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THE ADVOCATE ORACLE - A RIP VAN WINKLE IN TIME

Sweet dreams are made of Bliss

As the twilight falls, and bearers begin to tuck in for their evenings on the night of the 15th of March (OOC time) and whether they tuck themselves into bed fully, or simply drift away in the middle of their dinner, work, indulgences, or what have you; bearers will fall into a deep, deep sleep. Perhaps you slump in your chair, or you wrap your arms around a teddy bear, or partner, or cup a precious shard in your sleep, it doesn’t matter, because as you drift away, into a sleep that seems to tug you under like the undertow itself, a question will echo in bearer’s minds: “If given the choice, would you show compassion in the face of adversity?”

It sticks with you, even as you fall into a dreamless sleep. As if it rotates in your mind, over and over, letting you worm over that. You know for certain what it is, that it is the calming, soothing voice of the Oracle, reaching out to you across the ether, telling you – promise you – that if you accept its promise, you will find that the Oracle could be in your hands. That thought leads you to dream of something else – of home, or your loved ones – of what you are fighting this war for. Even as you dream, you feel a presence next to you, and unlike the Harbinger’s winding, rough digging, this is more akin to a friend, who is asking you soft, coaxing questions. Things like: what was your childhood like? What were your friends like? What did you do? You cannot help but think of them, think of your home and your loved ones. Of where you came from, and how it made you what you are.

The advocate seeks to understand you, and where you come from. You can feel it, that overwhelming Acceptance and love from it, even as you reminisce, compelled to answer the multitude of questions, you can feel something building behind you, around you. “Don’t you want them all to understand this?” the impression is given through communion, and you cannot help but answer: yes.

Click your Heels together, Dorothy!

As you awake for the first time, it’s alien, the world that meets you. New smells fill your nostrils, new sights, the gravity is perhaps different than you’ve gotten used to on Kenos, even those slight shifts enough to make the world feel wholly different. You remember the advocate’s words, and it wants you to feel what it feels. Understanding. Compassion, and perhaps there is a sense that doing so would hurt yourself in turn, if you understood too much. That is the advocate’s way, after all, isn’t it?

You feel an inexorable, slight tug in your chest. Something subtle and gentle, the slightest of sensations, that gives you a direction. You know it, your mind only just now comprehending the advocate’s confusing impressions via communion, that there is something of this world’s… Soul/center/heart or whatever word you want to use for it. Something about this world that will help you along your path, and help you with the results you so desire. You know it will not guarantee a victory, but surely it will help. Especially as your numbers dwindle from world to world. You are left with an impression from the Advocate -- if you die, they cannot bring you back. There is apology in this, but alone, one oracle is limited. Only united, can they truly change your fate.

The lingering presence of the advocate starts to fade. You know this is a bearer’s world, if not your own. You look around, to see perhaps a familiar face nearby? Or perhaps you are alone. Does it matter? You know that this place belongs to a bearer, but whether they are a friend or an enemy, one has to begin to determine that. You’ll need your wits, you’ll need your strength and resolve to make it to the end of this, won’t you?

After all, as bearers were recently reminded: this is War. This is not simply the fate of this world, but perhaps all, as it will require you to find the answer to this question. So you start to move, you start to look around, explore, and search. For the soul of each world, for the bearers that lie dreaming within, and your foes that will seek you out. Stay steadfast, for the way out will come, if you make it to the end. The longer you spend in each world, however, the more the shadows look darker, and deeper. Hungrier. The more the spaces seem smaller or compressed. As if there is something gnawing away at the sides, making their way to the heart.

Around the world in ~~60 seconds~~ 12 hours

When you find yourself at the end, when you close your eyes – only a blink, but it hangs, as if the momentary motion is enough to suspend you into a suspended space before. You can see the two options stretched out before you – metaphysically – the impression of it. A long, long shadow cast over one. As if there is a presence hovering over and above, like waiting jaws, ready to strike. In the other, there remains…nothing. It is not pleasant, it is not comforting, it simply… is. A sense that there is now a lack of anything, almost like it had never existed before.

Does this world have value? You can feel the Advocate ask. Do you want to give them a chance to live? Or does should this world cease, is there nothing here to save?

And though you are compelled, required to answer, you know this question for what it is. Short-sighted. Both, in the end, will lead to its destruction, but which will you choose? Will you allow the world to continue, even with that long shadow cast, like a hungry beast with snapping jaws; or will you erase it from existence and spare it that oncoming apocalypse?

Catch [???] Winks

The last world’s fate decided, bearers float in an endless sea of stars. You can see them all, spread before you. Intermittently, they wink out, swallowed into the darkness, consumed as the shadows, that inky-black nothingness grows ever-larger. It looks upon you, bearers. It is nothing, but you have its attention, and your blood runs cold, your limbs frozen. You cannot move, you cannot speak, you cannot breathe. You feel it, the power of being drawn into it, like it wants to consume you. Like it knows you.

T̸̢̼̯͓̬̘́̀̋̆͊h̷͔̣̱̝͍̬̣͕̄̂͗̆͒͌͜ͅẹ̶̱̩̅͒̿̇͠ ̵̭̹͇͖̔̀ṃ̸̢̧͙̟̼̜͌͆̍͝͝ͅo̴̟̞̓̆̇̐̆͊̽͆̂̀r̶͈̺̮̠͙̗͌ę̸̤̻̈́͐͂̓̊͐̂͆ ̵̡̛͎̩̳̤͔͚̱̼̆̒̓y̴̺̞̹̺̝̤͂ǫ̷̡̣̱̥͊̈́̓͑̕͘ű̵̼͜͜ ̶̨̨̝̟̘̱͇̲̻̪̊͂̽̈̒͊f̴̱̐͌̌̓̋̔́̀͝i̶͖̤͎̬̝̦͒̂g̸̳̰̟̀̓̽̈́̐h̸̼͍̮͎̊̅͗͊̈͋̽̀͘t̴͔͚́̓,̷̨̧̱̠̙̠̙̱̒̍̽̾ ̷̖̰̼̬̟͐̊̂t̶̖̄͂̅̃̍͐̊̑̅͜͝h̴̢̛͙̪̞̫̝̺̋̅̿͛̇̚͝͝ͅͅȩ̶͉̤͍̠́̈͑̏͋̚͘͝ ̸̢̨̧͚̖̤̪̬̪̀̉̐͗̂͆͑̚̕̚c̴̠̩̳͎̲̪͔̟̈́͂̉͑́l̶̡̲̻̣̘̏́ͅo̶̢̧͔͈̬̳̰͈̝̻͌̋̆̃͒͗̏͘ş̴̪̺̣̥̎̽̿͗̒́͛̕̚̚e̴̺͍̤͖͂̇͑͂̋͂̆̾r̴̨̩̈́͋͠ ̷̧͚̲̩̖̋͒̉́͗y̶̘̖̝̑̈͊ǒ̵͚̽u̵͎͍̇̀̏̊̕͝ŕ̷͎̜̘͙̀̋ ̶͇̲̝̞̖̝̣̘̝̬͋d̷͔͈͔̀̿õ̴̝̯͇̹̘̏͗͜ö̵͚͓͆m̵͉̦̫̥̦̞̫͐̆͐̿͊͒͌͋͜.̷̼͈̻̥̜̾̏͐̾̐͆͘͜

You gasp, as you startle awake, and open your eyes for the first time in a long time.

CODING

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[Wanting to focus on literally anything else but the smell of cooked meat wafting from the communal space, Jade listens to the children and their exchange with Dimitri, her frown turning into some small hint of a smile.

["You seem strong enough to wrestle a whole boar by yourself!"

[And then Jade just snorts, grateful to have their attention temporarily on Dimitri rather than herself. It's not that she isn't good with kids -- she very much is, in fact. But this whole scene, this situation... hits a little close to home, in ways that make her blood run cold.

[After a moment, she finally speaks up:] Is there any kinda leadership around here?

["Oh, yes, but he doesn't eat with us."

[Jade cants her head.]

How come?

[The young jinba just shrugs, as one of them trots off to finish preparing the meal. Odd...]

Strange.

[ Dimitri murmurs to her. ]

Do you think it has anything to do with the shard-?

[ Then he has to tear away from her because there's more questions and childish yells and one of them is just walking between his forelegs. Oh, they're little balls of chaos, as most children are. ]

Whoa there-

[ He bends down to scoop the small child up, who seems very happy to be lifted and he tugs on Dimitri's hair. ]

Don't go tripping me up.

[Before Jade can ask any questions herself, she's surprised just by how much the young jinba express their excitement over their new guests. It's endearing, in a way... especially to someone more used to scathing remarks and glares. Not often is she met with such fondness.

[Even though they probably have other, more important matters to be concerned about, Jade can't help but find it charming how Dimitri just sweeps the scrambling child out from under him like they were nothing more than a sack of grain. She didn't know what to expect from him in this sort of setting, but...]

You, uh... any good with kids?

[It probably goes without saying, but Jade can't deny her curiosity when she sits down, where a young jinba girl seems to be admiring her long braid. She doesn't even mind when the girl simply takes the lock of hair into her small hands, but Jade doesn't seem to mind.]

Well, I try to be-

[ Dimitri laughs sheepishly as the child continues to examine his hair. Apparently he's fond of it. ]

I want them to grow up in a world without hardship. Maybe that's impossible, but... I think they deserve a chance.

[ "There's food!"

One of the older children approaches a little cautiously with a pair of bowls for them - it's not exactly fine-dining, but it is a hot meal! ]

Doesn't seem like you have to try that hard.

[Jade isn't sure she believes these kids will be allowed to grow up devoid of strife. After seeing what little she did of the situation with the humans, hearing them talk about what happened to their parents...

[Well, it seems they've suffered enough. But the least she can do is make sure that they don't endure a worse fate than the one they've been given already.

[When the food is served, Jade offers a stiff "thanks" before staring down at her bowl. There is meat in there -- particularly the kind she doesn't eat. And though she can't deny that a peculiar part of herself is craves some sort of sustenance for reasons she doesn't entirely understand, the smell and texture of it puts her off.

["Do you know how to skin a boar?" she remembers those kids asking.

(First off with the skin, slice up the belly, then out with the entrails.)

[Sure. Of course she does. Jade pales. She knows how to skin a cadaver all too well.]

I, um... I don't think I'm very hungry. [She keeps her voice low so only Dimitri can hear, not wanting to offend their young hosts.]

[ Dimitri is digging in rather doggedly. The taste isn't terrible, it's mostly just a bit bland. He pauses, hand poised as Jade seems to falter. He glances at her, then at their hosts, and leans over to hold his bowl out. ]

...I'll take what you don't want, if it's too much.

[ His reply is equally low. No point in making themselves offensive or to try and stand out more than they do. ]

Are you alright?

[Bland is fine. Having lived on the streets for so long, fine-dining was something she was neither used to nor expected. She especially wouldn't anticipate a ragtag group of children to be armed with refined culinary knowledge beyond what was necessary to survive.

[And they've had to survive in such cruel circumstances, haven't they?]

I'm f... fine. This is just... too much.

[She slides the bowl over to Dimitri completely. With a small pat over the head of the jinba girl sitting beside her, Jade scrambles up to her hooves again. Her long, wobbly legs carry her away from the gathering to find someplace dark and quiet, to just bury her face in her hands for a while. Putting on a mask for these kids, especially in light of what happened in her own world, has a way of making her feel as though she's drowning all over again.]

Edited 2024-03-24 19:01 (UTC)

Jade-

[ Dimitri wants to reach out, but he's juggling a bowl and children and so he has to take a moment. He watches her go at first and then he manages to follow after a few minutes. He'll be back, he says. Don't worry.

His legs carry him further into the trees, his eye peeled for signs of his companion. ]

Are you here?

[ He hopes she hasn't completely left the area... but one can never tell. ]

[With the children preoccupied with their meal and each other, it wasn't too hard for Jade to slip away. The absence of someone of her size and the novelty of her company probably should be noticeable, but she's always had a way of making herself unnoticed when she wants to be.

[Not that she made her usual great efforts when she absconded from Dimitri's side, having swiftly found refuge between some trees, where she's propped her shoulder against to rest and her legs tucked under her. She can still hear the children in the distance, and the flickering light of their campfire illuminating the night.

[Even when a muffled scream rings out, she barely flinches. When you spend enough time inside your own head, discerning such noise from reality to phantoms blur together a bit.

[But then she hears Dimitri's voice afterwards. This time, she does flinch, fighting her instincts to flee.

[Not like she could run even if she tried, shaking like she is.]

Here. Right here.

[Breathe in, breathe out.]

Sorry. Felt crowded. Everything was happening so fast. [As things tend to be around children. No time to breathe or linger on the reality that their hours here were limited.] I mean... There's no way to help them, is there? Of course there isn't.

[ Dimitri probably understands that more than she knows - of course, he's unaware of whatever issues plague her. Only that she left the group behind and he's followed out of concern. He pauses as he notices the way she seems to shiver. He frowns, not quite sure whether to approach closer or draw away to give her distance. ]

No... that's alright.

[ He stands there for a long moment, thinking of what he ought to say or do. Then he slowly sinks down to join her, gaze distant. ]

...we can only do our best. Even if our help is small, even if it doesn't last... we'll have made their world a little brighter while we're here. And I think that's worth doing.

[As if to better ground herself, Jade plants her palms over the earth. Her gloved fingers curl into the dirt as she tries to process... everything. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the texture. All of it is unfamiliar and yet none of it matters. It exists.]

I know. And I we're just passengers, but... These worlds, these... Eventualities. They're real enough to the people living in it, y'know?

[They have to be. Otherwise Rynéus just died all over again for no other reason than to torture her, and he never would have wanted that. But for that brief period they were together again, she got to appreciate it a little more, knowing what she does since losing him the first time.

[And before she realizes it, she's crying again. Jade curses under her breath, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand, and a flustered grunt.]

Dammit. Thought I was doing pretty okay after those last few worlds. Guess I just didn't want those kids to see me like this. [She forces a shaky laugh, masking a sob.] Adults are supposed to keep their shit together.

[And the children of this village deserve someone strong and reliable. Not some pathetic urchin who got their family killed, who has been hanging on by a thread well before even inheriting this whole mess.]

...they're all real.

[ Dimitri agrees sadly. He thinks every last one of these is a true world. A piece of the tapestry of the universe. It's why he despises whatever this Oblivion is; why he cannot side with Zenith that says there is no hope for any of them, that all there is is the acceptance of a long defeat. ]

And that means we just... we have to do our best to do what we can for them. To give them a little more cheer, a little bit more strength. And hope that it will help them in the end.

[ He settles a bit closer, awkward at first, but he offers his side to lay against, an arm around her shoulders, to help ease the tears. To provide a moment of connection in this long, strange, dream-like sojourn. ]

If there's anything I've learned in my life... it's that we adults often don't know everything. And sometimes we're just as lost as the children. We just have to pretend we aren't.

[There are going to be dissenting opinions, she knows. People who will insist the worlds aren't real, that they're just dreams or facsimiles, or that letting them go will be the most merciful thing to do. As the "Prophetess", however, Jade had started to feel more and more connected to the fabric of her world. Maybe she was deluding herself into thinking that was still the case, in some small and distant manner.

["What is reality, anyway?"

[The cold saltwater filling her lungs may as well be her reality. The last dream that lasts forever. But she'll still fight until the very end with tooth and claw.]

In the end. [Jade echoes, wincing at first, but not shrinking away when Dimitri moves closer. Despite her scars making her look like someone who wouldn't appreciate physical contact much, she appreciates the earnest gesture all the more.]

I had to pretend a lot for my little sister, even when I was just a stupid kid, myself. I can do it again for these guys.

[Even if it didn't do her kin any good, even if it won't do these jinba any good. Jade has to take a moment to draw in a long breath, close her eyes, and dry her tears.

[It'll all be over soon.]

We won't have much time here, so... I guess we should make the most of it.

A part of me feels like I've spent so much of my life pretending.

[ He admits that with a sad little smile. ]

But someone has to help carry the weight and it may as well be me.

[ Even if this all ends, even if this doesn't last... giving them something to reach for, to hope, to laugh - it's worth doing. And it always will be. ]

Maybe we can help them clean up... after all, we are guests, aren't we?

[Each mask Jade wore throughout her life was a form of self preservation, one way or another. The brave older sister who defied their father to protect her sibling. The hardened street urchin who wasn't afraid to lie, cheat, and steal. The obedient slave who did everything that was asked of her, until one day she couldn't. The Prophetess on a noble mission to save the world.

[The masks get heavy with every one, weighing her down over the years. She's so tired.]

Yeah... Yeah, that would be best.

[She swallows, trying to choke back another cry. The last thing she wants is for one of the jinba to hear and find her like this.]

Probably should've mentioned this sooner, but... [She attempts to try and sound a little lighter, a shivering laugh. Because she truly does feel absurd when she tells Dimitri:] I, uh... I don't eat m-meat.

[Another strange laugh.]

Blazes. It sounds so banal when I say it out loud.

Well... that's fine. There's no harm done, is there?

[ Dimitri offers a smile and a squeeze of her shoulder. Their new bodies make it slightly awkward, but he does offer her his shoulder to cry on if she wants to let a little bit more of it out. There's something to be said for the catharsis... or at least the relief of pressure. ]

I don't know your reasons behind it, but... if it disturbed you I can understand why. It was a bit sudden.

[ There's no judgement there. Maybe some curiosity, but not a hint of finding her unacceptable for it. ]

We can take a little longer, I think, if you need to. Let's not rush things.

[Jade didn't know what she expected, but patience wasn't it. She doesn't want to stay here forever, but the last thing she wants is to return to the children with weepy eyes and on the verge of tears again.

[So she breathes. Calms her nerves. Her hand rests on the back of her forearm, where the burn scars reach up to her shoulder.]

Sudden, but still pathetic. I see corpses all the damned time, but can't even handle the smell of cooked meat sometimes? Makes my stomach turn. [She pauses, attempting a lighter note:] Doubly so with two stomachs right now. That... probably didn't help.

[These bodies feel strange, especially when she becomes aware from time to time of how the extra parts of her twitch and her tail flicks.]

...I think I understand that, at least, better than you might know.

[ He smiles a bit sadly. ]

I used to see and hear ghosts. Less, now. Now only in dreams. But... for a long time I talked to the dead. I'm sure the new body doesn't help though, yes.

[ He's happy to sit. To listen. To be ready to support. ]

[Ouch. That. Hits close to home, much like how all of this does.]

Real ones, or the ones in your head? I've had both.

[She chuckles weakly.]

I know what it's like not to be able to escape that shit in your dreams. Seems all of this has kinda been a respite, in a sad way. Haven't felt the need for sleep since it all started.

[Which likely comes to no surprise that she looks like she hadn't slept in decades. Mostly because she more or less hasn't.

[Her gloved fingers clasp around her burnt arm even more, remembering the agony when they had been still fresh. It would be a relief if the fire didn't continue to burn when she closes her eyes.]

Truthfully, I don't know. They seemed real enough to me at the time.

[ But he has no way of knowing - and in the end, does it matter? ]

Do you have trouble sleeping? [ He cocks his head with a slight frown, turning an idea over in his head. ]

...someone gifted me a small charm that helps with that. If you'd like, when we get back, I can loan it to you to see if it helps.

Hm. Fair enough.

[To Jade, it really doesn't matter. The way she sees it, reality is just a matter of perspective.

[Much like what they're going through right now.

[What Dimitri offers does pique her curiosity, as Jade casts him a glance, brow raised. And then she makes an effort to crack a smile and a light jab:]

...Mysir Bladdittityblut, are you trying to charm me? [And then she nudges him with her shoulder.] I'm sure those living within my vicinity would appreciate that, so I'll... consider it. I've ways of coping, but they're not always available -- or reliable.

Charm you...?

[ He does not quite correct her on the name. ]

Oh, no I'm just - I'm trying to be helpful, that's all. Seeing someone in distress... or needing help... I suppose it's just a reaction I have.

[ He's a helper. ]

[When Dimitri seems to have misread her comment, Jade lets out a quiet laugh.]

Y'know, I was trying to make a joke... Guess I should've figured you were the type who'd take things more literally.

[She pauses.]

Hm. But in all seriousness... thank you.

I do tend to take things very... deliberately, I suppose.

[ He sounds a touch sheepish. ]

I'm just glad I might be able to help. I... I really do understand what it's like to be plagued by nightmares and to have your waking steps dogged by ghosts. It's... it was a very bad time of my life.

[There's something endearing about seeing a surly man acting self conscious. It tends to be a reminder that there's something else underneath the gruff.]

I know I'm not the only one with problems, but... Sometimes it just helps to know I've got company in some things.

[Even if "some things" happen to be misery.]

It's sad that I almost can't recall a time where it wasn't a problem of mine. Little over a couple decades, maybe.

[If even that. She was troubled even as a small child, no thanks to her unstable home life.]

THE ADVOCATE ORACLE - A RIP VAN WINKLE IN TIME

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i had this like half-written and kept forgetting to send it. wups.

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