is still direct with them. If he dislikes you, he will simply say so. [ A pause, and then: ] …Or kill you, since you have chosen Zenith, but that is more a tactical consideration than a personal one if he has not expressed his distaste.
[ Probably, anyways. This is actually an area where Sebastian is more mistaken than he’s aware of, but that’s been something very, very intentional on Set’s part. In truth, Set’s heart was gentler than Sebastian understood, and he’d taken great care to be sure that Sebastian didn’t know that. It would be akin to exposing your underbelly, at least between the two of them. ]
Ah, but do not be surprised if he is particularly nosy about your offering assistance. I imagine he will find it very interesting, and unfortunately, he will not let anything he deems “interesting” go in the slightest.
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