[ the reminder that anyone else is around her and might be listening causes Rudbeckia to bolt upright, her book falling to the floor with a soft thud—but more than that, it's the sudden hostility that raises her hackles. Gen barely catches a glimpse of alarm on her expression before she ducks her head, avoiding his stare, fingers twisting in her skirts. ]
N-No, that's not...
[ there's no point in explaining herself. it's not like she can tell the truth: that it had been absent-minded, that she had simply found herself thinking about events in recent years before her first life ended, the anthrax outbreak in Russia ascribed to the thawing of a reindeer corpse frozen in permafrost, the discussion surrounding further viruses that might emerge due to climate change. and if she could say any of that, what would it matter? this boy didn't ask because he wants to hear it.
no, she knows that tone. she's heard it so many goddamn times in her lives that she can't even associate it with just one voice. ]
I'm sorry. [ this is how it goes: rather than trying to defend herself, it's best to accept the fault. ] You're right, it was stupid. I shouldn't have spoken.
no subject
N-No, that's not...
[ there's no point in explaining herself. it's not like she can tell the truth: that it had been absent-minded, that she had simply found herself thinking about events in recent years before her first life ended, the anthrax outbreak in Russia ascribed to the thawing of a reindeer corpse frozen in permafrost, the discussion surrounding further viruses that might emerge due to climate change. and if she could say any of that, what would it matter? this boy didn't ask because he wants to hear it.
no, she knows that tone. she's heard it so many goddamn times in her lives that she can't even associate it with just one voice. ]
I'm sorry. [ this is how it goes: rather than trying to defend herself, it's best to accept the fault. ] You're right, it was stupid. I shouldn't have spoken.