[ dextera feels a kinship with makoto that he simply doesn’t with anyone else. there’s a yearning hunger in both of them, borne of different reasons but shaking out just the same, and they’ve mutually shared vulnerability even if makoto doesn’t remember. makoto is his friend, someone dextera wants to hold onto—but when he brings up the potential of them returning to their separate worlds, dextera is surprised to find that it doesn’t scare him.
after all, what he wants is makoto here, now. he had mourned when he thought makoto was gone and never forgot what they shared, even with all tangible evidence of their relationship destroyed in horos. it’s not a lack of feeling for makoto that makes him take the possibility of separation with a brave face; rather, it’s the intimate knowledge that makoto could never be what dextera needs someone to be.
it’s a friendship of a different kind, but still only that: a friendship. makoto does not want to become one with him. to take him back to dextera’s world would only be miserable for them both; in the back of his mind, he compares it to gen, the guilty awareness that he doesn’t care if gen is miserable the way he would care for makoto.
he addresses none of this. instead, his expression turns fleetingly thoughtful as he falls back on his silence as an answer. luckily, makoto then asks a question that makes it necessary to really think.
the answer he comes to is a simple one, ]
…I’ll go with the Archangel.
[ not because he’ll choose to. he knows the archangel will drag his shard along into whatever new world is created in the aftermath. there’s no agency in this statement, the way there should be. ]
no subject
after all, what he wants is makoto here, now. he had mourned when he thought makoto was gone and never forgot what they shared, even with all tangible evidence of their relationship destroyed in horos. it’s not a lack of feeling for makoto that makes him take the possibility of separation with a brave face; rather, it’s the intimate knowledge that makoto could never be what dextera needs someone to be.
it’s a friendship of a different kind, but still only that: a friendship. makoto does not want to become one with him. to take him back to dextera’s world would only be miserable for them both; in the back of his mind, he compares it to gen, the guilty awareness that he doesn’t care if gen is miserable the way he would care for makoto.
he addresses none of this. instead, his expression turns fleetingly thoughtful as he falls back on his silence as an answer. luckily, makoto then asks a question that makes it necessary to really think.
the answer he comes to is a simple one, ]
…I’ll go with the Archangel.
[ not because he’ll choose to. he knows the archangel will drag his shard along into whatever new world is created in the aftermath. there’s no agency in this statement, the way there should be. ]