[ he seems to hear, rather than think: a poor showing, captain andor. it sounds like general draven. it sounds like luthen. it sounds like mon mothma.
it sounds like failure. a failure to hear, a failure to keep his composure, a failure to keep himself from this conversation altogether. a spy is nothing without his control. and he is nothing, nothing, nothing. drowning in distance, in freezing zenite apathy, really is better than this.
but the war god doesn't allow him that. that's unsurprising; war isn't merciful. war doesn't care what can and can't be borne. it never has, and it never will. cassian andor has sacrificed everything he can give, to war, and it's never been enough.
set reaches for the shard around his neck, and cassian swallows, but moves on before he does more than twitch his fingers in response. (he's very aware, for a moment, of the blaster at his thigh.) then that hand finds his own, and it's like the eruption of a sunburst: burning away at the margins of his discord, relieving the dissonance, bringing impressions of warm, peaceful days he never had. you did something for us.
he jerks away backwards, breaking the contact. ]
Don't touch me.
[ is growled in warning. but more the warning of a wounded animal, than of a predator. ]
no subject
it sounds like failure. a failure to hear, a failure to keep his composure, a failure to keep himself from this conversation altogether. a spy is nothing without his control. and he is nothing, nothing, nothing. drowning in distance, in freezing zenite apathy, really is better than this.
but the war god doesn't allow him that. that's unsurprising; war isn't merciful. war doesn't care what can and can't be borne. it never has, and it never will. cassian andor has sacrificed everything he can give, to war, and it's never been enough.
set reaches for the shard around his neck, and cassian swallows, but moves on before he does more than twitch his fingers in response. (he's very aware, for a moment, of the blaster at his thigh.) then that hand finds his own, and it's like the eruption of a sunburst: burning away at the margins of his discord, relieving the dissonance, bringing impressions of warm, peaceful days he never had. you did something for us.
he jerks away backwards, breaking the contact. ]
Don't touch me.
[ is growled in warning. but more the warning of a wounded animal, than of a predator. ]