[Of course she did. Of course she wondered. She'd tried to dismiss it, and maybe she would have succeeded had he not just said such an impossible thing to her, but now that he has-]
A king?
[Unlike "duke"... that translates perfectly well enough. She thinks of (unwittingly broadcasts in communion) that day in the stables, with him curled up on her flank, that morning in his living room, his forehead pressed between her shoulderblades, and that- that man had been a king?]
We're-
[She almost says they're not equal. But she doesn't want- She doesn't want to be someone's lesser anymore, even though she feels it almost every day. She just wants to find something to explain what is happening, something that makes sense-
But everything she finds is sharp and weaponized and she should just say it, but she hesitates. Even though she hadn't wanted to hear what he'd said, the look he always wore when she denied him, the way his brow furrowed and his eyes looked hurt-
She doesn't want that, either. She wanted-
What did people who love want?]
I am a warrior.
[So- No one should expect her to be able to love.]
I cannot give you children.
[So- No one would want to wed someone who couldn't continue their line.]
no subject
A king?
[Unlike "duke"... that translates perfectly well enough. She thinks of (unwittingly broadcasts in communion) that day in the stables, with him curled up on her flank, that morning in his living room, his forehead pressed between her shoulderblades, and that- that man had been a king?]
We're-
[She almost says they're not equal. But she doesn't want- She doesn't want to be someone's lesser anymore, even though she feels it almost every day. She just wants to find something to explain what is happening, something that makes sense-
But everything she finds is sharp and weaponized and she should just say it, but she hesitates. Even though she hadn't wanted to hear what he'd said, the look he always wore when she denied him, the way his brow furrowed and his eyes looked hurt-
She doesn't want that, either. She wanted-
What did people who love want?]
I am a warrior.
[So- No one should expect her to be able to love.]
I cannot give you children.
[So- No one would want to wed someone who couldn't continue their line.]
I have already promised to die-
[So-]