[ ... Yeah, that makes sense. The inability to meet his eyes, the sheer rawness Cassian exudes, a man laid bare in front of a stranger and having to take it. Doesn't matter that as far as strangers go one could definitely do worse than Amos — because Amos is still a stranger, so Cassian doesn't know that. Doesn't know that there's no judgment here. Doesn't know that he doesn't need to owe Amos shit.
So when Cassian turns and walks away from him, just like that, Amos gets it. He's left to stand there, dumbly, watching him retreat to somewhere that's not here. To somewhere that doesn't have a person who acquired intimate knowledge about a stranger through dumb luck. Amos stands, and watches, and doesn't move until Cassian is nearly out of sight — at which point he dips his head, exhales, and then sets his eyes on the spire again. Heads towards it again, because that's what he came here to do in the first place. Not live through someone else's nightmare.
Because there's only one thing he would really want from Cassian that Cassian could give him — to come here proper. To go to Yima, to get his sister's shard, to hopefully join him among Zenith's ranks. And that isn't something that can be coerced. Can't be forced. Doing so would go right against Yima's way; Cassian has to want it for himself.
So he just hopes that Cassian heard him. Really heard him. Understood him. And that he'll do all of that, for his own sake.
Which will, obviously, have to come later.
But Amos had meant what he'd said — he's available in whatever capacity Cassian needs, whenever he's ready for it.
And until then, there's plenty of other shit to do. ]
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So when Cassian turns and walks away from him, just like that, Amos gets it. He's left to stand there, dumbly, watching him retreat to somewhere that's not here. To somewhere that doesn't have a person who acquired intimate knowledge about a stranger through dumb luck. Amos stands, and watches, and doesn't move until Cassian is nearly out of sight — at which point he dips his head, exhales, and then sets his eyes on the spire again. Heads towards it again, because that's what he came here to do in the first place. Not live through someone else's nightmare.
Because there's only one thing he would really want from Cassian that Cassian could give him — to come here proper. To go to Yima, to get his sister's shard, to hopefully join him among Zenith's ranks. And that isn't something that can be coerced. Can't be forced. Doing so would go right against Yima's way; Cassian has to want it for himself.
So he just hopes that Cassian heard him. Really heard him. Understood him. And that he'll do all of that, for his own sake.
Which will, obviously, have to come later.
But Amos had meant what he'd said — he's available in whatever capacity Cassian needs, whenever he's ready for it.
And until then, there's plenty of other shit to do. ]