kenoslogs | and if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones [CLOSED-ISH]

[A little over a year ago, she might’ve laughed and called someone insane for claiming otherworldly travel to be something they got up to. But if it was possible for someone to rewind time, and it was possible to wake up and climb out of the earth to find herself in a place like this… then why the hell not? Anything is possible at this point.]

Damn. This must just be like another Tuesday to you, huh?

[She gives him a scrutinizing look, eyes alighting on that necklace of his for a moment.]

Could you do it again now, if you wanted to?

[Color her intrigued about how this kind of thing could work—especially if the other worlds are all dead and gone now like she figures.]

Not exactly... This was my first time finding myself buried, weakened, and without my brother.

[ He says all of this plainly, because it is the simple truth. Traveling from one world to the next was a matter of survival, something he and Kamui had done for so long he can't quite recall how it was not to be hunted. Now he's here, alone, unable to sense or search for him.

Subaru would rather any loss instead of his twin. ]

I can do nothing that I should be able to. Perhaps harmonizing would corect that, and perhaps it wouldn't. They want us to fight for them, so what are the chances we'd be allowed to leave?

It would definitely throw holes in their story if people could just waltz on out of here that easily.

[So yeah, she’s willing to bet even if he did pick a side already, there’d be no way in hell a power like that would work. But while she agrees on that point, it’s not so much the case for why that is.]

I’m not usually eager to go taking the word of people in charge, but… I don’t think they’re bullshitting us here. I don’t think there’d be other worlds to even go to, if you could try it.

[There’s almost a bitter edge to the words, because while she might believe a lot of the weird things they’ve been told, it doesn’t mean she has to like it. She doesn’t like being put in this position, hates the idea of the weight it dumps right on her shoulders. It’s like her life is being treated as the linchpin in the safety of countless others. She still feels guilty about the last time that’d been the case.]

Mm, I doubt we'd be permitted to "opt out".

[ Even if all Subaru cares to do is find his brother. Even if he struggles to believe in either side's goals, or that all the worlds in existence could so easily be snuffed out. Nothing he has seen or experienced suggests this is possible, let alone probable. ]

While they may believe it, I can't say I'm convinced... [ He sighs, the sound permeated by an exhaustion that rests at odds with his youthful features. ] When I spoke of other worlds, the truth is we crossed dimensions. I can't imagine it's possible for anything to snuff all that out at once. That would demand an omnipresence I've never heard of.

[ It's all speculative, any which way they look at it. His soft voice suggests nothing of argument; Subaru only speaks to his perception of all this. None of them can know whether they're right or wrong when they're confined to this place, given the vaguest accounting of what has supposedly come to pass. ]

[Chloe’s got this little problem of being as stubborn as a mule once she sets her mind on something. She’s already decided how much of this whole situation she buys—which is most of it, surprisingly—and as a result, Subaru’s skepticism just seems like a foolish way to stick his head in the sand here. Maybe having seen a bunch of different worlds (dimensions?) before all of this gives him a different view of things, sure, but Chloe’s had her share of experiences telling her that this might as well happen.]

Yeah, well I can think of one thing that can tear reality apart pretty easily: time. Fuck with time itself too much, and everything’s gonna come unraveling.

[Unlike his softer tone, Chloe’s words have an edge to them; it’s not quite seeking out an argument, but it’s enough to hint at how she’s firmly set in her views on this topic. And all that talk from Yima about “pulling souls from the timestream” or whatever has only further hammered it home for her.]

Someone somewhere got way too ambitious messing with it, and now we’re all screwed. I’d bet money on it.

[Does she believe what had been happening to Max was fully responsible for breaking things this badly? No, but it had to have at least played a significant part. Chloe had seen and felt the pull of different timelines right there along with her, so there’s no denying it in her mind.]

In my experience fate is immutable.

[ Unyielding. Such is the way of the CLAMP multiverse, really. No lone individual could make anything occur which was not meant to, and he's never known anyone to have such an influence without being bound by so many rules. Even a figure with potentially far-reaching influence like the Dimensional Witch followed a strict set of principles, and doubtless, her actions enabled whatever was meant to transpire.

Subaru has never been given the impression that the end of all things has been a part of that. Would all else not be pointless, then? ]

But right now, we lack evidence either way.

[ Subaru can concede this, being an older and perhaps more patient creature. Few have a tether so long as he does, so it's a high bar to set. He's reluctant to take a stance that doesn't allow for possibilities, even as he finds the sudden end of all things too absurd to embrace. They're told so little, with no proof of what is true.

In reality, what concerns him most is Kamui's absence. ]

[See, Chloe’s had a similar experience of learning just how damn determined fate can be to make things play out they way it wants. It broke natural laws and wiped an entire town off the map just because Max had the audacity to let Chloe continue to live when fate, or whatever mystical bullshit you wanted to call it, had it set in stone that she was supposed to die.

That seems like pretty irrefutable evidence to her. This is like that, but on a much bigger scale. Why couldn’t things unravel that badly?]

You can fence-sit all you want, man. I know what I’ve felt and what I’ve seen.

[Yeah, concessions have never been her strong suit, and it's gonna take one hell of a strong argument to make her even consider thinking otherwise. If she has to get stuck in this nonsense, she has to make it count. Maybe it’s her turn to play the super hero, as ill-cast as she feels for the role.]

So if we can salvage something new from all of this mess, I’m there.

[ The trouble is that they have only been told what to believe. They have only been told how they supposedly come to be here. Just the same, they have only been told what these sides purport to achieve, none of which sounds like following any sort of fate. Instead, it sounds to Subaru like driving a narrative to try and dictate what is already destined, when none of them know what that destiny is.

But Subaru isn't the argumentative sort and never had been, so he has no intention of trying to convince her that embracing all this on word alone may prove dangerous. ]

We do what we can with the information we have.

[ He says as much with a shrug, and in the same movement, unclasps his long, silly cape. In the next moment, he holds it out to her. They may not see eye-to eye, but she is clearly cold. ]

Though I admit I have no interest in a world without Kamui.

[She almost wants to argue further, but it’s so not worth it. She only just got here and she’s not the one spearheading this cause; she doesn’t need to waste her breath trying to convince someone that she’s in the right here.

And it probably helps that he catches her a little off guard with the sudden offering of his cape. Christ, that thing is long and goofy. And super warm-looking. And it is freezing balls out here.

It’s given a long, contemplative look, during which she diverts her gaze back to him with a raised eyebrow. But then she sighs and takes the thing in one hand.]

I’m guessing that’s your brother?

[The guy had mentioned they traveled worlds together, so it figures that’d be a priority for him.]

I’d suggest talking to that lady in charge here. [She hooks the thumb of her free hand over her shoulder, in the vague direction of the city’s Great Tree and that fancy manor.] Sign up and she’ll nab you the soul crystal thing of whoever you want. It sounds like too-good-to-be-true bullshit, but she actually managed to pull it off when I asked, so…

[So, it seemed like a no-brainer—and a huge, bittersweet relief.]

[ Subaru's eyebrows knit together. It's his first response to the suggestion. He dearly misses Kamui, yet if someone could truly pull him out of the universe, distill him into some stone... Asking for that to be done to his twin is something he quickly realizes he couldn't bear to do. If it truly is possible, then Kamui would be trapped. He couldn't hear his thoughts, or feel his touch, or speak with him.

For two years, Subaru himself had been confined to a sleep without end. Would it be like that for Kamui, if he asked such a thing of Yima...? No, surely it would be worse than that. Kamui could have no hope of waking — and if he did, surely he couldn't interact with the world.

It would be too selfish of him to impose such a fate upon his brother if he really is...

...No, he's not ready to consider that possibility yet. ]

Yes, he's my twin. Was the person you asked for also family?

[There had been no such internal conflict on Chloe’s end when faced with the opportunity. To her, everything she’s come to understand about this place and these circumstances they all find themselves in might as well be set in a binary. If you’re here, you’re alive. If you’re not, you’re dead like all the rest of the universes out there.

So even if she can only have a hunk of crystal to hold instead of the hand it truly belonged to… that was fine. It meant Max was safe from all of that reality-imploding bullshit. It meant that one day, maybe she’d be back on her own two feet instead of slumbering away in a stone. It’s better than the alternative. She can feel that it’s her, and it means that Chloe is going to fight like hell to make sure they can finally get some damn peace.

She finally opts to awkwardly drape the borrowed cape across her shoulders when that question comes, and she grimaces a little.]

No family. A friend. [More than that? Fuck.] She’s… I loved her, I guess.

[They’d stupidly tip-toed around it for the better part of a year, because things were complicated enough just trying to figure out what to do in the aftermath of everything they’d gone through back in the Bay. But they both knew it—you don’t sacrifice an entire town of people for someone you’re just friends with. And then… time or fate or whatever decided it was time to give them another punch in the dick.]

She saved my ass, and now I’m going to save hers.

[ A loved one. Regardless of the details, which Subaru privately acknowledges as not his business, he can appreciate making decisions based on a loved one. Only Chloe could gauge what was right for her own, so he makes no judgements regarding the business with Yima managing to pull the shard of her loved one. Instead he makes a soft, acknowledging sound.

He cannot imagine that, in his position, Kamui would make such a request. Surely, he would try to find or wait for him instead, as he had before. Regardless of which side he harmonizes with (if any), Subaru thinks that is what he ought to do.

Kamui had waited once before. Subaru can only imagine how difficult that had been. If it's his turn now, he should show the same patience and resolve his twin did. ]

I'm sure you'll see your wish through.

[ It's clear to him that, even if they don't see eye-to-eye (clearly they do not), that her care is genuine. Surely that will see her through to her goal. ]

[Chloe wants to say she’s got that sort of confidence about it, but if she’s being fully honest, she’s feeling out of her depth and unanchored here. But what she’s lacking in confidence, she more than makes up for in determination. She has to make all of this work.]

Yeah…

[One hand still clutching the cape draped over her shoulders and the other reaching up to awkwardly run fingers through her hair, she averts her gaze for a moment. And she once again catches sight of that Benny’s sign lit up just at the end of the street.]

Look, enough of this heavy shit. You hungry? [She motions to the soft glow of the diner’s sign in the distance.] I could go for taking a break and getting a bite to eat, so…

[Dude’s been nice enough despite all her bullshit, and frankly she could do with more company for a while as she gets her bearings in this place. Not that she’ll plainly admit it.]

[ Subaru spares the signage a glance. In truth, human food does absolutely nothing for him, but he supposes it won't hurt him either. If it's somewhere that she could feel more comfortable and center herself in the face of all this, then that's reason enough to go.

So he nods along, gesturing for her to lead the way. ]

I haven't tried it myself, but the name has me curious.

[ What sort of establishment would Benny's prove to be, exactly? It's a mystery to him, but one they can easily find the answers to. ]

and if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones [CLOSED-ISH]

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