[ mary that series of words gave me psychic damage and i'm begging for more ]
I can see use in both paths, [ he admits to it, to his ability to see a way forward whether he chooses Meridian or Zenith.
Perhaps that is his weakness, that he will never fall to one side or the other without external pressure to beat him down, to lure him astray. He doubts, far more than he hopes. Hopes do not dwell within him, but Meridian remains the most practical and true path for him to walk, to return to his son and adhere to the promise between them: Atone, return home, start from the beginning. He cannot atone, cannot return the souls he carries with him to the land of their birth and demise — to Duat proper, without there being a world.
He doubts he can Create, as Osiris or Ra has. Fashioning a new world sounds well-within the powers of a god ( and not Zenith, they will fail; they are imperfect, and will corrupt their perfect world long before it ever exists ), but he is a god of chaos, disorder, war. Not a creator, not a beacon of light or life. Yet, Meridian swells within him because it suggests it can give him that — he grows flowers, plants. He speaks to verdant life. He must carry the others with him, for his parameters to swell and accompany all things. ]
I see the reality of Meridian, yet I yearn for my truth in Zenith. I fight a war with myself every day. I am sure you do, too. So. What is your own brother like, to be what calls you home?
[ HIS brother sucks and makes him want to run to zenith to tactically nuke him from existence ]
no subject
I can see use in both paths, [ he admits to it, to his ability to see a way forward whether he chooses Meridian or Zenith.
Perhaps that is his weakness, that he will never fall to one side or the other without external pressure to beat him down, to lure him astray. He doubts, far more than he hopes. Hopes do not dwell within him, but Meridian remains the most practical and true path for him to walk, to return to his son and adhere to the promise between them: Atone, return home, start from the beginning. He cannot atone, cannot return the souls he carries with him to the land of their birth and demise — to Duat proper, without there being a world.
He doubts he can Create, as Osiris or Ra has. Fashioning a new world sounds well-within the powers of a god ( and not Zenith, they will fail; they are imperfect, and will corrupt their perfect world long before it ever exists ), but he is a god of chaos, disorder, war. Not a creator, not a beacon of light or life. Yet, Meridian swells within him because it suggests it can give him that — he grows flowers, plants. He speaks to verdant life. He must carry the others with him, for his parameters to swell and accompany all things. ]
I see the reality of Meridian, yet I yearn for my truth in Zenith. I fight a war with myself every day. I am sure you do, too. So. What is your own brother like, to be what calls you home?
[ HIS brother sucks and makes him want to run to zenith to tactically nuke him from existence ]