[ he chuckles derisively because it's the best he can muster, it painful against his ribs to breathe. The swimming sensation from the flu-like symptoms the corruption has forced on him only makes it worse. It's difficult to keep touch with the reality and to focus, constantly feeling on the verge of simply passing out to sleep away the sickness. The thing is he has no idea if it will subside and neither does anyone else it looks like.
As far as the question on who is going to mourn him— ]
No one, obviously, but that's convenient for all parties.
[ Maybe if Kaeya was here with them Childe might have recognized things enough to realize that he had had some kind of connection to them beyond what his confused state is letting him think. As of right now, though, he can't even conjure the captain in his mind. Then again, maybe he simply expects that the Mondstadt group will always take the opportunity to see a Fatui dead regardless of any relations between them. No one is going to mourn for him. No one will notice. The only one that would notice is perhaps Zhongli, but Zhongli was one of the ones trying to kill him in the first place. If he were arrogant enough he might think Lady Yima would mourn him, but she wouldn't. He's a traitor now, even if he can't really understand how he became one and what caused him to suddenly turncoat. That part is all currently a blur. The Meridian doesn't allow him to think too hard on it, and neither does his condition. He wants to get away, though. He wants to live, and yet he can't even trust the other Meridian to keep him alive. What a bunch of useless indubitably that only know how to talk through their ass about things they aren't capable of. It's clear the lot of them can't even take care of themselves nevermind help others. The only saving grace for the Meridian in Childe's eyes is that he downy give a shit about the other Meridian and would be just fine if they allkilled themselves. His alignment is to the Meridian itself and all of them are eyesores in their ineptness to practice what they preach.
He says nothing immediately, his shuddered breathing the only sound that comes from him as he attempts to put on a brave face. Why does he have to be a fucking martyr for the Meridian? Or is it for the Zenith? He doesn't know. The only thing he does know is his chest burns if he thinks too long on Rosaria words like he's just gone and done.
He sees flashes of his recent times with Zhongli and their constant fighting and inability to communicate. It's not as if he's having a revelation now, either. All the Meridian lets him get out of it is that Zhongli said he was important. Would not leave him alone about him being important. How can the other go and try and kill him now after saying those things? These are the people that should be his enemy, and that includes Zhongli perhaps most of all.
Yet, even with being brainwashed, a part of Childe still resists falling into believing what he's being groomed with even if it all seems to be very true as it unfolds right in front of him. Something about it makes him unable to muster the hatred and resentment to try and kill Rosaria first, even if the odds are against him.
don't do that, she's important to someone who is important... but no one comes to mind. ]
...Oh well. [he sighs as if disappointed (or like he should feel disappointed but isn't surprised, but the truth of the matter is that... the realizations hurt.) ] Anyway, there's nothing to discuss so just hurry up before you miss your chance.
[ there is one more thing... but he isn't sure if he should even bother saying it. In the end, he says it without focusing on what he's saying in fear it'll c confuse him and make him suffer even further. It's better not to be given the opportunity of why he's thinking such things even now.
Childe's voice is quieter than he's been talking so far, and it rings with a sincerity that makes everything he's commented on so far sound incredibly staged. ]
But if you kill me, you owe me... so you'll take care of Zhongli until things go back to normal. [ he can't say until he gets back because he knows there is no guarantee he'll be coming back with the tree as it is. He has to at least hope that the ones alive will get back at least of them all fighting was truly pointless and an even more pathetic ending than it current looks to be. This is not his Childe wanted to die. He wanted to go out in his element in a fight, not as a sickly injured dying animal that only feels pain and has scavengers already waiting to rip into his corpse at the opportunity. ]
Don't get me wrong, I know he was trying to kill me first, so I don't mean he'll be upset over me personally; [ because she probably will be confused why he wants her to do anything to someone that wants him dead. ]
...But he can be weird about stuff at times and might think he failed at something because it turned out like this once it's all over since we're one of the few left of Teyvat. Don't let him confuse himself into a shifty mess of guilt that isn't even valid.
I can't stand the idea of the only person who might be upset I kicked it doing so based out of confusion and self-created burdens.
no subject
As far as the question on who is going to mourn him— ]
No one, obviously, but that's convenient for all parties.
[ Maybe if Kaeya was here with them Childe might have recognized things enough to realize that he had had some kind of connection to them beyond what his confused state is letting him think. As of right now, though, he can't even conjure the captain in his mind. Then again, maybe he simply expects that the Mondstadt group will always take the opportunity to see a Fatui dead regardless of any relations between them. No one is going to mourn for him. No one will notice. The only one that would notice is perhaps Zhongli, but Zhongli was one of the ones trying to kill him in the first place. If he were arrogant enough he might think Lady Yima would mourn him, but she wouldn't. He's a traitor now, even if he can't really understand how he became one and what caused him to suddenly turncoat. That part is all currently a blur. The Meridian doesn't allow him to think too hard on it, and neither does his condition. He wants to get away, though. He wants to live, and yet he can't even trust the other Meridian to keep him alive. What a bunch of useless indubitably that only know how to talk through their ass about things they aren't capable of. It's clear the lot of them can't even take care of themselves nevermind help others. The only saving grace for the Meridian in Childe's eyes is that he downy give a shit about the other Meridian and would be just fine if they allkilled themselves. His alignment is to the Meridian itself and all of them are eyesores in their ineptness to practice what they preach.
He says nothing immediately, his shuddered breathing the only sound that comes from him as he attempts to put on a brave face. Why does he have to be a fucking martyr for the Meridian? Or is it for the Zenith? He doesn't know. The only thing he does know is his chest burns if he thinks too long on Rosaria words like he's just gone and done.
He sees flashes of his recent times with Zhongli and their constant fighting and inability to communicate. It's not as if he's having a revelation now, either. All the Meridian lets him get out of it is that Zhongli said he was important. Would not leave him alone about him being important. How can the other go and try and kill him now after saying those things? These are the people that should be his enemy, and that includes Zhongli perhaps most of all.
Yet, even with being brainwashed, a part of Childe still resists falling into believing what he's being groomed with even if it all seems to be very true as it unfolds right in front of him. Something about it makes him unable to muster the hatred and resentment to try and kill Rosaria first, even if the odds are against him.
don't do that, she's important to someone who is important... but no one comes to mind. ]
...Oh well. [he sighs as if disappointed (or like he should feel disappointed but isn't surprised, but the truth of the matter is that... the realizations hurt.) ] Anyway, there's nothing to discuss so just hurry up before you miss your chance.
[ there is one more thing... but he isn't sure if he should even bother saying it. In the end, he says it without focusing on what he's saying in fear it'll c confuse him and make him suffer even further. It's better not to be given the opportunity of why he's thinking such things even now.
Childe's voice is quieter than he's been talking so far, and it rings with a sincerity that makes everything he's commented on so far sound incredibly staged. ]
But if you kill me, you owe me... so you'll take care of Zhongli until things go back to normal. [ he can't say until he gets back because he knows there is no guarantee he'll be coming back with the tree as it is. He has to at least hope that the ones alive will get back at least of them all fighting was truly pointless and an even more pathetic ending than it current looks to be. This is not his Childe wanted to die. He wanted to go out in his element in a fight, not as a sickly injured dying animal that only feels pain and has scavengers already waiting to rip into his corpse at the opportunity. ]
Don't get me wrong, I know he was trying to kill me first, so I don't mean he'll be upset over me personally; [ because she probably will be confused why he wants her to do anything to someone that wants him dead. ]
...But he can be weird about stuff at times and might think he failed at something because it turned out like this once it's all over since we're one of the few left of Teyvat. Don't let him confuse himself into a shifty mess of guilt that isn't even valid.
I can't stand the idea of the only person who might be upset I kicked it doing so based out of confusion and self-created burdens.