kenoslogs | THE SOOT OF IGNORANCE: RISING ACTION

THE SOOT OF IGNORANCE: RISING ACTION

BETWEEN UNCONTROLLED ESCALATION & UNENDING PASSIVITY

The moonlit city of Highstorm has always been a tranquil location.

Its people, passionate about the steady leadership of Zenith's leader — Lady Yima — begin their movements slowly and deliberately. Following the lead of their most trusted Shard-Bearers and the word of their Lady, activity in Highstorm begins to increase in the vicinity of Yima's Manor. The Court, the town square outside of it, becomes a hotbed of bustle and voices. Personnel and attendants rush around with documentation, stirring others to action. A select few figures gather the full force of their long-standing houses, calling on family bonds and their own castellans to assist the efforts that build over the course of a few days.

For the tranquility of Highstorm is only ever punctuated by its decisiveness, its faith that their path is the correct one — and now, they will prove it.

In a trickle-down effort, from the most loyal Zenites to the newest, the news unfolds for them: Amos Burton has been tasked by Lady Yima herself to turn the tides back in Zenith's favor. He is to end the life of the 34th Tribune, Cyrus Marcius Germanus Kokkinos, alongside the fortune who have found their way into Zenith's graces. In the earliest hours of the invasion, the figure of Yima herself steps out onto the balcony of her quarters — the highest point of the Manor — with her robes soft around her body and hands extended to her people. Her silence is punctuated by glowing feelings of pride that flow through the hearts and minds of every last sworn Zenite, bolstering their resolve and encouraging them with the cool, ever-flowing might of the people who look to Zenith's Shard-Bearers for their victory.

She sees them off with unspoken sentiments of love, confidence in them — the whispered promises that she knows they are ready to see the war through. And perhaps none of them will know that it is the last time they see her.

For in the sun-dappled sprawl of Springstar, their target awaits them.

The bustle of the city has always been without reservation; the bright and airy attitudes of militant citizenry look on with confidence and celebratory warmth as their Shard-Bearers have brought them to a marginal advancement over their enemies. While Tribune Cyrus's popularity has waned, there are alternative avenues they have begun to explore — the figure of Agapitos Voreen has become deeply popular, with savvy statements, an easy confidence and a willingness to deny Zenith any room to breathe, he is a shoe-in for future Tribune, whenever the next elections are held.

Which is why, in between one moment and the next, the city is rocked by the efforts of their opposition. Zenite-aligned Shard-Bearers and the small house armies of Yima's most loyal core families fill the streets with chaotic distractions, ranging from duels with the Helios Legionnaire to direct attacks on civilians. ( Where does your character draw the line, if they care to? Will it matter in the long run, do they believe? ) Appearing from several Cornerstones hidden within the city's confines from missions long past, tracking the movements of Legionnaires and Shard-Bearers alike from the placement of listening gems and tracking spells, even rising from the bowels of Kowloon to trap the city in a pincer movement — Highstorm goes on the offensive.

Springstar puts up a valiant resistance in return; however, within twenty-four hours, Zenite Shard-Bearers will have hunted down, cornered and slain the Tribune. In that moment, Meridian-aligned Shard-Bearers will feel a splitting pain: the suddenness of having an integral element of their power ripped from them, the sensation akin to being crushed, gasping under the weight of Zenith's swell. The last trickle of emotion from Cyrus for them is a gentle warmth, fondness and forgiveness and the purity of his confidence in them. He believes in them, he always has, and he prays and hopes for their victory even though he will not be around to see it become reality, now.

His death is announced the following day by his assistant Cetina, the deer-morph girl choking back angry tears as she — with a furious and tearful General Ayo Zaman and the somber, mournful figure of Hieropoios Natalia at her side — lambasts Highstorm for the act of aggression, attempts to rouse the city and Meridian's hope, and pledges that she will not let her best friend's murderers escape her vengeance.

Hours after Cetina's message, in the far corner of Highstorm — following the people's celebrations and rejoicing in their strike, the delight in the might of their Shard-Bearers and the renewed passions of their people in pursuit of their victory — a brilliant, golden beam of sunlight pierces the eternal night of the city.

In an instant, the balcony upon which Yima had stood and the rooms beyond it — in fact, the entirety of the Manor, is engulfed in fire and light. The Manor falls, crumbling in upon itself as debris cascades into the living quarters of Shard-bearers and partially topples into the Court beyond. While the Tree of Life, the Reflecting Pools and many businesses around the Court escape extensive damage, the Manor itself is in shambles. And in the wake, many Zenite Shard-Bearers will feel the suddenness of having an integral element of their power ripped from them, the sensation akin to being crushed, gasping under the weight of Meridian's swell. In the wake of the strike, there is a deep silence within them.

Any attempts to contact Yima are met with the same silence a Shard-Bearer feels when reaching out to another who has left the world entirely. And with that, both sides are left to pick up the pieces and weigh the consequences of their actions.

ADDITIONAL MATTERS

During ( and in the wake of both assaults ), there is plenty for any Unharmonized Shard-Bearers and more moderate Meris/Zenites to partake in. Damage has been wrought to both cities at differing times, and there is a degree of life lost no matter the best efforts of those who value innocents over the price enacted by acts of war.

In Springstar, the citizenry has been ravaged by attacks stemming from the depths of Kowloon: as monsters in the form of both individuals with unusual appetites (cannibals and vampires, for example) and heavily-drugged, superpowered addicts have been finding their way into the city, slaughtering civilians indiscreetly, picking fights with the Legionary, and engaging in general criminal mischief and violence. Following Zenith's assault and subsequent assassination, the city will be on high alert and be deeply hostile toward Zenith-aligned Shard-Bearers, as well as mistrustful towards any Unharmonized ( for good reason: they might still Harmonize with Zenith! ). After the day of the attack, the attacks drop off significantly, but do not vanish entirely, for now that some have gotten a taste, it will take time for Yura to reign them in once more.

The people of the city turn to their Shard-Bearers in the wake of their Tribune's murder; even though his popularity had waned, it isn't as though his death doesn't affect them! Deeply concerned and frightened for their future, they demand information about what will be done to protect the city from another assault like this? Some civilians will turn to the church, or perhaps community leaders, but it seems very few turn to the legionary, after they were so focused on the attacks that they missed the forest for the trees. Their trust in their military leaders is waning, and they’re looking for answer. Some community leaders have tried to soften the hurt and anger of Springstar’s people, but they look toward those whom were not a part of the current establishment to answers.

In Highstorm, Yima's Manor lays in shambles, but the rest of the city is unharmed. Shard-Bearers who were living in the Manor will find that their living quarters suffered from the collapse and subsequent fires, but any precious items/belongings they had in their rooms can be recovered after sifting through the rubble. One of Yima’s most trusted, Florence, seems to be taking the reigns of control, and while there are still pockets of the manor that remain on the outskirts of the building itself, she encourages any Zenites who had not moved out to move on quickly, since what is left should be used by any newcomers who need shelter, and not those whom have had the opportunity to make bonds, and have allies that they can rely on.

The main issue now plaguing Zenites is the sudden, overwhelming crowd that begins to gather in the Court, demanding information from them about Yima's safety — they are frantic, and rightfully concerned about further assaults of that incendiary degree from Meridian. The city will be on high alert and be deeply hostile toward Meridian-aligned Shard-Bearers, as well as mistrustful towards any Unharmonized ( for good reason: they might still Harmonize with Meridian! ). The Manor itself is almost entirely destroyed, with only a shell of the outskirts left, and though those who are left are already trying to sift through the rubble, they are often overcome by their sorrow, and it is not uncommon in the wake of Meridian’s destruction to find some of Yima’s most loyal in distress, for the loss of their leader.

A LIGHTHOUSE AGAINST THE ENCROACHING STORM

A few months ago, all current Shard-Bearers experienced a mass dreaming event, full of teeming darkness and a pervasive sense of terror. Following the death of Cyrus and the "presumed loss" of Yima, all Shard-Bearers will receive yet another dream.

This one is a simple, direct thing: rife with a haunting sense of being watched, observed as if from the reeds and brush by a hunter. Whatever your power level, however skilled you are and confident you are in your place, your decisions, your heart will quake before the severe impression of something prowling at your heels. Just out of sight, but never out of mind. Every Shard-Bearer's shard will wrench free of their body upon waking, falling from their physical form as if to flee this sensation of something waiting, patient, for the right moment to pounce.

Echoing in the back of their mind, a wordless, shapeless promise lingers: Forward, or back. Back, or forward. Dart and weave, flit and flutter, scamper and scurry. We are here, now. In the back of every mind, what was in the process of coming before is — it is here, now. Looming right above, waiting for the outcome, watching for which way the last lives at the end of existence will flee.

Upon awakening from the mass dream-become-nightmare, Shard-bearers will slowly become aware of the exacerbation of previous events that have been persisting since October. These events are no longer subtle, and will impact everyone regardless of faction allegiance, with purposefully targeted strikes:

— Darkness has spread within Springstar. Wherever there is shadow cast by person, object or building, it has deepened, darkened, and grown in size. Walking through any shadowed area or touching a darkened shadow will fill a Shard-bearer who enters that area with feelings of dread, of something lingering just out of sight, of danger prickling along their spine, and entice them to run and flee. If they are not quick enough, an unseen entity savages them — aiming directly for wherever their Shard is hidden and held. They are being hunted.

— Light has spread within Highstorm. Starlight and moonlight seem to sear what they touch, leaving patches of bleached-white scars upon person, object or building. Being touched by the light or coming into contact with a white-scarred entity will fill a Shard-bearer with feelings of malaise, like they should simply lay down and accept what comes next. Suffocating hands waiting to pin them down. Even in the safety of the shadows, the scourging glow of any light reaches for them and rakes across their bodies, seeking the place where their Shard is hidden or held. Ravaging them with hot-and-cold burns. They are being sacrificed.

— Shard-bearers readily become lost in familiar places, as if their homes and bastions of safety and security have become strange ( estranged? ) from their minds. The route to that favorite haunt ( perhaps even their own place of business ) eludes them, and searching for it alone becomes an impossibility. It takes another Shard-bearer, at times, to aid them in breaking free of the mild befuddlement. You're just tired. It's just the strain getting to you.

— Citizens of both Springstar and Highstorm continue to speak about neighbors who have 'suddenly moved away', or the disappearance of a favored shop or cafe. Some mention favorite, useful landmarks vanishing, causing them to forget where they are coming from, or where they are going. When directly asked about this circumstance, they shrug and declare that it happens all the time these days. In fact, there's nothing to really be done about it. And if pressed, the citizenry's eyes go glassy and expressions become confused as they ask who, what, where, and why their Shard-Bearer has begun asking them such strange questions. None seem bothered by this strange occurrence, as if all is well and normal.

— Shard-bearers will begin to see familiar faces in crowds, standing on street corners, peering through their private windows, waving them down at their familiar haunts. People from their own worlds, loved and hated alike rush for them — adoring and hostile alike. Family members and friends who seem to attempt to meet their eyes before the crowd swallows them up; loved ones who should be captured in Shards try to flag them down, calling their names and asking them where have you been? what's going on?; enemies and abusers seem to advance upon them, pushing their way forth hungrily. And then they are gone, but not before leaving behind the impression, the strange sensation that, they are real. Really there. If only for a moment.

OOC & (IMMEDIATE) WORLD CHANGES

The full document for this event can be found here!

So, what does the world look like now that this has all gone down?

The world of Kenos ripples from the effects of our players!

Springstar is (mostly) physically unharmed, though the population has been reduced thanks to the number of murders and criminal mischief that has taken place during the attack. Damage seems constrained to things like broken doors and windows, looted property, and murdered civilians, though the severity is up to how many defend Springstar from the concentrated might of Ryad’s regulars, and a practical army of addicts rising from the depths below the city.

The leadership of Springstar is also shaken, though there are procedures in place for this – if one is particularly studious, they will recall that this is not the first Tribune that has been assassinated, though it is the first in a long while – and the Church and the Legionary have stepped in to maintain the peace while elections begin to be arranged.

Cyrus’s body is interred publically at the Church in Heliopolis for a week after his passing, before his body is immolated during a service, his soul returned to the Tree of Life. Those who attend will feel the light of Meridian fill them, and their Discord may be reduced by one level thanks to the warm hope that fills them, even as they despair at the loss of their leadership. Meridian calls to its most loyal, and asks them to do what they do best, show hope and unending resolve, when things look to be their most hopeless.

Highstorm is another story. The destruction wrought is more property, but the number of people who were within the manor is difficult to count until a week or two after the destruction has been evaluated, and cleanup has begun. The loss of life is not devastating compared to what was leveled upon Springstar, but perhaps the most distressing is that Yima is not present. Florence reassures those in Highstorm with her calming, but firm presence.

With few of Yima’s softer adorations to be found, Florence instead pushes the faithful to muster their will and begin the recovery efforts. After all, they have long proven to have faith in Yima’s guidance, and they should believe in it now when it is difficult. It is not the first time their fortitude has been tested, after all.

Her words fill those in Zenith with a sense of calm resolve, and they may feel their distress and discord from this destruction alleviating slightly. Highstorm’s government works smoothly without Yima, and those who are interested in history will be able to see Florence’s name throughout the annals, as one that would guide Yima’s faithful when the matron was in convalescence, or respite. What Zenith does best, after all, is build something new when faced with destruction. Consider this a primer for your new world, to help bring the faithful back from the brink of their despair.

The unharmonized have a choice, as they so often do. This time, however, the stakes appear even higher than before. The cities are not as welcoming as they once were, and those that have not chosen are beseeched by the civilians of both Highstorm and Springstar. ‘Do you not understand what they’ve taken from us, and what they will in days to come? You cannot let this continue, standing on the sidelines. Imagine the ways in which you could help us,’ they beg, and it feels as though your neutrality will become increasingly inconvenient, as time goes on.

What can we expect next?

As the month of Pelu ( aka March ) dawns, you will begin to feel it. Something tugs at you.

Those who have lived through more than one will feel that anticipatory anxiety rise, as the next oracle is coming. Are you ready to fight to claim it, even when it feels so dark, and even when everything feels different, and harder? Do you look to the stars, and dream of your home? Or do you gaze outward, into nothing, and dream of what you will make from the ashes?

Anticipate the oracle in the coming month of Pelu, and to learn more about those that will step into the voids left by Cyrus and Yima.

And as always!

Questions can be directed here!

Individuals less-inclined to busy themselves with either effort, or looking for a way to gain a foothold/explore the world can report here for exploration attempts. We recommend examining the Kenos Wiki's Locations for ideas, if you don't know where to start. Or! Ask someone in the Discord Server for a recommendation, we have long-time players eager to help.

Lastly, remember that Cyrus and Yima will be a little occupied this time around, but anyone who might ICly have reason to contact them regarding the brewing troubles can do so here!

CODING

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[It’s early on the day after the mission, before Cyrus’s death is announced to the Meridian masses, before the retaliatory strike. A familiar mental presence is reaching out to Amos, but one whose usual warmth is much more subdued—a cool wisp on the edges not unlike the encroaching touch of Zenith discord that’s beginning to gnaw at her.

She has a lot of things she wants to say. But she starts with the simplest of them:]

Tell me you got out of there.

[It has the air of a demand, more than a question.]

[ He's at the tail end of his run, nearly back home and enjoying the feel of cold air on his skin with his heart rate up and blood pumping. Awake, alert, and very much alive.

To feel Gavial's mind beckon to his own with that touch of cool Zenith is equally refreshing, his own mind flooded with it — not discord, but its natural presence — that at first, Amos doesn't recognize there's anything wrong.

The flatness of her demand has him slowing to a jog in a surprise show of hesitation. ]

I got out of there. Little beat up, but it isn't anything magic and a bit of time won't fix.

[ Pause. ]

What's wrong?

[Good. Great. At least one thing went the way it was supposed to out here. The relief she feels at hearing his answer is a brief flicker, like a small flame on a candle wick wavering in a breeze before being snuffed out.

And it leaves her anger and irritation to swell into the space of its absence. Usually when she feels this way, she can let it get the better of her. There are few things that make Gavial ready to throw a punch in righteous anger, but needlessly putting innocent people in harms way is the number one way to get it done. Maybe Amos isn’t directly at fault for this, but she can’t help the feeling that she’d been lied to when he first laid out this plan to her.

So it’s probably a good thing she can’t have this conversation in person right now; when she answers, her tone shifts to something nearly as cold and hard as the stone here in the jail cell she’d been tossed into in Springstar.]

I thought the whole point of this was just to go after Cyrus. Not turn the streets into a bloodbath!

[ In the physical world, feeling her anger makes him slow from a jog to a walk to nothing at all. Amos is left standing there, increasingly confused and maybe — if he thinks about it — a little upset. Not because Gavial is chastising him, but because he's clearly done something to upset her. ]

It was. I don't—

[ — know what you're talking about? But before he can finish the thought he realizes how stupid it is; it's a wisp she might catch hints of before realization comes crashing in on him. He'd only been focusing on one guy when in Springstar, but he'd still been on its streets. He'd still come across destruction and bodies, as much as he'd ignored it at the time.

As much as she is forcing him to not ignore it now, and there is a pit settling in his stomach: the realization that he fucked up.

He folds, immediately. ]

Fuck. That was the point. I— Silco had the idea, he was working on it, it was perfect—

[ Except it clearly was not perfect; not if it led to this. Amos isn't sure what regret is, but shame? Yeah, he can do shame. ]

I'm sorry. [ There is the impression of him scrubbing his hand over his face. ] I fucked up.

[Of course hearing Silco’s name get brought into this makes a lot of things slide into place. She’s had few occasions to deal with the man and most were antagonistic, even when she had been in the process of saving his ass after picking a fight with a god. But she’d gotten a little insight on his thoughts on this conflict and—of course he’d be glad to see the streets of the opposite faction run red.

Gavial is clenching her hands into fists and resisting the urge to uselessly strike at the stone along the back of the cell’s wall. She feels that momentary confusion from him and it’s nearly reflected back, because how could he not have realized? But the realization is there, just belated, joined soon by a upsurge of shame.

She lets that sit there between them for a moment, eyes screwed shut as she reaches up to pinch just above the bridge of her nose. “Fucked up” is an understatement, but at least he has the presence of mind to own up to it. But still. How could he not have realized?]

Amos… Damn it.

[Some of the edge falters from the words as something else starts encroaching on the presence of her anger. Disappointment? Dismay? She’s not sure she even has the right word for it.]

It was so many people. We go after the leader? It leaves them reeling and demoralized. But when we hit innocent people it makes it personal! They don’t deserve to get involved like this! We can’t undo harm like that!

[It’s repeating the obvious at this point, but yelling is about all she feels like she can do right now. Still, it’s a point worth hammering home, in her eyes.]

[ She lets his shame sit there between them, and it swells. Being met with silence, then disappointment(?)... It's been a while since he's been on the receiving end of this, he thinks. Last time was probably from Cap, even if he'd generally be understanding that Amos was bad at this sort of thing.

He does not think Cap would let him shrug off that many innocent deaths, though, even if they weren't by his hand. And Gavial yelling at him — Amos shuts his eyes and takes it, because yeah, he recognizes he deserves it. His mission was successful, and yet he still managed to fuck up, big. Matt's dismay at him when he was gathering up his things and leaving his place last night keeps making more and more sense. ]

I know. [ His voice is quiet. There's no absolution to seek here; they can't undo—

There's the sensation of something stirring in Amos, waking up, and with it comes another surge of confusion. Since when did he care about not being able to undo deaths? Even without Yima, that's one of the reasons he'd slid into Zenith so naturally, never to come back up for air. Why is it suddenly important now—

There is an idea taking root at the back of his brain. Amos opens his eyes, starts walking back to his place as he tries to make sense of it. ]

We can't undo it. I get that. So we can... I don't know. Apologize? [ That seems so trite, though. And not the right word. He's fumbling... ] Mourn? It doesn't bring anyone back, but... is that something?

[ It's already pretty clear that Gavial knows better than him, so she'd have the answer, wouldn't she? If there's anything they can do at all to make it... who knows. Less shitty, maybe. ]

[The thing is, this kind of ugliness and violence isn’t exactly anything new to her. It had been incidental in the clashing of the tribes growing up, but it was a much more open thing to witness in the warring throughout Sargon where she really cut her teeth on warfare. It was there in the wake of the petty ambitions of feuding Padishahs and Lords Ameer, it was in the devastated remnants of homeless Sarkaz, and the brutality afforded to those fighting for survival under the harsh gaze of Ursus. It just feeds on itself in an endless cycle.

People were always too quick to declare the competition for the oracles a war, but this is the first time it really feels like it’s living up to that label. It’s brutal, and it’s ugly, and it’s exactly the kind of thing she was happy to write off with the rest of Terra—the rest of every other world. They don’t need this.

So maybe that’s why she’s not as certain as he is that she has anything resembling the right answer here. She wants to leave this kind of behavior behind, not build everything on the foundation of it.]

It’d be a start. But words only mean so much without real gestures backing them up. I don’t… I don’t know how we make it up to them without completely negating everything we set out to do yesterday.

[You can’t kill their leader and kill their people and only apologize for one of them. When you make a big swing, you have to mean it.]

We can’t let it be for nothing. And we can’t let it happen again.

[ Amos puffs out a breath into the cold air, part thoughtful and part already resigned. ]

We get the rest of the Oracles and we make a new world, and it won't be for nothing. They'll see it then, when we have a new world for everyone. Them included. [ And it isn't a platitude, not from him. He's steeped in Zenith, and he believes every word that he's saying — that it will all be worth it in the end.

But... ] But I don't know how we make sure it doesn't happen again. Cat's kinda out of the bag now. I figure we can try to reduce it, but more people are going to die.

[ The shrug is in his voice; not quite dismissive, but more helpless. That's just the way these things go. ]

I want to try to bring as many of them as we can with us. Figure that's a real gesture, even if they can't appreciate it yet. [ Because they're Meridian, and being delusional and hopeless comes with the territory. ] In the meantime... I dunno. I'm gonna think on it. But I think if there's a way to show them we aren't forgetting those they lost. That's... that's gotta be something.

[ Something about it feels right, even if he's having trouble articulating it. Like a solution staring at him from the other side of a fogged up mirror — there's the sense that Amos thinks he's onto something, even if he isn't entirely sure what. ]

I figured bringing them along with us in the end was kind of a given.

[And just as soon as she says it, she realizes that maybe it’s not such a no-brainer to think of things that way for some others in Zenith—like, oh, the aforementioned Silco—which will make for a difficult prospect. Especially if they continue to carry on the way they did yesterday.]

And maybe they’ll appreciate it in the long run, but the more brutal we make the fight in the meantime, the harder it will be to smooth things over when all is said and done.

[She’s glad one of them at least feels like they’ve got their fingertips brushing right up against a real solution, because right now, Gavial only really feels lost.]

There is a point of no return with this kinda thing, particularly if we want to make this new world of ours a good one.

If we can try to figure out a way to mend even a few of the bridges we just burned, then… maybe it’ll work out. [Does she sound a little more helpless and unsure than she perhaps ever has? Yes, though more of her typical forcefulness resurges in her voice as she continues.] I just don’t want us to resort to using the lives of innocent people as a distraction again, got it?

[ He walks in silence, listening to nothing more than Gavial's voice in his head and the breeze blowing past him. That sense of being lost is... not unfamiliar, even if he continues to grasp for something. The concept of even having an idea is new to him; otherwise, he understands what Gavial is feeling.

He waits a minute for her to finish before speaking up again, really absorbing that last sentiment. The one that sounds like she's the one giving him an order this time. ]

Got it. [ But as soon as the words leave him he feels as though he's caught in a storm of sorts, unable to tell which way is up. Amos takes a shaky breath, and then follows up in a smaller voice: ] I don't want to fuck up again.

[ Stated as though he knows he's going to fuck up again. Can sense it coming, long before it's even happening. ]

All I ever knew was brutality, you know? I don't know how to just turn it off when it comes natural. Especially when... I want to make things right, but we're still going to be fighting...

[ Because that's what war is. And they've always been at war, as far as Amos is concerned, it's just... more official, now. Explicit. And he knows a lot of that is thanks to him.

Another brief pause, as he comes up to his front door. Doesn't open it yet, though, because he has something to ask first. ]

Can I come to you for advice, if I need it? So I don't... do this again. Not unless we have to.

[ And, perhaps proving his point: not entirely shutting the door on weaponizing Springstar's civilian population against them, because you really never know. ]

[She can feel the sentiment there, and his uncertainty. It forces some of the tension out of her shoulders and out of this shared mental connection. He doesn’t want to fuck up again, and she believes him. She doesn’t want him to either (or herself, for that matter—there’s no absolving her own involvement in things at this point). And so the question is met with an immediate answer, sure and unwavering.]

Of course you can. If you need help, I want to help. Kind of easier to put heads together to see the bigger picture sometimes. [And there’s a pause, followed by the sensation of grit teeth and an averted gaze.] Because I… think I kinda get where you’re coming from. The way I was raised, for a long time the only way I knew how to get things done was by force.

[In fact, that’s part of the reason why Gavial feels so out of her element here in this moment, trying to figure out how to make things right; the simple and forceful methods she naturally gravitates to aren’t necessarily something that would help them course-correct on this.]

And I still do a lot of the time, if I’m being honest. It’s a hard thing to unlearn, and harder still when we've got a fight like this on our hands…

[Did she ever think she fully would? No, probably not. It’s too much a part of who she is. But she hopes at least she can rely on her desire to do good for people to let her put it to good, constructive use.]

So we'll figure it out. Find whatever answers work for us.

Thank you.

[ His voice is small but sincere, a gentle acceptance of what she does have to offer him. Because he recognizes it now, that like for like between them. He doesn't think it's the reason why they've gotten along so well, but... maybe it's part of it.

Amos opens his door, a blast of warm air greeting him and brushing through his communion space. He shuts out the cold, encasing himself in the warmed bubble of his home, and for a moment, just stands there. ]

I don't know if it can be unlearned. [ This is turning into a confession now, perhaps; there's the sensation of Amos working his jaw, but no sound accompanying it, nor much in the way of feeling outside of frustration. ] At least not for me. Wasn't just about getting things done by force, it was the only way to survive. If you were strong enough, you would. If you weren't...

[ Not even just you'd be dead, which would be easy enough, but something uncomfortable flitting across his mind instead. You'd be taken advantage of.

And he pushes it back aside. There's the sound of him toeing his boots off instead. ]

I try to follow those who're better than me — [ Yima, an involuntary sentiment of her flitting across his mind — ] but I lose my way sometimes. So... if we can help each other. That'll be good. Might not be able to get there, but as long as we can be better — I'll take that.

[If it’s going to be a confession, at least it’s a mutual one. Gavial’s never been shy about discussing her upbringing should it ever come up, or the tendencies it largely instilled in her. The latter’s at least fairly obvious to people, but discussing it with such frankness feels like something much more vulnerable than she’s used to. Most of the time it doesn’t feel like a problem. But it’s not a one-size-fits-all answer to any obstacle.

Somehow, it feels better that they’re not alone it it.

She takes in all his words, all his feelings, and is quiet for a moment in the wake of it. The warmth is a stark contrast to the cold of her current surroundings, a little nagging reminder of problems yet to be solved. But there’s a twisted feeling of mixed emotions from her when she feels that barest brush of Yima cross his mind. She recalls the surprising confidence in the woman that she was left with in the wake of their mission in the catacombs, and it’s tangled up with her current displeasure in the way things had shaken out in Springstar. How can she begin to reconcile all of that?]

I can settle for better. As long as we try.

[She quits her pacing and settles down to sit with her back against the hard stone wall. The tension and agitation that had been swirling around her when she first reached out has faltered some—replaced with a bit of weary resignation she’s not used to feeling—but it’s still there, slightly. A metaphorical crocodile lurking just in the undercurrent.]

I just don’t want to force things to turn out like they did yesterday as a default. I’m glad you at least got your part done. [It’s a weird feeling to have.] At least it’s not for nothing.

[ He isn't sure what to make of that tension he can still catch wafts of from her, that confusing swirl of emotions — just that Amos' instinct (and one Gavial can probably appreciate) is to act first, and so there's an inclination that if they were in the same room and she was cool with it, he'd massage her shoulders or something. Knead it out of her.

As it stands, they are not in the same room, and Gavial is still bringing up something far more important. Amos doesn't feel regret, but he can identify the discomfort, and — yeah. ]

Yeah. We'll... We'll try to not let things like that happen again. [ He feels vaguely queasy, maybe? As it's been emphasized to him that innocents were very much hurt in all of this, and he can't escape blame for that, even if he only hurt/killed one person himself. ] But yeah. I got my part done. We struck the blow for Zenith. Maybe too strong of a blow, but... it's done.

[ A beat, as he stops to consider. Realizes that now that he's inside, where it's warm, he can still feel the cold she's surrounded by. And why shouldn't they be in the same room, anyway? Then maybe he could help her with that tension instead of just thinking about it. ]

Hey, where are you, anyway? Did you want to come over?

[She could very much use a little tension relief right about now, so damn this distance. The conversation had gone a lot better than she’d been expecting, but she’s still feeling the weight of it all and current circumstances are leaving her feeling antsy with little option of a real outlet for it. But even if the outcome of things here were steeped in something awful, at least maybe there’s hope of avoiding this kind of thing in the future. They just have to think first, against their knee-jerk instincts.

But he’s right. It’s done.

The question gets her grimacing; she closes her eyes and leans her head back against the wall for a moment. And in that moment there is the very distinct impression that she’s considering lying. She knows how bad the truth sounds, even if she’s not terribly fussed about it all just yet.

But she sighs instead, a sound that’s wrapped in an annoyance that’s not directed Amos’s way. More at the circumstance? Or Gavial herself?]

I got stuck in Springstar. It’s not a big deal.

[Hmm.]

... Fuck.

[ He doesn't know what stuck means, but he can hazard a guess that it's bad. It's not like Amos had had the chance to round everyone up once Cyrus was dead; not like he could do much more than send out a quick message to everyone Zenith-aligned in Springstar. He'd almost died himself, so his only actionable priority once the deed was done was making sure he and Gen got out. He didn't exactly have the energy to spare for anything else.

But regardless, Gavial is his people — he'd asked her to help out — and so he feels bad, almost as though he's betrayed her. (Nevermind that he essentially did, not letting on how violent this was going to be; this is what he feels worse about.) ]

I mean, kinda sounds like it could be one. I'd try to come and get you, but...

[ And he trails off awkwardly. There's no point in finishing that sentence; they both know why he can't come. ]

... Hang tight. I'll see what I can do?

[ It comes out as a question, like he isn't entirely sure what he can do, but. Surely he can figure something out, and not get wildly distracted due to other goings-on later in the day. ]

[Yeah, it should be a big deal and it probably will become one if she doesn’t quit sitting around and stewing rather than trying to fix the problem for much longer. Even if they’ve (seemingly) reached an understanding about how to tackle things in the future, it’s not an instant fix for the anger and displeasure she’s been wrestling since she woke up in here. She knows she's gotta let her head cool a little more before she does something she'll regret.

And she can sense how bad he feels about it, a fact that doesn’t really do much to help her bad mood—though it does shift it a little toward something more embarrassed or reluctant. Y’know, the standard way she tends to react to being shown concern when she doesn’t want something to be a big deal. This is just making her realize that she’s causing trouble herself by being here. Probably the last thing they need after a day like yesterday.]

I don’t need anyone getting into trouble here on my behalf.

[There’s no way Springstar is going to be a place any Zenith can get away with lingering in for a long damn while after this. Amos might be the obvious target of their ire now, but no one else is getting off scot free here; the encounters she had with various Meridians throughout the day had made that abundantly clear. Zenith backup is mostly out of the question, and calling in favors from Meridian pals doesn’t seem like such a hot idea either. But it doesn’t really matter.]

I should be able to clean up my own mess. It’s fine.

[Deliberate emphasis on the last two words, a signal that she’s not looking for any sort of argument to the contrary. Then she pauses for a beat and releases a sharp sigh.]

…but if it turns into a problem I can’t handle, I’ll let you know. Promise.

[ Oh, he feels even worse now. Worse, but also understanding as Gavial's anger and embarrassment hit him — because if Amos was in her position he can't say he wouldn't be feeling the same way.

At least when he wouldn't be clawing at the walls, and a subconscious shiver runs up his spine at the idea of being trapped in a jail cell. He wants to help—

And at the same time he understands exactly what she means, so he responds with the sensation of a nod. Gavial says it's fine, so it'll have to be fine. As much as he doesn't like it, he also isn't arguing with it. ]

Alright. [ He can at least mean that much. Especially that Gavial isn't going to be too proud to ask for help if it comes to it. ] However it turns out, whatever you want to do, I'm here for you.

[ Not only because he owes her that much, but because she's kin. So he'll be there for her, in whatever form she wants that to take. ]

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