( he breathes out a sigh that... isn't necessarily relief, because while twice might not indicate a pattern, his gut instinct tells him that it teeters dangerously on the edge of perhaps becoming one. but he knows relatively little about what happened on kenos prior to his arrival, and even less about this "horos" world where many of the other Shard-Bearers were prior to coming here. perhaps it's just an unfortunate similarity, though completely random in its occurrence. )
Yes... ( he grimaces. ) One would hope.
( there is truth to what liem says, john knows. there had been good and relatively upstanding institutions of religion that had offered strength and fellowship and peace of mind to people all over the world, though he knows through his own line of work he had only ever seen the most perverse applications of faith. the agents of several of the Fears used such things to manipulate people into following them; those devoted to the Desolation formed the Cult of the Lightless Flame (who had even gone so far as to create a Messiah for their purpose, even if she had guttered out and died before she could bring forth the Blackened Earth for them), and maxwell rayner had been leading the main body of the People's Church of the Divine Host for his own efforts for the Dark for centuries now. perhaps the frequency of his personal dealings with both groups have soured him on the concept of late, but only because he had grown tired of seeing the terrible aftermath of people who were preyed upon in their desperation, manipulated with misconceptions of faith to draw them away from the world at large.
though, in the end, how different is the Magnus Institute from either? he had always tried to ignore how the employees outside the Archives had looked at him after he had been named Head Archivist, but especially after he had returned after he had woken from his six-month "coma." one might not be incorrect in saying that the Institute had worshiped fervently the pursuit of what they perceived as truth, as fact, and john had been one of their most devoted priests.
he is silent for a moment — though liem finds sanctuary in this topic, he finds it an unwieldy and cumbersome one. but he is still happier to answer than he is to lapse back into silence which might turn inward and result in more suffering. ) I've had belief in what I could neither comprehend nor fully explain for a long time now. ( since a cursed book had found its way to him as an eight-year-old boy, an encounter which had nearly ended his young life. ) Even then, I sought out reasons, I sought out answers... But, belief and faith are two different things, aren't they?
...In the same way that you speak of it, no, I don't think so. Since then... it has gotten very difficult for me to have faith in much of anything, because that which I have proof for — which, which I am proof for — are the sort that you wouldn't want to have any in.
( he had once wondered if the Fears had counterparts. if there were conscious manifestations of terror and pain, were there the same for hope, for compassion, for what the heart screamed out for when faced with their worst nightmares, to deliver them?
no, is what he found out. there aren't. or, at least, it has never been recorded that there are; none has ever intervened to save a single human soul from the Dread Powers that preyed upon them. ) Let's just say... far too often I've both read and seen the very worst that can happen to people, and yet I've never seen a single miracle. It... makes it too difficult.
no subject
Yes... ( he grimaces. ) One would hope.
( there is truth to what liem says, john knows. there had been good and relatively upstanding institutions of religion that had offered strength and fellowship and peace of mind to people all over the world, though he knows through his own line of work he had only ever seen the most perverse applications of faith. the agents of several of the Fears used such things to manipulate people into following them; those devoted to the Desolation formed the Cult of the Lightless Flame (who had even gone so far as to create a Messiah for their purpose, even if she had guttered out and died before she could bring forth the Blackened Earth for them), and maxwell rayner had been leading the main body of the People's Church of the Divine Host for his own efforts for the Dark for centuries now. perhaps the frequency of his personal dealings with both groups have soured him on the concept of late, but only because he had grown tired of seeing the terrible aftermath of people who were preyed upon in their desperation, manipulated with misconceptions of faith to draw them away from the world at large.
though, in the end, how different is the Magnus Institute from either? he had always tried to ignore how the employees outside the Archives had looked at him after he had been named Head Archivist, but especially after he had returned after he had woken from his six-month "coma." one might not be incorrect in saying that the Institute had worshiped fervently the pursuit of what they perceived as truth, as fact, and john had been one of their most devoted priests.
he is silent for a moment — though liem finds sanctuary in this topic, he finds it an unwieldy and cumbersome one. but he is still happier to answer than he is to lapse back into silence which might turn inward and result in more suffering. ) I've had belief in what I could neither comprehend nor fully explain for a long time now. ( since a cursed book had found its way to him as an eight-year-old boy, an encounter which had nearly ended his young life. ) Even then, I sought out reasons, I sought out answers... But, belief and faith are two different things, aren't they?
...In the same way that you speak of it, no, I don't think so. Since then... it has gotten very difficult for me to have faith in much of anything, because that which I have proof for — which, which I am proof for — are the sort that you wouldn't want to have any in.
( he had once wondered if the Fears had counterparts. if there were conscious manifestations of terror and pain, were there the same for hope, for compassion, for what the heart screamed out for when faced with their worst nightmares, to deliver them?
no, is what he found out. there aren't. or, at least, it has never been recorded that there are; none has ever intervened to save a single human soul from the Dread Powers that preyed upon them. ) Let's just say... far too often I've both read and seen the very worst that can happen to people, and yet I've never seen a single miracle. It... makes it too difficult.