no matter what amos had told him, no matter that cassian had taken the warning seriously: there's no bracing himself for the sight of her. maybe he has seen her already. maybe this is the third time he's seeing kerri, the trees of kenari, today. but for him this is the first time — and so it takes the breath out of him, drains the blood from his face, sets a tremble to his hands, to the rest of him. she speaks, and her voice is achingly familiar, and her words are achingly unfamiliar. she could be speaking shyriiwook for how comprehensible it is to him, rather than the language of his homeworld. in this one miserable moment, before amos does anything, cassian is blindsided by his lost childhood.
and then amos does speak. and then amos does lay a hand on his chest, making him flinch with surprise. and then all that shocked misery curdles inside him, and his sadness sharpens into a hot anger. ]
Fuck you. [ he goes to violently shove amos's arm away, stepping closer to the girl as he does. ] Get out of my face.
[ he can't go to her? the thought hadn't ben a conscious one in his mind, but as soon as amos says it, he's aware of his need to do just that. of course he'll go to her. that's his sister. he's been searching for her since he was a child, and now she's standing in front of him — in kenos, this corner of the universe where the impossible happens — and he should not go to her? no. that simply isn't an option. ]
no subject
no matter what amos had told him, no matter that cassian had taken the warning seriously: there's no bracing himself for the sight of her. maybe he has seen her already. maybe this is the third time he's seeing kerri, the trees of kenari, today. but for him this is the first time — and so it takes the breath out of him, drains the blood from his face, sets a tremble to his hands, to the rest of him. she speaks, and her voice is achingly familiar, and her words are achingly unfamiliar. she could be speaking shyriiwook for how comprehensible it is to him, rather than the language of his homeworld. in this one miserable moment, before amos does anything, cassian is blindsided by his lost childhood.
and then amos does speak. and then amos does lay a hand on his chest, making him flinch with surprise. and then all that shocked misery curdles inside him, and his sadness sharpens into a hot anger. ]
Fuck you. [ he goes to violently shove amos's arm away, stepping closer to the girl as he does. ] Get out of my face.
[ he can't go to her? the thought hadn't ben a conscious one in his mind, but as soon as amos says it, he's aware of his need to do just that. of course he'll go to her. that's his sister. he's been searching for her since he was a child, and now she's standing in front of him — in kenos, this corner of the universe where the impossible happens — and he should not go to her? no. that simply isn't an option. ]