[Even if this weren't something Mamoru wouldn't talk to Amos about because he's too shocked about reliving all of this again or just something he keeps under lock and key in what he considers is the well-maintained safe of his mind (not anymore, apparently, with communion and all these shenanigans), he knows what's done is done and there's no way to go around it other than own up to his shit past that formed the messed up state of his head and mindset.

As is, he chuckles. And it's so garishly wrong in this mourning setting, a man almost about to die in his arms and his current laughing voice skittering across the dirt into the woods.] Yeah, that would be a great conversation to have over tea. 'I was thinking, kid, your calling is not teaching, but to actually go for the kill and eventually get killed in the process.'