festivals and mur--ahem, investigations 🎊🔍

[beleos]

COMMUNION WITH YIMA

After given some time for recovery and for Yima to hear reports of what transpired at the Tree of Life last month, a Communion message gently flows through the minds of each Shard-Bearer. They will have to choose to accept this message, and once they do, they will be greeted by Yima’s voice resonating pleasantly in their heads. She first apologizes for their harrowing experience with the Dryad, and that she hadn’t anticipated such a violent reaction from the Tree; she believes that their experiences point to an imbalance within the Tree itself, most likely brought about by the soon-to-come arrival of the Oracles.

She has spoken with Cyrus, and they have jointly decided that an investigation into the matter - and potentially the destruction of the Dryad - may be required to purge its influence from the Tree. Yima requests that any who would willingly seek out the Dryad volunteer to do so and will be outfitted with a ward against any tampering to prevent them from falling into the creature’s clutches a second time. It will take her a bit to fashion enough of these wards - but she anticipates being ready toward the end of the month.

She concludes her message with another heartfelt apology for your suffering, that she would not have sent any into such a situation she believed were truly dangerous. That being said, she takes responsibility for your ordeal and asks that if there is anything she can do in recompense, you have but to ask.

Yima will be available for Communion chatter here!

FESTIVAL OF REMEMBRANCE - HIGHSTORM

Takiltu is a month cycle the natives of Kenos regard with some amount of reverence and a hearty helping of excitement: the first part of the month (November) is spent reflecting on and celebrating the differing cultures and worlds each Kenosian represents. The second part of the month (December) is spent celebrating unity and togetherness, to come together with friends and family, to be kind to others and share in one’s wealth - whether that comes in the form of knowledge, monetary gains, or the exchange of gifts and one’s time.

Each city celebrates differently, the flavor of their festivals a reflection of their people.

In Highstorm, the first thirty days of Takiltu are spent in Remembrance. The city is decorated with string lights, paper lanterns, candles, and torches to illuminate the streets in beautiful colors and shimmering magical illusory shapes. The focal point of the festival takes place in The Court, where the reflecting pool has been especially decorated with arrangements of flowers and lights. Festival stands erected around the Courtyard peddle paper lanterns as well as refreshments, fanciful decorative items, and enchanted jewelry that is said to make one’s recollections of the past temporarily clearer.

The pool itself is the main attraction, here; citizens who approach its waters and gaze into its depths will find its normal abilities to reflect memories enhanced. The images are surreal for their clarity, vivid - and normally, one is requested to look into the eyes of those most precious to them whose souls remain lost, to pay homage to their memory and sacrifices, and to wish them rebirth in the new world to come. A purchased lantern is then lit and sent skyward where it floats into the moonlight, joining the others hovering above.

But this year, there is an addition to the usual fanfare. Emet-Selch has been asked to assist with the festival; as long as he is given permission, he can recreate the memory displayed in the reflecting pool. Yima has granted him a temporary blessing which enhances his natural creation abilities - a gift for their people she is grateful for. Your character can choose what it is they see in the water - whether it’s a place, a person, or the feelings of a certain point and time, he will temporarily recreate it around you. Everyone will be able to see this conjuring and interact with it while it is functional. It will last between 15 to 30 minutes before dissolving into beads of light that slowly trickle skyward before disappearing. You’ll be told to light a lantern, send it adrift, and that this will give peace to the part of you and your Shard that surely aches. But does it…?

Elsewhere in Highstorm, the High Theater has been painstakingly decorated and aglow with magical floating motes of light; the interior has been transformed into something of an Art Gallery. The pieces within are dedications to parts of worlds long gone, as well as the people in them; some are beautifully painted landscapes of exquisite, far-away places beyond the imagination. Some are more mundane and familiar snapshots of life in a home world not too different from your own. There are portraits of families, loved ones, and those the Zenites long for most. This is their time to mourn, to grieve, and to appreciate their pasts - the pasts that will lead them to a brighter future, one day. They must move on into the future, but treasuring that which came before is equally important to them.

Should you touch any of the motes of light that are around the art pieces decorating the Gallery, you will find yourself able to feel, hear, see, and taste a piece of the world the piece represents. Some of these are warm gatherings over a dinner table with family; others are heart-wrenching expressions of loss and bitterness and pain. Be cautious which you choose. Oh, and do be careful not to stand too closely with someone else when you touch one, or one accidentally touches you - the experience is absolutely contagious through Communion.

CELEBRATION OF CHERISHMENT - SPRINGSTAR

While Highstorm’s Festival of Remembrance is a more demure and reflective time, Springstar takes a much different approach to the season. In true Meri nature, the Celebration of Cherishment encapsulates celebrating life in all forms - and that means parties! The Psychagogía is the main hub of excitement considering, but festivities can be found in almost every single district of Springstar. Wherever you go, something is happening and someone is trying to rope you into having a good time.

The city has been decorated with bright and colorful multi-purpose magical ivy-like vines that sprouts buds that bloom over the course of the month into gorgeous flowers. These flowers are considered sacred, and their blooming is a momentous time of joy and good fortune. Each flower is left intact; disturbing one is tantamount to a war crime by the natives, so don’t get observed if you try to pluck one!

The Psychagogía is incredibly lively, teeming with people and events; almost every venue is peddling some kind of ‘Cherishment’ celebratory sale or discount. The first portion of the month includes what the locals call “the meri-ment” (and seem quite chuffed about that pun), in which Kenosians are encouraged to go bar hopping and taste the wide variety of specialty ales and liquor unkegged only around this time of year. Participants are highly encouraged to share stories of their worlds and cultures, to tell those they mingle with tales of the worlds they will one day return to and why they’re special, unique - to celebrate their one-day return.

Alongside this comes a great deal of outdoor grilling, fresh meats and vegetables sending tantalizing scents everywhere you go once the evening hours arrive. Some of these food and drinks can cause… interesting… effects if you consume them in excess, especially at the Emotional Damage - so try to show restraint. It would be a bit embarrassing to find yourself strangely infatuated with the first person you lay eyes on after your fifth night out on the town, or feeling compelled to express warm feelings aloud you wouldn’t normally commit to another. Luckily, it only lasts a short period of time - but beware the wicked hangover afterward. Strangely enough, if you’re suffering, you feel oddly compelled to seek out a little TLC from someone else - someone with whom you might have some unresolved feelings toward, positive or negative. Is it longing? Anger? Jealousy? Unspoken affections? Love? Whatever it is, you're more likely to seek them out for some care.

At the Coliseum, nightly brawls between Meris take place and the usual assortment of monsters are temporarily taken out of offer. This part of the festivities is one where each Kenosian is encouraged to settle any differences or misgivings with others and to get it out of their system, cleansing them of bad mojo - “leave it in the ring,” as it were. Despite beating each other bloody at times, most combatants willingly stop before it gets too serious and fighting to the death is not permitted. You must embrace your adversary before you leave, and your ‘bad blood’ will be considered purged and settled so you can start anew.

The Empório district is celebrating consumerism, because of course it is! All the usual goods are on a considerable discount, and for a brief time, gardening tools and supplies are free! The reason for this is that Springstar’s citizens are encouraged to plant one seedling in the gardens in Katoikitikós once the flowers lining the city have gone into full bloom. It is said this honors gods across cultures and time as well as invites good fortune. You are encouraged to plant a seedling in a group or pairing, as space is limited - and there are superstitions regarding this togetherness resulting in more favorable results. Should you plant a seedling with someone else, you might indeed find that something is beginning to blossom between you… Based on your Aspects, you might find yourselves feeling closer and more connected - or repulsed depending on your compatibility. This effect will last through the month after planting. Should you check on the seedling later, its health will be reflected in the state of your relationship. Friends will find the little plant thriving; enemies will find it is sickly and dying.

For those Shard-Bearers who have already harmonized with the Meridian or who have quarters in Heliopolis, you will find the communal meals much more lavish and indulgent than usual. There may even be a taste of home waiting for you among the spreads on offer, or some comfort food you haven’t had in a while. It is encouraged to share anything to your taste - or even to share why it is meaningful to you via Communion. Or you can just eat. You do you, man.

Once the flowers have bloomed and the festivities reach their peak, one might find the city loud and boisterous and sleep a little more difficult to come by. Springstar is absolutely thriving and alive - and you, too, feel more invigorated and energetic despite any lack of zzz’s. Should you leave the city, however, this effect will vanish and you might find yourself unnaturally fatigued and in need of more rest than is customary. Returning to Springstar will slowly build up your stamina again. This effect lasts until the end of the month.

THE MYSTERY OF ALENROUX

Once celebrations are in full-swing in the cities, some characters (i.e., any characters that choose to participate in this prompt) will be contacted by Cyrus or Yima, depending on their faction or whichever they feel a stronger inclination towards if they are currently Unharmonized. Both will explain that there’s something that they’d like you to investigate, but also to prepare and be careful, since this request doesn’t come without danger… A Shard has been lost in Alenroux, and they both hope you’ll be able to retrieve it.

MERIDIAN

“I’ve gotten word that a Zenith Shard-Bearer was sent to Alenroux a little bit before you arrived, and they haven’t come back yet. Normally, none of our business, but based on what some of the farmers have been saying, I think they’ve gotten hit by Discord. If it gets high enough, well… You don’t really have your mind anymore. We can help them through Purification. Even if it’s just for long enough to calm them down, it’s better than them being trapped in madness. It might be easier to dissipate them first, though, then Purify their Shard. They were last seen heading to the Northern forests. Let me know what I can give you to help, and make sure to help each other. Good luck.”

ZENITH

"Please heed my request, though I do not ask this of you lightly... One of the Zenith's children has been lost among the fields of Alenroux come nightfall and I fear the worst has befallen them. There are dangerous elements attracted to the presence of a soul, and the likelihood our brethren has been lost... it is great. Seek out the Shard - and if you are able to retrieve it, please do so. If it has suffered corruption too great to be saved or would place you in too great a danger to take back, then... I trust you to make the merciful choice. I place this in your hands and will give you whatever you require to see it through. Look out for your fellow Zenith and work together, as I do not want to lose more of you. Be well."

Both factions will offer their recruits access to standard weaponry and armor/protective clothing. If a character asks for more, they’ll be given a weapon or a piece of armor with minor magical properties which would normally cost 1 AC token to purchase. Magical weapons are on loan however. If your character takes these and/or chooses to keep it, please note this in your Committed Actions! If they choose to keep standard weaponry, Cyrus/Yima will just be disappointed in your dishonesty. :(

When you arrive during the day cycle, you’ll also find horses and magic hoverboards to use (they go the same speed tbh), because heading North to the forests is a bit of a trek, and you might not make it there in time on foot! As the sun starts to set, you’ll see the people in Alenroux start to leave, going clearly your opposite direction. Once night falls (Nov. 9th OOC), it doesn’t take long for things to change.

There’s just a sliver of a crescent moon in the sky, which makes the rolling hills and forests much more ominous than they were during the day. And as the stories say, it only takes an hour or two before you start to run into strange creatures. Closer to the Cornerstone, there are indeed strange creatures, and while they may not all look scary, they might present different kinds of dangers such as…

• A light in the dark looks like a fairy, but stare at it too long and you’ll find yourself hypnotized by a ghastly fish will lead you to a body of water to drown you.
• An innocuous puddle may form up into a mass of corrosive goo, complete with the bones and items of the last person it came across. When you slice it, it simply creates a copy of itself, so hopefully you realize this before you’re surrounded.
• A strange straw poppet (sans pins, of course) that possesses you once you touch it and will use your body to try and fight anyone else while your consciousness is trapped inside the doll. To be freed, you only have to destroy the doll, but you’ll feel the pain of how its destroyed even if you don’t bear any injuries from it.

However, as you get closer to the Northern forests, they become significantly more fearsome…

• With a roar, a massive, multiheaded beast descends, and each of its mouths is perfectly capable of taking a bite out of you. Watch out for the snake’s head in particular, since its venom will cause you to hallucinate your worst fears.
• As you come face to face with an odd creature, bioluminescence lights up on its skin, and the spins on its back quiver with a sound like a rattlesnake’s. As the spines quiver, you find it exceptionally difficult to take your eyes off them and move as it stalks closer slowly. You can fight blind, right?
• Diving in and out of larger shadows like its water is a slimy beast that’s incredibly fast. Its teeth may be small, but its tail is a razor-sharp whip that could remove a limb if you’re not careful.

These are just examples, however. There are many creatures lurking the wilds of Alenroux, so feel free to create your own monsters with unique effects.

It's a difficult trek North, and you may be tired from hours of running, fighting, or both… But eventually, a few people do find what they were looking for. They might have even missed it, if not for how their Shards suddenly felt like they were burning. From the shadows, a twisted creature of roots and lights which what looks like many crystals in a glowing mass appears and one of its eyes locks on you. It looks like now is your chance.

NOTES

Weather summary for the first 30 days of Takiltu (NOV & DEC):

Highstorm is in late fall, early winter season. Some flurries may occasionally fall and it is getting considerably cold out there! Bundle up!

Springstar is in the throes of early summer; the weather is climate and pleasantly warm for outdoor celebrations (but not sweltering). There are occasional afternoon showers, but they don’t last very long.

Notable city changes:

If you wander the Markets in Highstorm, you might notice some of the peddlers seem a bit wary of you. Hm, guess something happened around here! Probably totally unrelated, but Silco and Vander (or anyone with them) will be treated with nervous suspicion.

Similarly, if you're traveling with Set (or you're Set) in Springstar, you might occasionally find yourself getting strange looks. Ask Set why.

Faction updates:

There are no explicit changes in faction behavior at this time. This will be a staple in all future event write-ups to catalogue the fluidity of the conflict as it progresses, though, so we're including it here for posterity!

Event Notes:

The Reflecting Pool in the Courts of Highstorm can be observed normally with no addtional effects or can bring your memory to vivid life thanks to the help of Emet-Selch (and Yima). If you grant him permission (which can be handwaved), he will breathe life into whichever memory you have chosen to view! If this includes any NPC’s or interactive elements, you will be responsible for playing them out in any tags until they disappear. Please see Emet’s toplevel for any interactions you’d like to thread out with him as a part of this.

For the Gallery in Highstorm, the art depicted in and scenes experienced through the pieces are up to you to create! Feel free to go wild with any associated NPC's in the scene and worldbuild as you see fit. Highstorm holds a variety of citizens from across the multiverse, so you could feasibly go fantastical places, or experience something distinctly profound and beyond your imagination...

The drinks and refreshments in Springstar can be enchanted in just about any way you’d like, including bringing upon minor physical changes of the cute, fun, and flirty variety! Feel free to get creative (as long as you get permission from your thread partner), the Meris would also merrily insist growing extra fluffy, scaly, etc bits during the celebration will only help you party harder! 🥳

As reminders for Alenroux, once night falls, a character is not able to leave until sunrise, which is 24 hours later. If your character is dissipated, you can have a PC retrieve their Shard or the respective Faction they're allied with will send out a search party to find it. Remember to report character deaths!

CODING

Comments

also gotta put his equine language skills to use

[warmare]

[It takes her far longer than it should, but she makes it back to all fours, the half-gnawed rabbit dangling from one hand. Even though the rational part of her that remained wished to cast it aside, that she’d never been caught with it in the first place… the supernatural hunger that gnaws at her bellies keeps her clutching it tight and possessive, not unlike an animal with food aggression ready to snap.

But she doesn’t.

He asks if she’s just been out here alone all this time, ever since she’d fled the so-called “hospitality” of that woman Yima… and he is right. Unable to trust either of the faction leaders, still half wondering if this was some fresh hell or she really had gone insane for such a thing to happen not once but twice to her… she has existed on the fringes of both societies, never trespassing far or allowing either to sink their hooks in.

She’s been called foolish for it by more than one person already. She doesn’t need this man’s judgement on top of it. But she isn’t a liar, and so she cannot shake her head in a negative, just as her pride prevents her from nodding and admitting it. Instead… she stands there, as if to suggest that he will just have to guess for himself, why would she deign answer or do his work for him?

But the problem with being raised by human hands… is that all of the meticulous schooling (beating) that went into training her body language and expressions… only covered about half of her. Her human-like face might seem haughty and cold, but her equine half… is hiding her hurts as best it can, her tail now withdrawn tight to the back of her rump, her hindquarters taut and curled.

Embarrassed. Afraid. Lost.]

[comelately]

[ Johnny was raised by human hands, too, but his childhood was always spent with one foot in the stables. He knew how to ride a horse before he knew how to read. He sees right through her. To be frank, even if he wasn't intimately familiar with horses, he thinks he would know. She's tough, and standoffish, but he'd already seen a glimpse of the human underneath her steely exterior before, back when they'd both been freshly birthed into their newest nightmare in that underground chamber. Hayame's not nearly as indomitable as she'd like people to think she is.

He meets her cold gaze for a few moments; then, with a small, silent sigh through his nose, he drops his eyes to his bag, strapped in front of him on Slow Dancer's back. It's bulging from the shopping he must have been doing before deciding to let her wander in the grass for a bit. Maybe it's lucky for Hayame that Johnny's own upbringing was in the cushy world of the British-American elites; he's not much of a cook, and so the small paper-wrapped package he pulls out of the knapsack contains a meal already made. He twists the baguette to snap it and its contents in half, and then holds one half out towards her. ]

You allergic to cheese?

[ it's a regular sandwich - cheese, cured meat, some vegetables and dressing. he doesn't even ask if she wants it, because he gets the sense that she'd reject it. God knows he hates handouts. If he just foists it on her, it'll be easier for her to accept with some pride intact.

(Gyro would've admonished him for sharing his supplies with someone; Johnny, unfortunately, always was the more sympathetic one.) ]

[warmare]

[If he had asked her if she wanted a meal, if he had offered to take her to get one... Hayame would have refused. She would have had to refuse, she wouldn't have been able to find a way to abandon her tattered pride and leave it dead by the side of the road. In one thing, (perhaps more than one thing), they are united.

Hayame hates handouts. She can't bear to choose to accept one. But what she can do, just barely... is answer a question.]

... I don't know what that means.

[The concept of allergies isn't one well understood or even known, in her world. Cheese had not yet been popularized, either, when cattle were used as beasts of burden and not for dairy. But she thinks she'd had something called that in Horos, once, and it had been odd, but palatable...

Which meant she just. She just had to take it, that was the only thing left. Her tail quivers with shame, her dark eyes struggle to settle on his face, but. It's right there, he'd holding it out, and it's... proper food, the sort of thing a person ate, not a beast. Her fingers twitch, ready to swallow enough false ego to allow herself to accept charity thoughtfully disguised as unasked for pressure... Once he tells her what the hell he is actually asking.]

[comelately]

I'm asking if it'll make you sick. [ a pause; his eyes flick over again to the chewed rabbit, briefly. ] ... Probably not.

[ she is half-equine; she probably has guts of steel. Johnny carefully keeps any relief at her accepting his offer out of his expression. He'd had a suspicion - a concern? - that she was simply waiting for death to take her. If she's still willing to accept help, even cloaked in cool nonchalance like this, then she must not have given up yet. Again, part of him questions why he should care, but it's a little too late for that. He's stopped, and he's given her half his lunch. Either it's his petty desire to make her see him as human and respect him, or it's his soft side getting the better of him. Most likely, it's a combination of both.

He doesn't address the sandwich or her poor situation again. But he does make a mental note of it. ]

You talked to the guy in charge here? Cyrus?

[warmare]

[If it would make her sick. Ah. Her fingers spasm in their grip on the half-eaten rabbit, bloody and raw. It had satisfied her cravings for meat, but it had ruined her delusion that she was not a beast, even though what the dryad seemed to be punishing her for had been the most bestial of actions, a fight or flight instinct abused and powerful enough to spur her into abandoning the dignity she'd fought her whole life for and instead replace her mind with that of a rabid animal's that would sink it's teeth into an enemy's throat and rip.

She doesn't know if the food he holds out to her will sate her unending cravings. There is meat in it, she can smell it, but it is not that much. But she wants it to be enough. She wants to stop feeling like this. She wants to go home, she wants to die, she wants to live-

For now, she takes the sandwich. She doesn't thank him, because if she does it will mean he pitied her, and needs to be thanked, but her withers are tight and her vestigial mane and tail are both flat when the rabbit falls limp to the ground and she replaces it with proper food. Hayame knows she should wait for him to eat first, or for his questions, but she can't wait any longer. She takes a large bite, uncaring of taste or texture as long as it would be a meal intended for people.

(It was delicious, even if a part of her Discord-laden mind wanted it bloodier, meatier-)

It is two bites before she can swallow and respond.]

I did.

[Briefly, when he had come to rescue those trapped in the dryad's roots.]

... Did he give you one, too?

[The bead.]

[comelately]

[ it's good she decides to eat first, because Johnny doesn't look like he's about to tuck into his half of the sandwich. Trying to eat while he's on horseback just feels like a bad idea, even if they're not exactly riding hard today. For one thing, he can't use his legs to hold on, so keeping his hands free is crucial; for another, he just knows it'd end up making him sick. Luckily, he's hardly about to cast judgement on Hayame for going ahead without him. They're standing around in some kind of netherworld purgatory garden, not sitting down for a nice dinner. Manners aren't exactly important.

His eyes brighten slightly with approval as she moves right into the topic he was going to bring up. ]

Yeah. I saw my friend in there, alive. Everything's just how it was when I left.

[ minus his own grievous head injury, but Johnny likes to imagine whatever power brought him here had the decency to save him from bleeding out immediately after. ]

If that's real, then we still got a chance.

[ he can't say whether or not Hayame wants to return home. He can say that she'd almost certainly rather be there than here, judging by her current state. And he remembers, too, the little glimpses into her past he'd seen while she was lost in fever dreams. She has something to go back to. Even if that "something" is only memories now. ]

[warmare]

[He is not eating. But... she can't stop now. She's not actually starving, despite what he'd caught her doing. She's been eating, it's just... nothing has sated her. She'd exhausted what little coin she'd had, she'd resorted to hunting, she'd resorted to not even waiting to cook, but.

She also can't wait on him. She tries to pace herself, to at least take smaller bites, but half of the half of sandwich is gone already, even as she tries to keep her mind from hyperfocusing on the sliced meat and how it tasted on her tongue and instead think about "it". The bead, the ith... il... the Iliachtida. The bead the Tribune had placed in her palm when she had spoken with him at the tree of life.]

I saw...

[She doesn't want to share it. She doesn't want to tell anyone what she saw, but... this man, whether she'd wanted him to or not... He had seen things already. So perhaps she can admit-]

The last day I remember, but not... not just the things I saw with my own eyes.

[She says it like that because... of course she had not trusted it. Her first thought was that he must be stealing memories from her head and just trying to fool her, just plucking them out and passing them off as a glimpse into her world-]

It knew things it should not. It has to be real.

[But despite how she says that, her knuckles tight on the sandwich... She is here, not having cast her lot in with Meridian. She says it, but... perhaps a part of her still can't believe it, no matter how desperately she wants to. She doesn't understand magic. She doesn't know what it's capable of.

Could it be a false vision, despite all the things she'd seen in it?]

[comelately]

[ maybe she wasn't starving, but when he saw her there, he saw a person who desperately needed someone to intervene and help. Johnny's no angel and not much help to anyone, to be sure, but he was there. Fate is funny like that. Sometimes the stars align just so, and you're in exactly the right position to be helping out the woman who would probably have seen you culled from the group if she was in charge.

That said: all of that stuff feels sort of hazy and far away now. He hasn't forgotten the things she said to him. He's also not so petty that he can't see the bigger picture. They're just two people, unwittingly caught up in some cosmic tragedy neither of them understand. Under these circumstances, she'd have to do a lot more than be mean for him to truly hold a grudge.

Her explanation has him nodding briskly. ]

Yeah. Same for me. It was like I was lookin' down from above.

[ Johnny neither confirms or denies that it has to be real. He doesn't know. He's seen so many impossible things, now; he's spoken to the dead and seen a girl conjure wealth from nothingness. Maybe there's a Stand out there that can weave memories into illusions and store them as beads. He doesn't know. But he'd like to believe it's real. Just as before, he can't accept that everything is gone, and any evidence he can find is worth clinging to. ]

... I dunno what it means, exactly. It could just be that guy wants us to work for him and has some crazy tricks up his sleeves. I know I don't trust him. But those "pearls" are proof him and his know something about home. [ he folds his arms, resting them on top of his pack where it's perched on Slow Dancer's shoulders. ] You say you're on his side, you get money on the regular. Enough to get by on. Whether you mean it or you just want more information - it doesn't matter.

[warmare]

[If there is one thing that Hayame wanted to hear from others, now, despite her personal distaste for interacting with... what seemed like most all people... It was their experience with the iliachtida. She does not know enough about magic to tell for sure if some spell or ability could peer into her mind and hypothesize images to convince her that she was being shown her world. Could it know what her brother Yubari had been doing? Could it show her what other jinba in that hidden village had been up to while she was elsewhere?

She did not know. But for some reason, she still feels vindicated by the simplest of things, like when her fellow former-Pleroma confirms that it had been a bird's eye view that showed him more than his own eyes had observed. Enough so that for a moment she lets herself just eat rather than address business, tearing, chewing, swallowing, before... He seems to suggest she should just pledge herself to the Tribune in name only for the sake of coin and comfort.

Her stance tightens again, the brief moment of "relaxation" vanishing as she looks across at him over the ears of his horse.]

Is your loyalty so cheap as-

[So cheap as that? So worthless? But she has just enough presence of mind to know that... he has done her a favor. She is the one in his debt, now, even if was unasked for. She is supposed to be...]

You would have me sell my pride to the nearest bidder?

[Her half sandwich is gone.]

[comelately]

[ on second thought, he should have expected this reaction. ]

No offense, but your "pride" isn't doing so great right now, either.

[ is it really prouder to languish in a public square, eating half-cooked wild animals and hoping nobody comes across you? He doesn't think so. Johnny's had to learn a lot of hard lessons about pride in the past few years. No one can avoid humiliation and failure - no one alive, at least, and the dead have no use for pride, anyway. ]

You're not swearing fealty or anything. You're doing the bare minimum to save your hide and figure out what the hell's going on. If he bugs you, then you leave. Easy. [ he gives Hayame a hard stare back. ] I don't know who you're worried about letting down, but there's no one left in this place but us.

[warmare]

[... So his loyalty is that cheap.

Hayame wants to condemn him. She wants to insult him. And yet... How empty, how purely idiotic that would look, coming from a woman who was living on the fringes of civilization, scraping by on half-cooked kills as Discord at her up. She isn't so unaware as to not know that.

But she has to find something. She cannot... She cannot let it slide, she cannot just accept the idea of selling her service so... so dishonorably, like some common ronin-]

You think it would be easy?

[To abandon the oath she supposedly made, to "betray" a faction? ... To let down Matsukaze, who had believed in her, who would surely have wanted her to walk towards the "light"- ?]

Did that Tribune tell you that? That it would be "easy"?

[comelately]

[ he scoffs at that, a puff from between his teeth. ]

He didn't tell me anything. I make my own choices. If he wants me to be loyal, he's gonna have to earn it. Until then, I'm gonna use them. They're sure as hell using us.

[ as radical as the shift in surroundings has been, his own mindset is largely unchanged. He's lost. This world has nothing to do with him, outside of being where he's suddenly ended up, and his interest in it begins and ends at its relevance to his "real life" - the one he had on Earth. Johnny can't bring himself to care about lofty concepts like the value of existence or the fate of all worlds when the tiny matters of finding ways to move from point A to point B or feeding his horse or seeing his best friend's stupid smile again weigh on him much more heavily. He won't pretend it's honorable, or even ethical. But, similar to pride, honor has rarely done much for him.

It's clearly different for Hayame. Whatever world she came from led her to cling to her honor and her pride for dear life. Even without knowing the specifics, it's easy enough for him to understand why she'd be left in the middle here, bereft of the systems that held her up before and between two sides that seem equally just. Understanding, however, is a far cry from supporting. It's idealistic, he thinks. ]

... You don't have to justify your own survival. That's all I'm saying.

[warmare]

[People keep saying that. "They're using us." "We're being used." But Hayame has always been property, a tool, and the only fate such a thing could expect was use. ... She doesn't understand, in a way, why they always sound so angry, bitter, or surprised.

What she also doesn't understand... is not having to justify her own survival. It was another thing she had simply... always had to do. The moment she was not useful, the moment she became a liability... it had always been a fact of her life that it would end. Either she would be put down, a mercy, or she would have the arms flensed from her shoulders and whatever fate came after would be one she knew would be worse than death. She had fought every day to prove that she deserved to live.

That she deserved to be used.

Her gaze, haunted by the Discord built up in her shard, drops to her hand. The sandwich is gone. He says she doesn't have to justify her survival. If she said it aloud-]

Someone told me once...

[Not "someone"-- a good man, the best man she had ever known]

That I should want to live in a world where I could feel happy to be alive.

[To have survived. Half-drowned, saved an inch from a death she had deliberately threw herself towards in the hope of taking an enemy with her, and he had told her that. That her life was... precious.

And now, she's desperate enough to turn her head back up, her remaining eye and the empty socket where one had used to be turned up towards a cripple on horseback to ask,]

... Are you happy?

[comelately]

[ That's a hell of a question. Not because it's hard to answer (no, he's not happy, and he doesn't even remember the last time he was truly, honestly happy) but because it's hard to hear. The best way of dealing with his misery was not to pay any attention to it. No one else ever did. He sure wasn't expecting Hayame, of all people, to be the one to bring it up, even if she's very clearly not inquiring after his mental health. Briefly, he looks a little surprised; then his expression hardens again as he tries to suppress the bitter hopelessness he feels surging up again.

He's not sure what she wants to hear, and he's not sure what he should say, either - he's always been bad at that stuff - so he just answers honestly. ]

... No.

[ if she needs someone to teach her how to be happy, he's the wrong guy, and, in fact, he'd like to meet that magical person, himself. But if she needs someone who will tell her to give life the finger and struggle against fate, regardless of how terribly it ends... ]

Feels like the whole goddamn world's out to make me miserable. I probably deserve it. But you know what? I'm still alive anyway. And I'm tired of suffering... So if I gotta force the world to let me be happy, too, I'll do it.

cw: ableism

[warmare]

[Bitter hopelessness, at least, she would understand. It is the happiness that escapes her comprehension. Even though Matsukaze had told her he wanted her to live in a world where she could feel happy, and not ashamed, over the simple act of being alive... What did that mean? Why, why had she been ripped from the world she belonged to this place before he could tell her how to do that? Before she could kill herself in his arms so that she did not need to wonder what those words meant... and what they meant could have happened, if she hadn't ruined everything.]

...

[She regrets already that she had asked him. It put such a weakness on display, and it meant she would need to say more, and the more she spoke the more it would be clear that she doesn't know... anything about how people should speak to one another as equals, anything that wasn't the path of a warrior.]

How can a-

[A cripple. ... But she does not call him that. He had given her half a sandwich, and now she is a jinba with one eye. If she says "how can one man change a world", she is sure he will say the same as so many have before him. Something ridiculous about how if they all just worked together, something about the power of bonds and friendship... her sharp teeth nip harshly into her lip and her fingers curl into impotent fists.

She shouldn't have said anything. How foolish-]

- I wish you luck.

[She reaches down, retrieving her half-eaten rabbit. Perhaps with something better in her stomach she can now hold off on her cravings long enough to cook it.]

My gratitude for the meal.

[comelately]

[ his answer wasn't what she wanted. Or maybe the question wasn't something she ever intended to ask at all - he can't tell. Either way, she's withdrawing, seeming like she regrets having said anything, and Johnny lets her. There's nothing in it for him in forcing her to chat about her issues; he's not exactly yearning to befriend someone who barely sees him as human, from his point of view, even if she is half horse. He just doesn't want to see her wither away and die, especially not for something as stupid as pride. It's frustrating. More than that, it's sad.

He tugs on Slow Dancer's reins just slightly to get her attention back, though he doesn't make to leave yet; the horse clearly wants to investigate Hayame, canting her head in that direction just a little, but even Slow Dancer can read the signs of a creature that does not want to be approached. ]

I live around here, [ he comments, blandly, letting her interpret that however she likes. Maybe he'll buy a second sandwich next time, just in case. ] Don't be dead next time I catch you. We're supposed to be on the same team.

[ that's how it was in Greentruth; this place is different, but they're still bound by that familiar thread in a world where they're surrounded by a thousand strangers. ]

cw: suicidal ideation

[warmare]

[Don't be dead.

She'd tried to be, in Horos. After the first encounter with the Innocence in Venera, she had tried to end it. She had tried to slit her stomach open rather than live in that world she didn't belong in, confronted constantly with what she saw as insanity, insult, or impossible. But that hadn't worked. The shards kept them alive, and every time she had tried to shatter it she became so sick that she physically could not go through with it. And so she'd thrown herself into any violent confrontation with the secret hope that she wouldn't survive- that she could find a death that was worthy of a warrior.

She hadn't. Even here... the shards kept them alive once more. But this time... this time she had seen her world in a bead. Another impossibility, and yet... It sustained her more than anything in Horos ever had. It meant she did have to stay alive... and to do that, to pursue that vision she had seen...

Hayame does not turn around. But she does answer.]

... Call upon me, then, if you have a mission that needs completing.

[She would see it done, no matter who she had to work with or what she had to do with herself. She would repay the debt he had forced on her in service, because it was all she had. And if he did encounter her again... well, the debt could get bigger by another sandwich-worth.]

]