[ Dimitri listens to all this in silence. It means a great deal to him, honestly. And while some of it he already understands intellectually it's still... reassuring to hear the thoughts and words come from someone else. ]

That's true. Although at times I feel like I cannot put the load down... and on the other hand if I do not wish to put the load down is that really so bad?

[ That's more of a rhetorical question. ]

But... finding one's self, however you can... I think that's important. And while I don't know your particular circumstances as well as I might, I would say you ought to allow yourself to be... whoever it is you wish to be. Just Alice, perhaps.