[ it isn't at all uncanny how the lesson Vander chooses to impart isn't so different from the one Silco had not long ago. it's a strange but not uncomfortable dichotomy; with her head in two places at once, she doesn't really care who it is who's holding her or what they're saying.
--so the past won't have power over you anymore. something like that, wasn't it? can't change the past, but... you don't have to be ruled by it. so she wouldn't have to be scared anymore.
she's still scared. she hasn't let go, yet. she wants to, but - it very much feels hard to when a piece of that past is holding onto her now. ]
Vander, everything is... different. I didn't... I thought I'd never see you again, and Vi left, and--
[ ...and there it is, that little worming tendril of familiar paranoia and fear that refuses to die, refuses to let go. only a matter of time, right? she can indulge in heartfelt reunions as long as she wants, but... isn't it inevitable? he's going to find out she's changed, that everything changed, and then--
and then what?
(she's trying so hard to ignore it. so hard. just let them have this. he looks happy to see her and she knows she doesn't deserve it and it's wrong and he'd be so mad if he knew, but--) ]
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--so the past won't have power over you anymore. something like that, wasn't it? can't change the past, but... you don't have to be ruled by it. so she wouldn't have to be scared anymore.
she's still scared. she hasn't let go, yet. she wants to, but - it very much feels hard to when a piece of that past is holding onto her now. ]
Vander, everything is... different. I didn't... I thought I'd never see you again, and Vi left, and--
[ ...and there it is, that little worming tendril of familiar paranoia and fear that refuses to die, refuses to let go. only a matter of time, right? she can indulge in heartfelt reunions as long as she wants, but... isn't it inevitable? he's going to find out she's changed, that everything changed, and then--
and then what?
(she's trying so hard to ignore it. so hard. just let them have this. he looks happy to see her and she knows she doesn't deserve it and it's wrong and he'd be so mad if he knew, but--) ]