[ His eyes flick down as Gen covers his hand with his own, his gaze staying there as he feels that warmth trust provides seeping in and under the cracks of his own emotions. There isn't much there on his end, faint and buried; what Gen provides him, though, he understands instantly. Would let the floodgates open, if a flood was going to come at all.
But he knows one won't, because that's just the way they are. The both of them. Which is fine, because he can still welcome what he's getting. Let it fall into the cracks where his own buried feelings lie, keep it there and hold it there, as permanent a fixture as emotions for him can be.
He won't move his hand, won't so much as twitch a finger, as long as Gen's is on top of his. It's a small way to turn himself over completely to him, to let him retain his agency after everything he's done for Amos; after the way he'd helped Timmy. Because he'd cared enough to try, and had cared enough to succeed. Because Amos owes him in more ways than one, from kicking his ass so he'd stop wallowing in self-pity to taking on one of the more impossible challenges for him mere moments ago.
And because there is a faint fear, a creeping dread moving at a glacial pace, that for as long as Gen isn't with Zenith, Amos might not be able to repay him in kind. He would never want to hurt him, but he's good at swallowing shit he doesn't want to do in order to accomplish shit that needs to be done. And for as long as Gen is technically the enemy — not his, never his, but his people's — then that remains a possibility.
But he can't say shit like if you don't come home, I can't protect you. It's the truth, but he knows enough to know it's what a piece of shit would say. Someone who manipulates and gaslights others into a shitty situation, and yeah, he'll do that too, but he won't do that to Gen. Kill him if he absolutely needs to, yes. Abuse him? Never.
So his hand doesn't move. His eyes stay on it, on Gen's. That warmth of trust meets the slow and cold oozing of a trepidation of a possible future. And Amos parts his lips slightly, ready to say something and not sure what, before his fingers tighten slightly to give Gen's knee a light squeeze, maintain a proper grip, before looking up into his eyes again, searching them for an honesty he damn well already knows is there. ]
I know you will. And I'll... whatever happens, I'll never hurt him. Ever. [ Reiji, and that's one element he can mean wholeheartedly, because only a sick fuck would ever do anything to that shard — and for everything that's broken about Amos, he is not that. ] I just... there'll be an end. One way or another, everything ends. [ Zenite, Zenite, Zenite. ] You'll get there. If I can, I'll help you. But until then...
[ Until then what? He doesn't fucking know. Amos leans over to cover Gen's hand with his free one, hold it there for a couple of seconds before pulling it back. It was an awkward way to twist his body. He doesn't want to be too weird about shit, come on too strong. Whatever. His hand still on Gen's knee slackens, could easily be pushed away whenever. ]
Look, just don't forget who you're here for. You and I are the same, so I know that's how we both operate. You hold on to that, and you'll make it through just fine.
[ Because that's exactly what he's doing, and he has all the confidence in the world that he'll come out of everything okay — so of course it would be the same for Gen.
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But he knows one won't, because that's just the way they are. The both of them. Which is fine, because he can still welcome what he's getting. Let it fall into the cracks where his own buried feelings lie, keep it there and hold it there, as permanent a fixture as emotions for him can be.
He won't move his hand, won't so much as twitch a finger, as long as Gen's is on top of his. It's a small way to turn himself over completely to him, to let him retain his agency after everything he's done for Amos; after the way he'd helped Timmy. Because he'd cared enough to try, and had cared enough to succeed. Because Amos owes him in more ways than one, from kicking his ass so he'd stop wallowing in self-pity to taking on one of the more impossible challenges for him mere moments ago.
And because there is a faint fear, a creeping dread moving at a glacial pace, that for as long as Gen isn't with Zenith, Amos might not be able to repay him in kind. He would never want to hurt him, but he's good at swallowing shit he doesn't want to do in order to accomplish shit that needs to be done. And for as long as Gen is technically the enemy — not his, never his, but his people's — then that remains a possibility.
But he can't say shit like if you don't come home, I can't protect you. It's the truth, but he knows enough to know it's what a piece of shit would say. Someone who manipulates and gaslights others into a shitty situation, and yeah, he'll do that too, but he won't do that to Gen. Kill him if he absolutely needs to, yes. Abuse him? Never.
So his hand doesn't move. His eyes stay on it, on Gen's. That warmth of trust meets the slow and cold oozing of a trepidation of a possible future. And Amos parts his lips slightly, ready to say something and not sure what, before his fingers tighten slightly to give Gen's knee a light squeeze, maintain a proper grip, before looking up into his eyes again, searching them for an honesty he damn well already knows is there. ]
I know you will. And I'll... whatever happens, I'll never hurt him. Ever. [ Reiji, and that's one element he can mean wholeheartedly, because only a sick fuck would ever do anything to that shard — and for everything that's broken about Amos, he is not that. ] I just... there'll be an end. One way or another, everything ends. [ Zenite, Zenite, Zenite. ] You'll get there. If I can, I'll help you. But until then...
[ Until then what? He doesn't fucking know. Amos leans over to cover Gen's hand with his free one, hold it there for a couple of seconds before pulling it back. It was an awkward way to twist his body. He doesn't want to be too weird about shit, come on too strong. Whatever. His hand still on Gen's knee slackens, could easily be pushed away whenever. ]
Look, just don't forget who you're here for. You and I are the same, so I know that's how we both operate. You hold on to that, and you'll make it through just fine.
[ Because that's exactly what he's doing, and he has all the confidence in the world that he'll come out of everything okay — so of course it would be the same for Gen.
It could not possibly be any other way. ]