It's easy getting most people off his back. A few choice words here, a bristling snarl there, capped off with a little extra posturing usually do the trick with room to spare -- Gen knows his reputation preceeds him, and it should be easy getting people to leave him alone. He's always had to maintain that distance from everyone. It's what it took to keep a secret in that shitty, suffocating small hometown of his. But it feels like every attempt he makes to shake Set off yields zero progress; the warmth of his body just seems to pull closer and closer, like sand seeping into every crevice in cracked dirt. Every word he says claws into his thoughts, and he desperately wants to block them out. He doesn't want Set tempting him towards honesty like this.
Those fingers trace his lips, and Gen drops that pretense of a smirk. Then, after barely a split second's deliberation, he bites.
(Even that feels strangely difficult right now, though.)
His bite isn't even enough to break skin, in the end; it might bruise, and it will certainly leave a mark, but there's no blood. And though Gen does shoot Set a glare in challenge as he clenches his jaw, digging his teeth in, it doesn't last long. One, two huffed exhales are all he can manage before dropping his gaze as he lets his jaw go slack; his breath gloss cold against spit-slick skin as he lets Set's fingers slip from his mouth. Then, after a hard swallow -- ]
... I just know where I'm supposed to be.
[ His words are quiet and choked, but frank. Set's dogged pursuit has won him that victory, at least for the moment. Gen lets out another shaky exhale. ]
I thought -- I could be different this time. Not just be what people expect me to be. But this is the type of person I'll always be. I can't stand it, I want it all gone. Everything. [ 'Including myself,' a voice whispers at the back of his mind, maybe just loud enough for Set to hear. ] ... pretending I belong with some of the people on that side, it makes me sick. I'm sick and tired of you all.
[ His thoughts go mostly to Eustace and Gray. He'd really wanted to try for them. He really had. But he can't pretend Set's words don't also make some corner of his heart ache. 'I want you to be real and whole in my life.' As if. Gen keeps his gaze ducked as he gives a low laugh; his smile this time is genuine in its bitter melancholy. ]
Too bad for you. You better find someone else to waste your time on.
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It's easy getting most people off his back. A few choice words here, a bristling snarl there, capped off with a little extra posturing usually do the trick with room to spare -- Gen knows his reputation preceeds him, and it should be easy getting people to leave him alone. He's always had to maintain that distance from everyone. It's what it took to keep a secret in that shitty, suffocating small hometown of his. But it feels like every attempt he makes to shake Set off yields zero progress; the warmth of his body just seems to pull closer and closer, like sand seeping into every crevice in cracked dirt. Every word he says claws into his thoughts, and he desperately wants to block them out. He doesn't want Set tempting him towards honesty like this.
Those fingers trace his lips, and Gen drops that pretense of a smirk. Then, after barely a split second's deliberation, he bites.
(Even that feels strangely difficult right now, though.)
His bite isn't even enough to break skin, in the end; it might bruise, and it will certainly leave a mark, but there's no blood. And though Gen does shoot Set a glare in challenge as he clenches his jaw, digging his teeth in, it doesn't last long. One, two huffed exhales are all he can manage before dropping his gaze as he lets his jaw go slack; his breath gloss cold against spit-slick skin as he lets Set's fingers slip from his mouth. Then, after a hard swallow -- ]
... I just know where I'm supposed to be.
[ His words are quiet and choked, but frank. Set's dogged pursuit has won him that victory, at least for the moment. Gen lets out another shaky exhale. ]
I thought -- I could be different this time. Not just be what people expect me to be. But this is the type of person I'll always be. I can't stand it, I want it all gone. Everything. [ 'Including myself,' a voice whispers at the back of his mind, maybe just loud enough for Set to hear. ] ... pretending I belong with some of the people on that side, it makes me sick. I'm sick and tired of you all.
[ His thoughts go mostly to Eustace and Gray. He'd really wanted to try for them. He really had. But he can't pretend Set's words don't also make some corner of his heart ache. 'I want you to be real and whole in my life.' As if. Gen keeps his gaze ducked as he gives a low laugh; his smile this time is genuine in its bitter melancholy. ]
Too bad for you. You better find someone else to waste your time on.