That's it, then. That should be the end of it. Amos' body slackens. His shoulders slump, he exhales a breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding. They don't gotta do anything else here. They can just be on their separate ways.
He's ignoring that look in her eyes, ignoring that confirmation that she knows — and then she says his name, trails off, and he turns his head. Looks away. Dips his gaze, stares at some random spot on the ground not even between them without even really seeing it.
It isn't something people are supposed to know. He's brought it up once or twice in his life, if only to make a point to someone else who needed to understand what dangers were out there. Why kids needed to be protected. Nobody ever has a response. There isn't supposed to be one. There's nothing that can take it back or fix it or anything. It will always be a part of him, it will always be the main thing that shaped him into who he is today, and he has no choice but to live with that.
Far too much time passes. ]
It happened. [ He still isn't looking at her. There's a broken quality to his voice; he coughs, rough around the edges but sturdier when he speaks again. ] It's over with. Can't do anything about it now.
[ If he'd had to stay in his past, he would have killed himself a long time ago. ]
1/2, cw reference to suicidal thoughts
That's it, then. That should be the end of it. Amos' body slackens. His shoulders slump, he exhales a breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding. They don't gotta do anything else here. They can just be on their separate ways.
He's ignoring that look in her eyes, ignoring that confirmation that she knows — and then she says his name, trails off, and he turns his head. Looks away. Dips his gaze, stares at some random spot on the ground not even between them without even really seeing it.
It isn't something people are supposed to know. He's brought it up once or twice in his life, if only to make a point to someone else who needed to understand what dangers were out there. Why kids needed to be protected. Nobody ever has a response. There isn't supposed to be one. There's nothing that can take it back or fix it or anything. It will always be a part of him, it will always be the main thing that shaped him into who he is today, and he has no choice but to live with that.
Far too much time passes. ]
It happened. [ He still isn't looking at her. There's a broken quality to his voice; he coughs, rough around the edges but sturdier when he speaks again. ] It's over with. Can't do anything about it now.
[ If he'd had to stay in his past, he would have killed himself a long time ago. ]