kenoslogs | [Closed] Wolves at the Door

[Closed] Wolves at the Door

WHO: Dimitri and Hayame
WHAT: The Aftermath
WHEN: Early February
WHERE: Springstar
WARNINGS: Discussion of violence, politics, war, etc.

[ The aftermath of the fighting - in Springstar, in the Beyond - has been rough. There's been a lot to clean up. People to tend to, debris to get out of the way. Dimitri is still struggling with piecing together what he's going to do about all of this, but he knows there's at least one person he needs to talk to. So he goes to find her. She's still in the city, fortunately, recovering from some apparent wounds taken during the fighting - he's a little concerned when he hears something about rubble, but Hayame as it turns out is well on the way to recovery when he eventually finds her still being fussed over by some doctors in the Springstar hospital. She's mostly got a room to herself, partially because of her size (there are only a few rooms that probably have a big enough door), but she is well enough to take visitors. So he pauses outside, knocks, and then opens the door.

He's taking a step here, he knows. The thoughts that are rattling in his head need an outlet and he trusts her to listen to them. To know how he feels. Even if they come from very different worlds and have different views on how to deal with war... she is a warrior through and through. She knows the value of a quick victory, of striking hard and quickly - and more than that, he thinks that she might be a very useful ally if some of his other thoughts prove necessary in the future.

For a moment Dimitri stands in the doorway, regarding Hayame, and then enters. ]

Hayame - are you doing alright? Do you... have a moment? I'd like to speak with you, if you're able.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Dimitri listens in silence, letting her get the words out. He knows that this might be difficult and he has no desire to try and rush her along. Especially when it came to something that clearly disturbed her and had to do with Sebastian, of all people. ]

...I think I understand.

[ She doesn't necessarily need to say more. She was drugged, taken against her will. But still... there's a deep well of anger in him that's starting to rise as she describes what happened to her. ]

...what did he do?

[ Then he pauses, shakes his head. ]

You needn't tell me if you don't want to.

[Hayame had not been raised by jinba. If she had, she might know better how to control her more equine half- to keep her tail still, instead of just focus on the more human-looking features she possessed to try and keep them composed. As it was... This is obviously difficult for her to say. Shameful for her to say.

But she continues on, despite. (So she must want to tell him?)]

He tied me on my back and my side to the wall and to some sort of table, so that I could not kick or fight...

[An exceedingly painful and unnatural position for a jinba, who while lying on her equine side would naturally lie also on her more human-like side. One that twisted her musculature to the limit, and didn't allow any slack for bucking or thrashing without risking just pulling already strained tendons from their moorings. An expert choice to disable a jinba.]

And that demon and some little assistant of his was there. I thought they were going to torture me for... something, for information or for their faction, but he told me that he would make us "even".

[Unlike when she had brokenly tried to tell this story to Claude, to Liem, the only ones she had forced herself to use words with, the emotion is not fresh and raw any more. She does not stop and start in confusion, the timeline isn't jumbled in her head from the panic and pain. She can say it woodenly, to try and cover the self-hatred and the burning need to revenge herself.]

He put needles in my face. He cut into the inside of where my eye used to be, and flayed it open... and then he showed me an eye. Some sick thing from someone else.

[A swallow. One using her,]

I tried to bite off my tongue and die before he could disgrace me... but he put a horse's bit into my mouth so that I could not.

[A horse's bit. Like she was just an animal. Like she was an Armless at her master's stables, metal digging in to the soft corners of her mouth and slipping on her tongue and cracking between her teeth as she struggled to bite and snap.]

And then he put the eye in my head, with his shadows and his magics. An eye that has some foul magic attached to it, that may very well be betraying anything it sees to our enemies.

[Was it to Sebastian himself? To his "master" Silco? To Yima, like a gift offered up tot he bitch? She doesn't fucking know and so since that day... she has continued to wear her eyepatches as if she were still missing the left eye, instead of harboring a potential tool for the enemy to spy through.]

[ Dimitri, at the very least, listens in silence. He doesn't interrupt her story nor does he try to get more out of her. He just sits and listens, his attention on her as she gets out the words. She struggles to speak it all; he can see that as plainly as anything else. Even if she controls her expression, such a tale can't be easy. He's dealt with horror and pain in the past and to speak of it is difficult - this seems to go even beyond that, however. Not simply battle or imprisonment but cruelty for the sake of cruelty. Torture because the one inflicting it found it amusing.

So Dimitri listens until she finishes. His fingers are curled into fists in his lap and there's a very real, visible tension in his shoulders. His eye flashes with restrained emotion and he clenches his jaw for a long moment before he manages to relax so he can speak. ]

...that is beyond anything I might have thought or guessed at.

[ He replies, voice low, simmering with restrained anger. ]

This cannot be borne. This - it's atrocious. [ She knows that, of course. She experienced it. But he has to express himself somehow. ]

Whatever you need, you have my lance, Hayame. He will pay for his crimes against you. I swear it.

[She would not have been able to get through it if he interrupted. She barely manages even though he doesn't. It would be one thing to tell the story of a defeat in battle, which was humiliating in and of itself, but something like this, of being so godsdamned weak, or being so intentionally and sickly humiliated in ways that were tailored just for her by a demon that had straddled her and smiled, wicked, as he implied he knew just who to hurt and promised he would never kill her...

... Atrocious. Of course she knows it is atrocious.]

I would show it to you... but I still do not know who is seeing through it.

[That sickly green eye behind her bandages... the heel of her hand accidentally grinds in painfully tight as her lips twist.]

- What crimes? That demon used his little henchman to heal every wound on my body before he returned me to Springstar. He knows I cannot abide the idea of showing anyone what happened in... in Communion, or something, to prove it happened.

It is his word against mine.

[And apparently a demon's tongue was not a liar's if he spoke politely and smiled handsomely. She wished the offer of Dimitri's lance was one that comforted her...

But nothing has. Not really. Not about this. Not while the eye is still in her head, mocking her at every second.]

Your word is still proof.

[ Dimitri says that with conviction. ]

Your word means something. And... I will not have it become sort of twisted word game where you are to be doubted and scorned. He may be sly but... there is no reason others should believe him.

[ He turns his gaze away for a moment, distant and angry and unsure of what to say. ]

If nothing else, we can act on our own recognizance. We will not leave it to be nothing. To be swept aside as if it doesn't matter.

[She wishes another thing, too. That she believed Dimitri when he said that. But she can't. Despite all she had done, and all she had suffered... She still thinks that demon had been right when he had smiled at her on the Scorched Isles and mocked her with the reminder that despite her intent and her "goodness"... Even members of her own faction would prefer him, because he was congenial and knew how to smile and speak politely.

Those words had wormed into the cracks in her hearts and cemented themselves deep. Even now, that she has one, two, three people she believes would believe her...]

... No, there is not.

[But her thinking there is no reason he should be believed won't change the fact that she does not believe her words could make another person take up arms or turn cold against that demon. Her shameful tears and the flinching damage wrought by his hands had not even convinced some of those who claimed to be her friend not to treat with the thing... So how could she believe herself capable of swaying anyone else?

Her own gaze, or what was uncovered of it, also moves away. Distant. Angry. Unsure of what to say.

Finally, though... She manages at least,]

... Your support is appreciated.

[Even if she had been made to doubt so much else, she should say that.]

[ Dimitri doesn't quite know that pain; doesn't quite understand there are those who are still happy enough to favor the one who has hurt her so badly. But maybe he own't have to find out. Or maybe he will. In either case, he knows that Hayame has Claude. That she has him. That she has others. That will have to be enough. That will have to make this worthwhile.

It's all he can give her. ]

I'm glad. And if you need anything... you need only ask. I'm sure of that. Whatever it is, whatever you need, I will help.

[If Hayame had her way... No one would know. It is shameful, to think that after all she had been through, that the first people she would extend trust to in this world after months and months of trying to do it on her own like she always had... would refuse to take her side against a man who had intentionally humiliated her, leaving her half-broken on the ground with even the chance to commit honor suicide robbed from her. She does not even want to think of it herself.

But it comes to her mind despite, tainting everything else in subtle, bitter ways.

... She has to think of the others. To rely on them. To not begin to doubt them, or just wait for them to follow suit and let her down too. So for now... She just reaches for a piece of fruit upon the tray that had been left beside her hospital bed.]

... Thank you.

[For the offer. She will try and remember it.

With silent question, she gestures with a piece of the fruit. ... Does he want one?]

Of course.

[ He knows the bitter sense of betrayal, although perhaps not in quite the same way. He was betrayed by family, many years ago - and even though it sitll stings, he's learned to trust and to give himself into the hands of others. And while he cannot guess at her mind, it's something he lives by, to this day.

There's a moment of hesitation and then he reaches out to pick up one of the pieces with a nod. ]

Thank you.

[ He bites into it with a thoughtful expression. ]

...I don't know if this will help, but this does make me remember... I spent many years not being able to taste because of... a traumatic experience. And yet here I am now.

[He couldn't just eat the fruit, could he? Silence was easier than camaraderie, than... sympathy. She wasn't good with it. But Hayame knows that... that without it, then she is not living up to what she had resolved to do.

So though it takes her a while, chewing slowly on the fruit in her mouth...]

- You were poisoned?

[She just assumes. If it was his sense of taste affected, then... ?]

...not exactly. I was never able to understand it myself. My... family and our escort, our retainers - we were attacked and wiped out in an assassination attempt. I was the only survivor.

[ He frowns and takes another bit of the fruit. ]

For some reason, the... experience of that night left me unable to taste anything. The physicians couldn't anything physically wrong with me. It was just as if... my mind had decided to stop tasting.

[Assassinations do not surprise her for their mere happening- particularly for those of rank, in times of war. Assassinations happen. One has just happened. But she doesn't know much about... what it does to people. It's always been a concept, it's what happens to powerful people, and she was not even the choice to perform them.

But now...]

I cannot say I understand it either.

[How death could make a man lose his sense of taste. How it could just come back. Having never been one to eat food for pleasure (having never been given food that was good enough to be pleasurable to eat), she also likely failed to appreciate how unfortunate it could be to lose that sense. Yet, it's not like Dimitri was a liar, so.]

- But it has returned?

Since I've been here, yes. Which has been... well. It's been a pleasure to have it again. I spent most of my life remembering tastes and simply eating doggedly, regardless of what was put in front of me.

[ He takes another bite of the piece of fruit. He's trying to commiserate with her. He hopes it helps. ]

It was something I lived with and didn't think much of. But... I think having it back has made me enjoy sharing meals with others a little more.

[It is hard for Hayame to know what helps. She never sought help, in her own world. She had spent most of her like adamantly trying to push away help, because for it to be known that she had accepted such a thing would be a stain upon a reputation already ruined by her status as a mare. Here in Kenos... she had learned different. "Better".

It was still hard. But even though it was...

She is here, technically... sharing a meal with him. So even though it takes her a moment to find the words, even though she is poor at seeming light-hearted like Claude was so good at...]

- Sorry I only have fruit. If you want food that tastes good now that you can tell the difference you'll probably have to get it outside the hospital.

[- Hopefully he realized it was a joke and not her telling him to leave???]

There's nothing wrong with fruit.

[ Dimitri laughs quietly. ]

And I find that sharing food with a friend makes it so much the better.

[ Yeah, he just called her his friend. She's gonna have to live with that. ]

[Though it wasn't her telling him to leave... Hayame is still the type of person who wouldn't be surprised if he did. It wasn't like she wasn't aware of how "difficult" she was, nor did she have any illusions about her sociability or conversation skills.

But. Even though her lips purse a bit when he uses the "friend"... She doesn't snap at him that they aren't that. Which, coming from her... maybe it was safe to assume at least a certain degree of agreement.

That, or in how she silently portions out another slice for him.

They could share it.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Closed] Wolves at the Door

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

wraps up with a 🎀 for newer stuff maybe