[ at Akua's assertion that such a thing is the mundane unfairness of life, the Communion darkens further, thick and black as tar. although the specifics of Ruby's thoughts aren't clear through the muck, what can be understood is that she cannot be convinced; for some reason, it is fundamentally impossible to her, beyond simple belief. it is the helplessness of a trapped animal, knowing that it cannot escape. (because if it had been her first life alone, that would be one thing—but for her next to be such a perfect mirror of the same, it couldn't be coincidence. there's a cycle here that she will never be able to break no matter how many times she repeats it.)

her expression is harder to read than her thoughts: she looks at Akua with a dull, tired gaze. ]

I've never wanted revenge on anyone. I just want to live. [ it's a bleak sentiment, not born of real desire or joy for life. ] I think I must have done something wrong in a past life, or I wasn't... born good. God is punishing me for something. That's all I can think of.

[ that's what Zenith is seizing on, what her sister's voice is murmuring so sweetly about, but Rudbeckia knows better. whatever new world they create, she will live out the same wretched existence once again. she's comforted herself with the thought that she would rather suffer than die, but... ]